This was an interesting read! I agreed with some of the points Mr Brinkmann made, but definitely not all. For instance, I think his idea of Western culture is a bit excessive, but his ideas regarding self-help books match entirely with my own experience.
I think meditation and mindfulness can actually help finding the peace of mind the stoics liked so much, helping us to be more stable instead of being caught up in the moment all the time, and in a way it encourages us not to attach so much meaning to our own thoughts and feelings.
I also think that this book has a rather narrow definition of 'the self' - I agree there are large parts of who we are that are defined by the way we interact with the outside world, but people living outside society don't lose their idea of self. Even if parts of it are a narrative we construct ourselves, and parts of it are simple biology. I'll have to read more on this.
Also, while I agree that not all emotions are to be expressed, they all are valid. Just because you think you shouldn't be mad doesn't mean you're not mad, and trying to push that away will come back to bite you. The point is not to repress that madness, but to look at it, and say: "Ah. I'm mad, and I'm not going to act upon it" and let it be.

That said, I wholeheartedly agree with the notion that, at least for me, it's past time to stop trying to be a more perfect version of me. This is it. There is no end to that process, there is always something else that can be improved, which means you're always falling short. That way lies despair.
Time to accept that a lot of life is mediocre at best, and that's no ones' fault. Some parts are awesome, some parts suck, most of it is.. ok. Forcing yourself to adopt positive mindsets only makes everything so much worse. Cherish the good things, because they are real and amazing and temporary. Be prepared for bad things, because life is never only good. Do good, because that's valuable in itself, not because it makes you feel good (although it's a nice side effect).

I'm pretty sure I won't manage to become the dignified stoic this book recommends me to be, but then, it also taught me to stop striving for such things, so I'll just be my slightly messy perceived self and be ok with that. ( )

En bitvis träffsäker kritik av samtidens besatthet vid personlig utveckling och självförverkligande. Klart läsvärd som en ingång till samtidskritik och stoiskt tänkande, men dessvärre väldigt ojämnt skriven. Jag hade önskat att Brinkmann bearbetat manuset några varv till. Men det är gott om litteraturreferenser för den som vill läsa vidare på annat håll. ( )

Klar kritik af selvudviklingens indtog i privat- og arbejdslivet. Der er vel ikke som sådan noget nyt i det, Brinkmann skriver, men han gør det på en måde, der er umiddelbart forståelig, underholdende og lærerig. Og bedst af alt sætter han ord på en modstand, som jeg og mange andre har imod konstante krav til "personlig udvikling" , "innovation" og "den bedst mulige version af dit autentiske jeg". ( )

Alles gaat tegenwoordig maar sneller en sneller en we voelen constant druk om ons maar te blijven ontwikkelen. Een hoop mensen grijpen daarom naar zelfhulpboeken en -cursussen die ons weer in contact willen laten komen met ons innerlijke zelf. Svend Brinkmann, hoogleraar Psychologie aan de Universiteit van Aalborg, hekelt deze ‘zelfhulpcultuur’ en geeft een verfrissend antwoord op alle zogenaamde positieve psychologie.

Svend Brinkmann leert je hoe je kunt samenwerken met anderen én toch volledig jezelf kunt zijn, door gewoon af en toe nee te zeggen en bovenal stevig in je schoenen te staan. Geïnspireerd door onder meer de filosofie van de stoïcijnen is ( )

Danish psychologist Svend Brinkman encourages those of us who are sick to death of society’s obsession with self-help, self-improvement, self-development, self-esteem – to say no! He is is well-read, witty, and humourous, and the voice of reason in a culture of emotion and self. What a breath of fresh air!

A reviewer writing The Sydney Morning Herald aptly summarizes Brinkman’s work: In a subversion of the typical seven-step self-help guide, he offers his own seven steps, inspired by the ancient Stoics, on resisting the fetishisation of the self: cut out navel-gazing, focus on the negative, say No, suppress your feelings, sack your coach, read a novel and dwell on the past.

Brinkman is upfront that his novel is not for everyone: those who are content in the self-race our society has created and continues to propagate – well, Stand Firm is not for those people. But if, like me, you reject the find-and-develop-yourself ideology as the panacea to happiness and success in our modern society – well, Stand Firm is a must read!

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Best Quotes: (so many!)

On the paradox of society, and our failed attempts to improve working-class lives: I see this so clearly in my work as a public educator where new curriculum, being introduced as we speak at a cost of tens of millions of dollars, perpetrates self-development, self-esteem, follow-your-passion (until I could gag!):

“As a society, we see the paradox machine at work on a bigger scale and in all sorts of contexts: for example, attempts to liberate the working class and its progeny by deploying critical and anti-authoritarian ‘learning by doing’ have merely reproduced inequality (and even exacerbated it in recent years), as these children have found themselves unable to navigate diffuse education structures with their myriad demands for autonomy and self-development. The offspring of the middle and upper classes have encountered no such problems.“ (23)

On the danger of the Yes hat:

“The Stoics see nothing wrong with positive experiences per se, but don’t see pursuing as many of them as possible as an end in itself. In fact, such a pusuit, decked out in a Yes hat and the latest fashionable gear, might stop you achieving peace of mind, the virtue that the Stoics cherish most … But in the accelerating culture, peace of mind is no longer deemed a desirable state. It’s a problem. People with peace of mind are precisely the type who are founded enough to knock back all sorts of (unreasonable) requirements and demands. That is not an asset in an era when the idea is the liquid, flexible, changeable individual.” (51)

On the value of literature in a world of psychobabble:

“I am convinced that the novels of Charles Dickens, Vladimir Nabakov and Cormac McCarthy (some of my favourites) will make us better people than Anthony Robbins’ coaching guides or Martin Seligman’s positive psychology. Admittedly, comparing fiction with self-help is like comparing apples with pears – but what they have in common is that they both explore what it is to be human and what life is all about.” (93) ( )