Full review can be found here:

https://nordie.wordpress.com/2018/08/25/book-review-five-on-brexit-island/

Full review can be found here:

https://nordie.wordpress.com/2018/08/25/book-review-five-on-brexit-island/

This must be the worst book I’ve ever read to the end, and I did this in order to get the full, miserable picture before reviewing it.

Many people will have read Enid Blyton’s Five books as children. This is a famous Five book for grown-ups, penned by a different author.

The first hint of the book’s atrociousness was to be seen in the drawings, though the drawing on the front cover was beyond reproach. As previous readers of the Five books will be aware of, the Famous Five consisted of four children, Julian, Dick, George (despite the name, a girl) and Anne, together with a dog, Timmy.

But there were only three correct drawings depicting the four children and Timmy, the dog. In the first, the four were children, including Anne, a little girl. In the second, Anne is bigger, a teenager. And in the third, Anne’s age can’t be assessed.

In seven drawings there is an extra child; in five of these, an extra boy. In one of them, an extra girl, and in one an extra child, the sex being indeterminate. (I hope that the inclusion of this word beginning with “s” will not result in Amazon refusing this review.) In one of these, Anne appears to be a teenager.

In all the drawings George is easily recognizable by her curly hair.

By the time I got down to actually reading the book, I was so disturbed by the misleading drawings that the story line seemed irrelevant. By the way, Enid Blyton would have turned in her grave had she seen the drawings.

As regards the story line, the book is a sort of parody of Brexit, where the Five go to Kirrin Island, a small island apparently owned by George. I hadn’t heard of this island before, but I probably hadn’t read all the books; or else the island is an invention of the new author.

George decides she wants Kirrin Island to be independent of Britain and they have to vote about it.

It turns out Uncle Quentin and Aunt Fanny, who appear in the book, are George’s parents and the others’ uncle and aunt, which detail I had previously been unaware of.

The children being now older, Julian drinks whisky and George is not averse to taking a sip of it; Julian is also seen to be smoking a cigarette. The children would not previously have adopted either of these deleterious habits, no matter what their age.

Also, this being a modern story, the young people have of course mobile phones. (I can’t say “the Five” because Timmy of course doesn’t have one.)

In actual fact, by the time of Brexit, the Famous Five, or rather the children in question, would not just have become slightly older, as in this book, but be old age pensioners, if they hadn’t long since died (perhaps from drinking too much whisky or smoking too many cigarettes).

The final factor adding to the book’s poor quality was to be found in the last page. In a sentence about Timmy, the dog, came the phrase “Tucking his tale between his legs”. Enid Blyton would again have turned in her grave at this wrong spelling.. Though the quality of Blyton’s writing was often criticized, she would never have failed to distinguish “tale” from “tail”, not being illiterate.

I will not be reading any further of Bruno Vincent’s books in the series “Enid Blyton for Grown-ups”. What a terrible book! ( )

Picked this up in a charity shop with the idea that one day (??) we might look back with nostalgia and a wry smile at the whole Brexit fiasco (when we're Out!)
This is a mildly entertaining spoof on a Blyton tale. The Five are arguing Brexit...and then George declares Kirrin Island independent (Krexit!)
"After sall, how many times have we discovered hidden maps, smuggled goods or crucial military intelligence on this island- each of them with enormous potential worth on the open market?"
Goes on a bit, but amusing idea,. ( )

Spoof on Blyton's Famous Five. This one works better than previous ones in the serious. The gags are less laboured and predictable, and the concept seems to be more Blyton, while still 21st century. ( )