Nothing is new here. Nothing. Everything here has been done. Every single idea, every single concept. There is nothing that sets this book apart from any other generic YA dystopian.

And... instalove. Instalove, instalove, instalove. Instalove triangle, no less. Because, you know, this author picked up the recipe for a YA novel and didn't add any spices. I have recently learned that even if you have no idea what the spices you are using are, it is best to pour them in always. And change recipes. And don't use instalove. Especially not in pasta.

The writing isn't strong or complex. It's just writing. The characters aren't particularly unique or exciting or remotely interesting, and I'm not really invested in their survival.

I might be biased because 2/3rds of the way through I happened to read the author bio and then realised that he is apparently an internet star and this gives him authority to write things because people will buy it. Oh, capitalism, I love you so much. /s ( )

Full Review on my blog!
I used to watch Joey, from when he had 100k subscribers, but now I hardly even watch YouTube. I had seen Children of Eden the video he posted, and the synopsis sounded interesting enough that I eventually picked it up. There are two things that should be noted about this book before picking it up. The first being that it isn’t written solely by Joey. I know there is no indication on the cover, it clearly states on the title page that it was written with Laura L. Sullivan. And the second thing, while this book is ostensibly a standalone, it really is not. The story does not end with any kind of resolution and actually leaves more questions than have been answered. I know there is a second book that was released a few months ago, whether I read it, is the question..

“But alone is good. Alone is safe.”

Children of Eden is a dystopian novel, set in a post-apocalyptic world where the sole survivors of Earth now live in Eden, where everything is regulated, including the human population. Each family is only allowed to have one child, in order to preserve the little amounts of food that exists in Eden. Second Children are illegal and are usually killed before they are even born. Those who have been hidden away in secret by their families, usually live a life of imprisonment and are not able to live a normal life, unless they are able to obtain black market lenses that are used for identification, and assume a new identity. Rowan is a Second Child and comes from a well-respected family who have the means to buy her a pair of lenses and a new identity. However, having this new identity and freedom means that she can never see her family again. When Rowan learns about this, she has her first act of rebellion and escapes from her house for a night. There she meets a friend but this taste of freedom leads to dangerous and tragic consequences. Soon, she finds herself on the run from the Greenshirts and meets other Second Children along the way.

“For a second I marvel at the technology humans can create. How did we get to be so powerful, but so destructive? With so much intelligence, couldn’t we see the point past which one begets the other?

I have mixed feelings on the writing. While most of the writing was good and much better than I had expected going into the book. I liked the world in this book a lot. It was well conceptualized and nicely described. But there was too much focus on World-Building, I felt like the there was hardly any character building… In my opinion it seemed as if, instead of letting the characters and plot develop organically through the writing process, the writers decided upon certain elements and wrote around them.

Like in many, many, many other YA novels, there is a preoccupation with eyes. A major plot point in this story is the people of Eden get fitted with “kaleidoscope” lenses that make them look “flat”. Then, of course, the government that is lying to everyone. Classic. And before I forget to mention the pubescent children who somehow are able to break into government buildings and take down armed guards. Another Classic! AND Of course, what’s a story without love/affection? Love that is immediate and unwarranted. Also, a love triangle…but not any love triangle; a bisexual love triangle. Which was cute and all, BUT DEVELOPED WAYY TOOO FAST… like unbelievably fast, and it felt extremely forced… I felt like there wasn’t much leading up to the ‘love’ part…. it was basically, from the moment of actually meeting Lark … ‘Lark, Lark, Lark, Lark, Lark, Lark,” I thought, “I wonder what Lark is doing, etc” (not a quote from the book, just my way of looking at the insant love)… Mehh…

“Lark rolls toward me, propping herself up on her elbow. She looks into my eyes and says solemnly, “I chose you.”
Then, slowly, she bends until her lips touch mine. Her lilac hair tumbles over us, and though it I can see the stars shining. Oh Earth, they’re spinning! They’re dancing…”

I wouldn’t say this was a completely original story line, it did have some originality and it was entertaining at times. I thought it included some interesting elements, small twists and turns throughout the story that kind of kept me on my toes and turning the pages. But it’s definitely similar to other worlds that I’ve read about before. Having said that, I do think that too much of the book was dedicated to the world building and there wasn’t a lot of anything else in the novel.

One thing that was distracting and took away from the gravity of the plot was the fake curse words that peppered in throughout the book… I felt like the fake curse words were a bit stupid and very unrealistic. Though it became humorous to read the characters exclaiming “bik” or whatever like that during what were meant to be emotionally devastating situations… Yeah very unrealistic… This was one of the reasons why I’m rating this a 3.5 …

All problems aside, the story is intriguing, and I really did enjoy this book. It was an easy, quick read that was kinda fun. I think this is the first and last book of Joey’s I’ll ever review. Also, I’m not sure if I’ll read the next book in the series. I recommend it to those of you that like typical YA dystioian books.

Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Tumblr | Facebook | Store ( )

3.5 Stars ( )

This started out pretty interesting. I enjoyed the main character's relationship to her family and the new emerging friendship. When the action got started, though, everything quickly fell apart. Motivations were strained or forgotten completely, action became haphazard. ( )

First, I read this because my niece asked me to. She wanted to get my feeling about the book. Okay. Luckily, she wasn't ecstatic about the book, herself. And I'll admit that I'm not a big fan of a lot of things that are standard, in YA writing. So take my comments as you will.

Second, the only (minor) spoiler is hidden in a "spoiler" link. And it only spoils something from the first bit of the book.

Graceffa has potential. I say that because I didn't just give up on the book, even though it was continually annoying. There's a... likability to his writing style. I can't quite identify what it is, but it wasn't enough to make me want to follow his career.

In a nutshell, this story is about Rowan, a teen girl and second child, in a post-apocalyptic society that terminates second children. She "shouldn't exist". She is illegal, kept hidden. Of course, the society is secretly dystopian and she somehow ends up in the middle of the whole rebellion thing.

Wait... did I say "middle"? No, she's on the coattails/head of it all. As in, she does stupid things which thrust her into the limelight, storywise, then just gets dragged through most of it... or runs through (she really likes to run) most of it. And she really doesn't understand what's going on, pretty much ever.

Some issues I had:

Characters have no set personality/skillset.They're just whatever the story needs them to be, at that moment. Rowan has spent her entire life with only her father, mother, and brother, yet she has major social skills... when the story needs her to. And she has an amazing ability to parse social cues, without any experience in social settings. Like noticing slight pauses and precisely identifying what they mean.

Rowan's understanding of things seems impossible without a greater knowledge of prefail (contemporary) Earth than she has.

She gets injured, at one point. A sprain bad enough to cause noticeable swelling around the ankle. And it hurts and slows her down, as it should. Except when the story needs her to start running again and the sprain isn't mentioned, until later. Suddenly it's such a bad sprain that she has to hold back a scream. Then it's no big deal, again. In all such instances, it was only mentioned when the author needed to slow her down or rig up some tension/suspense.

Manufactured Suspense:

The Backpack. Just before Rowan goes on the run, for her life, her mother packs her backpack, so Rowan has no idea what's been packed. And her mother tells her that she's packed a secret, too. Mom dies. Anyway... Rowan runs, hides, has this experience and that, has a nap or two... basically, she spends a lot of downtime and otherwise kicks around without looking into the backpack. She thinks about it.(suspense) The author mentions it.(oooh, suspense) And the reader is left to wonder what important thing is in the backpack. I won't tell you, but it makes no frigging sense. That it exists makes sense, but that her mother gave it as a surprise doesn't. And this whole rigamarole is used to manufacture suspense when there isn't any, mainly because the story has no real goal.

EcoPan and Eyeballs. The EcoPan (an all-seeing AI computer system that runs everything) has data based on implanted retinas that all citizens have. Yet there's a whole bunch of nonsense suspense built around a pass card that shouldn't exist. When your eyeballs contain everything from your physical description to your banking details, you don't need no stinking pass cards.

It probably comes as no surprise that my final comment is that the world, itself, makes no sense. It's just various bit and pieces, stuck together and given Frankenstein life. Yick.

Sorry, Joey.You need a serious mentor or editor. Maybe a bunch of Alpha Readers. And, hopefully, the humility to take their advice. I gave it 2 stars, instead of 1, because there's something likeable about it. Like a fugly kid sister, or something. ( )