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Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage

di Kathryn Edin

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2011133,991 (4.2)1
Millie Acevedo bore her first child before the age of 16 and dropped out of high school to care for her newborn. Now 27, she is the unmarried mother of three and is raising her kids in one of Philadelphia's poorest neighborhoods. Would she and her children be better off if she had waited to have them and had married their father first? Why do so many poor American youth like Millie continue to have children before they can afford to take care of them? Over a span of five years, sociologists Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas talked in-depth with 162 low-income single moms like Millie to learn how they think about marriage and family. Promises I Can Keep offers an intimate look at what marriage and motherhood mean to these women and provides the most extensive on-the-ground study to date of why they put children before marriage despite the daunting challenges they know lie ahead.… (altro)
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I didn't care for the format of this book. The authors interviewed/followed 162 women, and they organize the book by subjects. Then they quote multiple women on each page and have to give their background each time they're mentioned, which was repetitive and made it rather impossible to see a woman's story as a whole.

In summary, a few reasons poor, young women put motherhood before marriage:
- Children are viewed as essential to a good life, a way to give mothers respectability and purpose.
- Early pregnancy (even in young teens) does not diminish their future prospects much, if at all, as many of these girls were already headed in bad directions (dropping out of school before getting pregnant, using drugs, being very promiscuous, etc.) and didn't view college/careers as attainable, anyway.
- Their men are unreliable (in financial and fidelity issues, especially) so girls tend to "test" relationships with pregnancy. The girls want to be independent in every way, so that if (or when) a relationship goes south, they are not the ones getting screwed over. ( )
  RachelRachelRachel | Nov 21, 2023 |
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Millie Acevedo bore her first child before the age of 16 and dropped out of high school to care for her newborn. Now 27, she is the unmarried mother of three and is raising her kids in one of Philadelphia's poorest neighborhoods. Would she and her children be better off if she had waited to have them and had married their father first? Why do so many poor American youth like Millie continue to have children before they can afford to take care of them? Over a span of five years, sociologists Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas talked in-depth with 162 low-income single moms like Millie to learn how they think about marriage and family. Promises I Can Keep offers an intimate look at what marriage and motherhood mean to these women and provides the most extensive on-the-ground study to date of why they put children before marriage despite the daunting challenges they know lie ahead.

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