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Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair

di Sarah Schulman

UtentiRecensioniPopolaritàMedia votiCitazioni
380766,568 (3.69)1
"[This work] is a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, revealing how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the 'other' to avoid facing themselves"--Front flap.
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I could not finish this book, despite how much I wanted to.

I think the main premise of the book is excellent. There are a lot of very relatable and meaninful points about how people overstate harm in conflict, and how that creates more problems in our communities.

But the author also makes some pretty ignorant statements, like claiming that all important conversations must happen in person or the person asking for otherwise is being intentionally cruel (I guess she's never talked to Autistic people before), and that requiring content warnings in academic settings is the same thing as censorship. ( )
  EmberMantles | Jan 1, 2024 |
Sarah Schulman is brilliant. ( )
  LizzK | Dec 8, 2023 |
Hated it. Felt like reading a C- masters thesis. ( )
  dualmon | Nov 17, 2021 |
Addresses an important issue, and well-written in parts, but the central thesis is rather undermined by the author's unwillingness to take accountability for her own mistakes, or even accept that she may be wrong sometimes. ( )
  Clare_L | Sep 20, 2021 |
There's some real insight here, but I think this book would have been better as a single focused essay. Instead the author has added a lot of anecdata which I'm not sure holds up to scrutiny, a thesis-less critique of the queer reclamation of family as a thing we get to have, and an extended piece on the 2014 Gaza war that is mostly other people's social media posts (and no evidence that permission was given for publication of those posts). ( )
  elenaj | Jul 31, 2020 |
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“I am grateful to the men and women who create books, and I forgive the men and women who make books necessary.”

— VOICE AT QUAKER MEETING, Peterborough New Hampshire
“It is not only that we may not choose with whom to cohabitate, but that we must actively preserve the unchosen character of inclusive and plural cohabitation; we not only live with those we never chose and to whom we may feel no social sense of belonging, but we are also obligated to preserve their lives and the plurality of which they form a part. In this sense, concrete political norms and ethical prescriptions emerge from the unchosen character of these modes of cohabitation.”

— JUDITH BUTLER, Parting Ways: Jewishness and the Critique of Zionism, 2013
“Shunning is so often the go-to tool of people dealing with problems or conflict in queer communities, which only contributes to cycles of dehumanization and abuse. It’s the easy, simplistic response too often deployed for all manner of interpersonal and inter-community conflict.”

— COOPER LEE BOMBARDIER, Facebook post, January 2015
“I want people to be open to the little power that they do have.”

— LISA HENDERSON, personal conversation, 2015
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This book is dedicated with love to Hindeleh Pivko,

who was only a little girl.
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AS I BEGAN THIS BOOK during the summer of 2014, the human community witnessed systemic repetition of unjustified cruelty with exhaustion and frustration.
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"[This work] is a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, revealing how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the 'other' to avoid facing themselves"--Front flap.

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