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Scary Old Sex

di Arlene Heyman

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A woman goes about certain rituals of sex with her second husband, sharing the bed with the ghosts of her sexual past. A beautiful young art student embarks on an affair with a much older, married, famous artist. A middle-aged woman struggles with the decline of her mother, once glamorous and still commanding; their fraught relationship causes unexpected feelings both shaming and brutal. A man finds that his father has died while in the midst of extra-marital sex and wonders what he should do with the body. And a boy sits in his Calculus class, fantasizing about a schoolmate's breasts and worrying about his father lying in hospital, as outside his classroom window the Twin Towers begin to fall. In this stunning, taboo-breaking debut, Arlene Heyman, a practicing psychiatrist, gives us what really goes on in people's minds, relationships, and beds. Raw, tender, funny, truthful and often shocking, Scary Old Sex is a fierce exploration of the chaos and beauty of life.… (altro)
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Mostra 5 di 5
I must admit that when I was younger I could not imagine old people having sex until one summer evening some friends and I out walking came across a young man vigorously fucking a much, much, older woman in a reasonably public place. Remember that there was no internet and hence no readily available porn in those days so we had no preconceptions to speak of. Apart from the surprise of this encounter I think what left us speechless was that the old woman's vigour certainly matched or surpassed that of the young stud.

In reading some of the other reviews I was surprised to read young people saying that they cannot imagine older people having sex, so much for ideas of liberality among younger people?

Now that I am well and truly a part of the older set I look at older women and can sometimes you can still see the young woman that used to inhabit that body. I've talked to a few that have hinted at adventurous younger times. I can also see that young people will only see the wrinkly skin and not the person. I also get tempted when seeing a group of young people to point to an older person and yell out, "Look carefully, that is your future", but why upset the poor darlings?

So we still have the taboo about old people having sex and these stories show that quite strongly. I do not think they were written for young people so maybe the cover should have a 45 warning on the cover.

If nothing else, this book should give some hope to late the 40s who are facing middle age and wondering if they will ever have sex again. Yes, you will as long as you give up the idea that sexual attraction is fixed to physical appearance alone. Once you get over that you can find real freedom.

It may be worth mentioning for younger people that Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck is well worth a read. ( )
  Ken-Me-Old-Mate | Sep 24, 2020 |
This collection includes stories about partners who are secondary in different ways--lovers of a married person, for instance, or remarried spouses. The relationships feel realistic and not overly romantic or sugar coated. ( )
  librarianarpita | May 29, 2018 |
Great stories. Interesting perspective. One story even had me rereading the end to make sure I got it right, understood just what had happened. What an ....interesting...ending!
  Mike_O | Jul 7, 2017 |
Jesus I don't ever want to get old. (But if I do, let it be in the charmed world of the Upper West Side?) ( )
  benjaminsiegel | Jul 30, 2016 |
Scary Old Sex is neither all about sex nor is it erotica. It's a collection of seven short stories dealing with topics most of us probably try to avoid thinking about if we can: aging, sickness, death etc.
Some of it I could easily relate to, such as the way the relationship with a parent may change once the child turns caregiver to the parent.
Some of it was hilarious and had me in stitches, for example, the description of sex between an older couple which had lost its spontaneity for all sorts of reasons. So yes, there was some sex.
The most touching story was of a family battling the father's cancer diagnosis. I suggest having a box of tissues nearby for that one.
There was a lot of content in those seven short stories: affairs, sexual relationships between the more mature with the young, the way second and third and fourth marriages may affect children but also the parental relationship etc.
Put together by a practicing psychoanalyst, the stories are written in a very candid manner and some of it may be uncomfortable reading but they are incredibly insightful and thought provoking in the way they explore the human psyche intimately.
Great book for reading a chapter a day or so to let it all sink in.
Recommended to all readers because let's face it, this is stuff everybody will have to deal with at some stage.
I received a copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Bloomsbury Publishing and Arlene Heyman. ( )
  Pet12 | Mar 4, 2016 |
Mostra 5 di 5
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A woman goes about certain rituals of sex with her second husband, sharing the bed with the ghosts of her sexual past. A beautiful young art student embarks on an affair with a much older, married, famous artist. A middle-aged woman struggles with the decline of her mother, once glamorous and still commanding; their fraught relationship causes unexpected feelings both shaming and brutal. A man finds that his father has died while in the midst of extra-marital sex and wonders what he should do with the body. And a boy sits in his Calculus class, fantasizing about a schoolmate's breasts and worrying about his father lying in hospital, as outside his classroom window the Twin Towers begin to fall. In this stunning, taboo-breaking debut, Arlene Heyman, a practicing psychiatrist, gives us what really goes on in people's minds, relationships, and beds. Raw, tender, funny, truthful and often shocking, Scary Old Sex is a fierce exploration of the chaos and beauty of life.

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