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A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.… (altro)
(Come inizia:) "Partecipare alle feste a New York è come imbarcarsi in spedizioni antropologiche: non sai mai chi incontrerai e cosa troverai. Di recente mi aggiravo in un evento molto alla moda, e, com'è tipico di questa città popolata di gente che punta al risultato, prima ancora di chiedermi il nome mi hanno chiesto cosa facevo. Ho risposto: 'Sono una terapeuta, e sto scrivendo un libro'. Un bel ragazzo che era accanto a me..."
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WILD THINGS IN CAPTIVITY
Wild things in captivity while they keep their own wild purity won’t breed, they mope, they die.
All men are in captivity, active with captive activity, and the best won’t breed, though they don’t know why.
The great cage of our domesticity kills sex in a man, the simplicity of desire is distorted and twisted awry.
And so, with bitter perversity, gritting against the great adversity, the young ones copulate, hate it, and want to cry.
Sex is a state of grace. In a cage it can’t take place. Break the cage then, start in and try.
D. H. Lawrence
Dedica
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To my parents, Sala Ferlegier and Icek Perel. Their vitality lives on in me.
Incipit
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The story of sex in committed modern couples often tells of a dwindling desire and includes a long list of sexual alibis, which claim to explain the inescapable death of eros.
Citazioni
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Mais les faibles aussi détiennent une forme de pouvoir, qui se manifeste à travers la déférence, la passivité, la retenue, le fait de s'insinuer dans les bonnes grâces de quelqu'un, d'utiliser la posture morale de la victime.
La frustration que les gens éprouvent lorsque leur corps n'est pas touché, carressé, étreint et satisfait, les amène à se sentir acculés.
Il suffit que notre santé nous trahisse, que la mort vienne nous effleurer, pour que nous nous sentions envahis par une bouffée d'insatisfaction, que nous soyons saisis par la faim de quelque chose de meilleur.
Ultime parole
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Nurturing eroticism in the home is an act of open defiance.
A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.