On the morning of 23 September 2009 Helen Meads was murdered by her husband Greg at the stables on their Matamata farm. it was the final chapter in years of control and abuse. Here, Helen's father David White describes the events of that day, and what led to it, and tells of the ordeals that a family is subjected to when one of their own is murdered. IT is a poignant and compelling story. There are issues of custody, access and bail, and looming court appearances. And often, as in this case, there is teh killer's famiyl to deal with. Finally, there is also the bureaucracy and teh media that have to be faced and accepted as inevitable intrusions on the private lives of teh victim's families. Families who would prefer to be left alone to grieve.