DNF - I got 28% in...and just don't care anymore, even though I kinda like the characters, because it's just so boring. I'm glad it was free. I'm glad lots of people seem to've enjoyed it. It's just not for me. ( )

I could've sworn I already rated and reviewed it. While this review indicates a 2020 read date, I got ahold of this before then and have reread it regularly since.

I've been reading Jenny's blog since 2012 and find the origin story of this series delightful. I remember I was so excited when she took a screencap for proof of the fact that briefly, this outsold one of the Fifty Shades books when it was a free ebook. This one still is. I own a paperback copy which I paid Amazon for, and I am fine with that since I used a gift card. I got it awhile after it came out and was so excited to read it. I often read it, even now. My opinion grows more nuanced, I guess, with each read. The sex scenes are well-written and exciting. I couldn't put the book down when I first read it, and uh, responded well. Onward.

My...current perspective of the book is that it's still really good and I'm glad to have it. Good story, good dynamics, good tropes. The friendship between Holli and Sophie is wonderful. I cheered Holli's and Deja's relationship. I liked that Sophie was honest about herself, to herself, about decisions she made throughout the book. I thought she was realistically written as a twenty-four-year-old. I talked about the book with a few people I recommended it to, all of whom were uh, very new to the content described, but the book explained BDSM 101 well, and incited their curiousities for more. Education is good. Curiosity's good. One person immediately said she didn't find Neil at all likeable, and I blurted out, "But he was based off of Giles!" She knew, rose an eyebrow, and I nodded a bit. We're both "Buffy" fans, as is Jenny. She does great recaps on her blog that help me think a lot more critically as a viewer, but also in my own storytelling. That was two years ago, that the person told me she didn't like Neil. Now, I get it. I just reread it, and--he's a dick the whole way through. I'm sorry. I liked him at first; I considered him a refreshing romantic interest. The last few times I read it though, and I intend to continue: can you not put your girlfriend subtly down, please? Even when she was trying to pick you up, you were sarcastic. She was eighteen and didn't have a lot of experience, which is likely why she put up with your bullshit. Just because you teach her how to safeword, explain that you don't want her trapped and let her decide things doesn't make you a star. Those are bare minimums for BDSM relationships. Sometimes he outright insults her--several times, in fact. And needlessly, and more than once during high-stress situations. And he's offended when she understandably points out he has more money than she does, entitling him to a -lot- of privilege, yet it's totally fine for -himself- to point out his own wealth. Meaning brag.

He really does act like a teenager in his relationships more than once, and he acts like people calling him out on it is so overblown. Uggghhh. It was a 'blink and you miss it' monologue, but it has always stuck with me. And in all this: props to Jenny for writing such realistic characters. I loved how Sophie stood up for herself job-wise around him, several times. And -especially- Gabriella and co, because oooohhh wow. Myyy opinions have -seriously- changed from the first read to now, due to my own life experiences that make impossible to empathize with Sophie on a few workplace fronts.

So, I live in an at-will state, meaning I can be fired for any reason or no reason at all, which I have often been and it's not something I'm going to get into. However, I can also leave for any reason or no reason at all, and I've left for seriously good reasons a handful of times. I have a shaky job history and, onward. Gabriella is a (censored) (censored for a few more phrases), and just because she's the queen of a huge fashion magazine doesn't give her the right to be a damn tyrant. She's clearly a character foil for Neil work-wise, but as someone who has worked for supervisors just like her and developed real-life C-PTSD, she fucking sucks and I loathe her. What an -asshole-. Aaaand Sophie practically emotionally breaks her neck with psychological whiplash of "Gabriella was a mentor! Gabriella is demanding! Gabriella blahblah!" I can't -stand- it, but will not sit down about it. That was a Rocky Horror audience participation reference. I was listening to the soundtrack earlier. So. Gabriella behaved atrociously in sooo many ways and so clearly disrespected Sophie. So, she was on a beauty editor list. I'm not impressed, because -she never told Sophie-. She assumed Sophie would jump when she said how high, and just--aurhghgh. Sophie gets blindsided by Gabriella's horrid treatment -a lot-. It's awful to go through on the page. And yet.

Sophie has -a lot- of expectations that she had no right to, work-wise. Again, this comes from someone who works in an at-will state. It wore soooo thin. Like, shut up, dude. At some point, you are just whining and the work sections become hard to read. It's a weird--both whining about Gabriella, whining about things she just felt entitled to, and--aeughgugh. Why on earth would you consider someone who treated you so poorly as a mentor unless--ahh, wow. You were -planning- on turning into a monster -yourself-. Ooh, harder to empathize with you now. You kept your job and in fact got promoted, and were jerked around for two whole years because for some bizarre reason, you thought you'd get promoted to something besides assistant, off it. In my state...you get jerked around until you leave. Promotions don't happen a lot. So, due to my own life experiences, reality, and bitterness, it's...a hard read at times. And yet, it's why I keep reading the book: reading about a fashion magazine workplace is really interesting. I read parts of other books in the series and Neil further makes himself unlikeable with his inappropriate sarcasm and Sophie wasn't enough to keep me reading.

I still wholly congratulate Jenny on her success and will keep reading this, but my opinions have soured and embittered. I'll read for the things I do like. I'm still glad this was written. ( )

Loved it

This book was a lot like the crossfire series and the fifty shades of grey series and as a big fan of both, I really loved this book and i have already purchased the next book in the series and I can’t wait to read what happens next. ( )

I have super mixed feelings about this. Good: this is infinitely better written than [b: Fifty Shades of Grey|10818853|Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)|E.L. James|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1385207843s/10818853.jpg|15732562] and Barnette's BDSM stuff is way more in the safe, sane, and consensual vein than James'. Less good: big age differences in romance are one of my least favorite tropes, and I really wasn't interested in the thread about the conflict with Elwood's daughter at all. Other good: I felt like even the side characters were really well drawn, and the book was fairly engaging on the most basic plot level. Least good: I hated the ending. It felt rushed, over the top, cliched in all sorts of ways that didn't work for me, and left zero closure about ANYTHING. I know that it's a series, but honestly, it's such a downer of an ending I'm not really tempted to read more.

I will say, if you know some Fifty Shades fans looking for something similar to read, this would probably be a great fit.

I couldn't figure out a rating that wouldn't feel kinda disingenuous - because of my respect for the author and my super eeeggghhhh feelings about the genre. Like, ehhhgrgGGhh. Because this wasn't romance, it was certainly erotica, and all I've got for that is a shrug.

So I was curious about this because it was written, in part, as a cheeky answer to Fifty Shades of Grey - kind of like, how could all these characters, dynamics, and themes be sanitized from all the weird misogyny, abuse, so on, that Barnette speaks (and jokes) at length about on her reading-recap blog posts? It was kind of amusing to see her bring up so many pointedly 'flipped' topics - like Sophie has a well-off roommate who is gorgeous, blonde, the envy of all, but Sophie isn't bitter like Ana is of Kate and is instead wicked supportive. Instead of loathing skinny women, it's pointed out that it's exhausting for those skinny women to always be told how lucky they are. Sophie's boss moves her to a different department (and promotes her) after sleeping with her so it isn't so weird...but it's not like Christian buying Ana's job for her, because Sophie's previous boss already recommended her for it. So on and so forth. The deliberate discussions especially about sex and how Sophie wasn't jealous, petty, confused, uncomfortable, so on, were so direct it's like I could sense the characters winking at me because I was totally in on the joke.

But I almost got the sense that because it was so deliberately trying to de-fang all the yikes about 50Shades, it kinda ended up...toothless? Like, it wasn't about anything, and nothing was ever a problem because these people are so dang sensible and respectful that everything is instantly sorted out, and it didn't help that the plot only showed its face like 60% in and kept getting dragged back under by the nearly every-single-chapter extended sex scenes. But, like. It's erotica, so I feel like I can't blame it for that at all, but it got me skimming pretty quickly.

It's a very low-stakes story, where if you just want the silly banter and the sex and none of those pesky plot hang-ups or boring misunderstanding subplots then this is perfect.