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Strangers Drowning: Grappling with Impossible Idealism, Drastic Choices, and the Overpowering Urge to Help

di Larissa MacFarquhar

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3251279,993 (3.63)8
"What does it mean to devote yourself wholly to helping others? In Strangers Drowning, Larissa MacFarquhar seeks out people living lives of extreme ethical commitment and tells their deeply intimate stories; their stubborn integrity and their compromises; their bravery and their recklessness; their joys and defeats and wrenching dilemmas. A couple adopts two children in distress. But then they think: If they can change two lives, why not four? Or ten? They adopt twenty. But how do they weigh the needs of unknown children in distress against the needs of the children they already have? Another couple founds a leprosy colony in the wilderness in India, living in huts with no walls, knowing that their two small children may contract leprosy or be eaten by panthers. The children survive. But what if they hadn't? How would their parents' risk have been judged? A woman believes that if she spends money on herself, rather than donate it to buy life-saving medicine, then she's responsible for the deaths that result. She lives on a fraction of her income, but wonders: when is compromise self-indulgence and when is it essential? We honor such generosity and high ideals; but when we call people do-gooders there is skepticism in it, even hostility. Why do moral people make us uneasy? Between her stories, MacFarquhar threads a lively history of the literature, philosophy, social science, and self-help that have contributed to a deep suspicion of do-gooders in Western culture. Through its sympathetic and beautifully vivid storytelling, Strangers Drowning confronts us with fundamental questions about what it means to be human. In a world of strangers drowning in need, how much should we help, and how much can we help? Is it right to care for strangers even at the expense of those we are closest to? Moving and provocative, Strangers Drowning challenges us to think about what we value most, and why."--Dust jacket.… (altro)
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After reading about 100 pages I put this book down, because the stories became repetitive and the author's interpretations felt preachy. ( )
  Marietje.Halbertsma | Jan 9, 2022 |
I really wanted to like this book, and the subject of altruism - how much of it is purely selfless, how much of it is driven by self-interest conscious or unconscious - is something I am extremely interested in. And MacFarquhar does cover some interesting points associated with this. But I found the prose so plodding in places - especially the real-life examples she writes about - that it made the book annoying to read. Most of those sections read like something written by a not so talented high schooler.

I also found those examples - which are half of the book - were very superficial. There was very little examination of the unintended consequences of the choices people made, or how the people they were helping felt about it. I thought that the author could have gone a lot deeper and done a lot more with the fascinating topic she chose to write about.

While he is by no means perfect, I will chose to read someone like Peter Singer on this topic in future rather than this author. ( )
  ForrestFamily | Mar 26, 2020 |
This is one of those rare life-changing books. It's about "do-gooders" who go to extremes to alleviate suffering in the world. It's a riveting and emotional read. Five stars seems inadequate for this one! ( )
  jasoncomely | Feb 8, 2019 |
This book was put together in a creative way; it wasn't just philosophy and it wasn't just case studies, it was both, but interspersed chapter-by-chapter, sometimes multiple chapters of one followed by one chapter of the other, or vice versa.

MacFarquhar is fascinated by extreme altruists, or as she likes to call them, "do-gooders." She interviews a wide variety of them and lets them tell their stories, sometimes directly with their own words, sometimes through her. In between, she ponders what we owe to others vs. ourselves, and how we each answer that question differently, and what we lose - as well as gain - when we put others' needs above our own. "Others" in all these contexts means those who are neither ourselves NOR our family members, nor even our friends, acquaintances, or neighbors - the do-gooders chronicled here are all dedicated to helping strangers.

Personal interest: One case study involved a family that adopted 22 children, hailing from none other than my home state, in Barre, Vermont.

Enjoy her interview here with Tyler Cowen:
https://medium.com/conversations-with-tyler/tyler-cowen-larissa-macfarquhar-writ... ( )
1 vota Tytania | Jan 23, 2019 |
This is a pretty fascinating collection of profiles, although it began to feel a little same-y toward the end. I wish MacFarquhar had done more to tie it all together, though. ( )
  GaylaBassham | May 27, 2018 |
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"What does it mean to devote yourself wholly to helping others? In Strangers Drowning, Larissa MacFarquhar seeks out people living lives of extreme ethical commitment and tells their deeply intimate stories; their stubborn integrity and their compromises; their bravery and their recklessness; their joys and defeats and wrenching dilemmas. A couple adopts two children in distress. But then they think: If they can change two lives, why not four? Or ten? They adopt twenty. But how do they weigh the needs of unknown children in distress against the needs of the children they already have? Another couple founds a leprosy colony in the wilderness in India, living in huts with no walls, knowing that their two small children may contract leprosy or be eaten by panthers. The children survive. But what if they hadn't? How would their parents' risk have been judged? A woman believes that if she spends money on herself, rather than donate it to buy life-saving medicine, then she's responsible for the deaths that result. She lives on a fraction of her income, but wonders: when is compromise self-indulgence and when is it essential? We honor such generosity and high ideals; but when we call people do-gooders there is skepticism in it, even hostility. Why do moral people make us uneasy? Between her stories, MacFarquhar threads a lively history of the literature, philosophy, social science, and self-help that have contributed to a deep suspicion of do-gooders in Western culture. Through its sympathetic and beautifully vivid storytelling, Strangers Drowning confronts us with fundamental questions about what it means to be human. In a world of strangers drowning in need, how much should we help, and how much can we help? Is it right to care for strangers even at the expense of those we are closest to? Moving and provocative, Strangers Drowning challenges us to think about what we value most, and why."--Dust jacket.

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