I read this through the Breathless Anthology and loved it. I love that Tijan writes these stories that have a dark twist in them.

We meet Alex and Jesse in this book. They share a bond that no one understands. The death of her brother is what keeps them connected. This was a page turner just trying to find out what happens next. Your heart will break for Alex as she spends the year trying to overcome the death and her parents non existence in her life.

Warning this is a cliff hanger and you will find yourself buying the second book just to find out what happens next. ( )

Love Tijan books ( )

I am beginning to see a pattern in Tijan's writing. Angst, angst and soooo much angst.

Did I enjoy this book? Yes I did, but i found that there was so much unnecessary pain. I felt for Alex all the way. She was truly hurting. She lost her brother, and lost her parents to the pain of losing their child. She was stranded in limbo and constantly reaching out for a helping hand that never came.

I don't understand why she did not confide in someone. Tijan focuses on the very strong female as the lead of the stories, and those females NEVER confide in their friends. It ads to the character as a person that can endure more then someone else. In this book I thought that Alex was punishing herself by not letting herself breathe. Any normal person would confide in their friends, because that's what people do when they grieve. Alex had at least one friend to confide in, but if she had, she would lose that element of suffering in isolation. There is the same pattern that repeats in Tijan's books. In one way it ads to the female lead, in the other way, it takes away from her, leaving her seemingly unable to connect with other people.

Jesse i did NOT like. He was a weak person throughout the novel and there was more then one moment when i wanted to reach in the book and rip his balls off. He was the epitome of selfishness. He knew Alex was hurting and he knew her feelings for him, but he took care of himself first and foremost. Everything was about what he was going trough, without a thought of what his actions might be causing. By the end i just thought that there was so much against him that he just couldn't be redeemed. He is a weakling and an asshole. Alex could do much better.

This was a good read, and on the other hand it's becoming predictable. I swear, after all was said and done i needed a Xanax to get on with my day. Tijan covers some grave situations, but ads a lot to them. I need to read something about magical bunnies and singing birdies right now, just to feel human again.

( )

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!!!

I really struggled with rating this book. I am fluctuating between 3 and 4 stars. I may just have to settle with 3.5 for now.

Let me start off by saying that I am a big fan of Tijan's writing. I own several books by this author and one of my all-time favorite reads is by Tijan. I knew, going in, that this was only part of a complete story and there would be a cliffhanger at the end. I just felt that the cliffhanger was confusing. How did Alex go from beginning to heal into making everyone in town terrified of her? It wasn't really explained. Was she brandishing weapons and punching babies in the face while chugging blood and smoking a joint? I am seriously confused. I can only hope that it will be explained at some point in the second half of this story.

There were so many unanswered questions in this first half of the story. Why were Jesse and Ethan fighting over Alex on the night Ethan died? Why was Ethan so upset in the last few months of his life? Why did Alex's parents pull away from her even before Ethan's death? Ugh!! I seriously hope these questions are answered in the second half of the story.

Did I mention that all of the characters are in serious need of grief counseling? Wow. One of my tags for this book is "some kind of dysfunction," but I am seriously thinking of making a tag for this book alone labeled "a whole world full of crazy-ass dysfunction." Actually, I could use that tag for almost all of Tijan's books. I think that is why I love them so much!

I am unsure how I feel about Alex. On one hand, I feel so sorry for her. Not only did she loose her brother, but she lost her parents too. On the other hand, I want to slap her in the face and tell her to quit being such a doormat. One of my favorite scenes in the book happens in Vegas when Eric chews Alex out at the hotel before he leaves. He pretty much tells her she is a pathetic, spineless excuse for a girl and she disgusts him. I felt like cheering! Unfortunately, she only has a brief moment of actualization before she is licking the boots of Jesse again. AAAAHHHH!!! I almost hope that she did become a baby punching, blood guzzling, weapon wielding pot head! At least she'd have a spine again.

At this point in the story, I really don't like Jesse. He may have been a good friend to Alex before Ethan died, but he is a horrible friend to Ethan's little sister now. I understand the "using each other for sex to get over our grief" concept. People do it all the time. That is not my issue with the relationship between Alex and Jesse. My issue is with Jesse's possessive-alpha-male attitude towards Alex. How he tells her that he's had sex with other girls since he was at college and then tells her she can't have a boyfriend when he comes home for Christmas break. Seriously??? Even worse? She agrees! Eric, I agree with you. She disgusts me too! The only reason why I don't flat out hate Jesse at this point is that I do believe most of his actions are caused by his unresolved grief.

The other characters in the book were okay. I did love Angie and Justin's relationship. They were a nice calm breeze in the constant storm of Alex's emotions and relationships. Angie was a great friend to Alex when everyone else was bailing on her. I seriously hope Alex gets her crap together and mends her fences with Angie. Marissa was the type of friend I think everyone has had at least once in their lives. You know, the person who treats you like crap, but you have been friends with that person for almost your entire life so you put up with it because you don't know how NOT to be friends with that person. I normally could care less if I ever saw Marissa again, but there were some unanswered questions regarding her in the story. So even though I think I already know the answer to those questions, I would like a confirmation answer in the second half of the story. I wish Alex would have given Eric more of a chance. He truly was a nice guy. I am curious as to why Jesse hates him so much. I don't think it only has to do with Eric's interest in Alex. I get the feeling that there is something more going on between those two.

Tijan always does a great job writing horrifically self-centered absent parents and the author does not disappoint us in this book. In the beginning I felt sorry for Alex's parents. I figured the grief was so overwhelming for them at that point in time. That they would eventually redeem themselves and begin helping Alex heal. I should have known better from previously reading other Tijan books that this would not be the case. Alex's parents are beyond grieving, they are completely self-absorbed. I wanted to spit in her father's face at the hospital when he treated Jesse like his own child and completely ignored Alex. Then I wanted to smack both of the parents around when they told Alex they were leaving on vacation by a note. Then they told her they moved out by letter. They wished her well as if they were old neighbors and not the ones who were suppose to love her unconditionally! Seriously, at that point I wished the mom's overdose had worked! (No...I don't have anger issues. I jut don't like horrible parents). And for all those naysayers out there who think parents could never behave like that, you must have never had an absentee parent. And I have heard it remarked that it was unrealistic that no one would step-in to help. It happens all the time. Especially when the child is hiding it from everyone. I can only keep my fingers crossed that they will wake-up in the second novel and redeem themselves.

Well, even though I have conflicted feelings regarding this story, I am looking forward to the second half. If it is anything like Tijan's other books it will only get grittier and crazier before it finally comes together. And in the end, she always pulls her stories together for her readers. ( )