Hmmm. I had read that the first part of this book was quite good, and that it takes a turn and gets dull towards the end, and I thought -- perhaps for the casual reader, but not for me -- after all, I've been stalked. I know what it feels like, and I recall how angry and focused I became. I figured I would find a kindred story, with perhaps some insight on the way one's life and reputation can come to feel utterly vulnerable and transparent. And this is what I found in the majority of the book. Lasdun has great insight into his situation and even compassion for his stalker (as I did for mine), and although his situation has stayed the same (spoiler alert: He is still being stalked, five years later), he has found a way to cope and even create some good work from this experience.

I confess I wasn't too interested in the last third or so of the book, where Lasdun visits Israel and has many deep insights about his Jewish heritage. I wanted to know more about what happened to his stalker, how his life went on, was she ever stopped -- but perhaps it's because his nightmare seems unending that Lasdun needed to pause and reflect. I hope I understand his need, but it made for a very good book with a dull, anticlimactic ending.

( )

Some notes about other reviews: many other readers find the digressions mar the book, but the digressions illuminate the issues with which Lasdun grapples. As for Lasdun coming across as unlikable or pompous, the punishment seems to exceed the crime. ( )

This is his side of being stalked by a former student via the internet. He is detached as he tells the stalking tale. It maddened me. Why didn't he change his e-mail address? Why didn't he go to the local police first? I didn't care about the stalking part. It was unresolved by the end of the book.

What made the book worth reading was when he left the stalking part behind and told stories of his father, of Jerusalem, his train ride, and history of places and people he met. I got lost in those stories. His writing was excellent. ( )

James Lasdun is one of those extremely rare writers who can write superb fiction, poetry and non-fiction, in this case a memoir of being stalked by a former student. While his prose might seem quiet and understated he has the ability to the felicitous word, the one that makes you shiver because it is so precisely what must be said. This is a departure for him but one necessitated by the disruption of his life when a young Iranian woman, who he had gone out of his way to help, became obsessed and demonic, not only to him but to the editor he recommended her to. There is a middle section in which Lasdun takes a train ride by himself out West to visit DH Lawrence's last home and during the trip we are privy to Lasdun's extraoridnary and unsparing ability to tease out themes and reactions in a way that reminded me of the meticulous unpacking that Freud demonstrates. It does not matter that I agree, that is immaterial, but the process indicates how he thinks and that was perhaps the most impressive quality of the book - how he thinks. He did not as far as I could tell do himself any favors nor hide any faults. He realizes too late that he colluded in the friendship, even to the point of the power relationship between the friendship. He enjoyed her attention until he didn't enjoy it anymore as she set about ,as she says, trying to ruin him. The book, however, weakens at the end in his exploration of the anti-Semitism of the assault, not because it isn't true but because he begins to recede from view. The subject matter, his trip to Israel, etc overpower the more intimate aspects of his self-revelation. ( )

I would never have thought a memoir sold as the harrowing account of a man stalked by a former student could have so much self-important navel-gazing and so many irrelevant digressions. Lasdun comes off as a pretentious, arrogant, entitled jerk, which I can't imagine was his intention. He went through something tough, and I would have been interested to learn about it, but instead I'm wading through whole sections of "unrelated things I thought about on the train." Ugh.

Another complaint: it's like a man had to be stalked and a man had to write about it for stalking to be taken seriously, when women are the likeliest victims of stalking, and by far the likeliest victims of violence from it. Lasdun is getting a lot of annoying and cryptic emails. That sucks. She even posted negative book reviews on his novels on Amazon and Goodreads! The horror! But where's the context? There's never a note that other people also experience this or how it can escalate. I'm not asking for a lit review chapter here, but maybe a lit review paragraph so we can understand the scope of the problem? Or does he not realize the problem exists outside of his inbox? ( )