Why did I read this? It was not badly written and I read it straight through in one sitting. Not a bad book. But man. Yikes. ( )

i didnt like it ( )

Flawed had everything I look for in a book...

Angst, Emotions, Romance, Suspense, and Heartbreak.



I cannot say enough good things... As emotional as it was, in some twisted way the story was beautiful. Yeah there were ugly parts and taboo scenes, but those made me connect to the characters and feel every emotion they were feeling. I quickly became addicted to the story and couldn't stop reading.



Sarah was kind, compassionate, and strong. The things she goes through are enough to make a person go insane, but somehow she holds it together. No matter what her feelings are towards Sam, her brother is in the back of her mind because he is controlling and possessive. Her father is a*whole*nother story... He is a d*ck. Excuse my language, but the things he does to Sarah are sickening! You will see if you read...



*Here is your warning* The ending is a WOW! I won't say if it's good or bad, but let me just say I have a HUGE Book Hangover from it!



All in all this book was one I will remember forever. It quickly jumped to the top of my all time favorites list. I recommend it to everyone! ( )

I thought it would be like Forbidden, a book that I really liked, but this one was a lot more disturbing actually. Sarah and James are the children of an ex-boxer who has become a violent, drunken loser while their mother is slowly killing herself with painkillers. They depend on each other way more than siblings should. Both of them suffer abuse at the hands of their father, and James has become the protector of Sarah, often taking the beatings for her as the older sibling. He’s trying to protect her so much that he becomes obsessed with her. He makes her promise to never leave him. As appealing as that was at age 9, not so much at 17. And now he won't let her have friends or a job, let alone a boyfriend. But Sarah and Sam fall secretly in love and she realizes that she never expected to have her own life until now. Caught between love and loyalty, Sarah tries to make it through the last summer as a minor to escape her horrible situation but will it be with James or with Sam. It had a very surprising ending for me. It’s a raw and tragic book. ( )

Sarah has spent her entire life in a household ruled by her father's iron fists. Her mother spends her days trapped in a haze of drugs, and the only person in Sarah's life who actually seems to care about her is her older brother, James. James has taken beatings her father meant for her many times, but now that Sarah and James are getting older, their relationship is becoming infinitely more complicated. Meanwhile, James' best friend, Sam, has had a crush on Sarah for years - a crush that is definitely mutual. James won't allow Sarah to be with anyone, so their relationship has to develop in secret, but as it blooms, Sarah begins to think that there might be a life for her beyond all of the dysfunction she has known - that is, if James will ever let her go.

Well, I must say that this is a difficult book for me to rate (as well as read), on a few different levels. One of the reasons, unfortunately, is that I grew up in a highly dysfunctional and abusive home myself, which ultimately colours my perception of the story. And let me say that the author did a wonderful job of capturing this type of life, because at times I found some very triggery sentences and thoughts that felt, ultimately, very real and true. The book should make the reader uncomfortable, and I do believe it does.

Sarah is a difficult character to relate to, I think, if you haven't been there. She comes off as very immature and passive, but considering the way she grew up, I would expect this from her. She has no idea what a "normal" relationship is - all she really sees is her parents, which is hardly healthy. And though she does love Sam, when sex is introduced into their relationship, she doesn't really see herself or her wants as a meaningful factor - she is all about if Sam wants sex, if Sam needs her to do this or that, if she can keep Sam in her life by giving him what he wants, etc. Sad, but, once again, I believe true to Sarah's existence.

I have to say that those who seem to think that there is a "love triangle" in this book kind of creep me out a little. Ranting ahead. What James feels for Sarah is hardly love. It's co-dependence. It's an overwhelming need to control SOMETHING in his completely out-of-control life. Does he do nice things for Sarah? Yes, at times. But as soon as Sarah does something he doesn't like, as soon as she isn't his passive little doll that he can put on a pedestal, he loses it and hurts her - emotionally at first, but later physically. He kills Sam at the end because he cannot bear to lose her - and if he truly did love her, he would have let her go, even if it hurt, even if he felt like he was dying inside, because he ultimately wanted her to be happy. But he DIDN'T want her to be happy; he didn't want her to have a life that doesn't revolve around him. And that is why he DOES NOT love her. And, rather than face up to the consequences of killing Sam, he kills himself, which effectively takes everyone out of Sarah's life - her father, who is locked up in jail; her mother, whom he helped kill to help her escape from the hell she had lived all of her married life; Sam, her boyfriend, who wanted to take her away from all of this; and her brother, himself, because he knew, ultimately, that he had lost Sarah, and he couldn't face that.

The ending is sad and brutal, and I can see why it is upsetting. It should be upsetting. But, really, I think it was necessary for Sarah to finally stand up on her own two feet. For her whole life, she had allowed James to make the decisions (something she realizes towards the end of the book), and she was allowing Sam to take James' place in her life. Unfortunately, if Sarah was to have any will of her own at all, she had to be completely alone in her life. And she reflects upon this, a little, at the end of the book.

This isn't an easy book to read, but it shouldn't be. Sarah's life is extremely difficult and tough; I've been in a similar situation. Pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps when all you've only known being kicked down is a hard thing. But I would recommend this book, ultimately. ( )