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The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking (2012)

di Oliver Burkeman

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9934020,794 (3.85)29
Exploring the dark side of the theories put forth by such icons as Norman Vincent Peale and Eckhart Tolle by looking to both ancient philosophy and current business theory, Burkeman--a feature writer for British newspaper The Guardian--offers up the counterintuitive idea that only by embracing and examining failure and loss and unhappiness will we become free of it.… (altro)
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» Vedi le 29 citazioni

Very interesting and enjoyable book. The cure for obsessive optimism. ( )
  beentsy | Aug 12, 2023 |
Another thought provoking read by Oliver Burkeman. I really appreciate his willingness to explore a topic in a very different way, here the positive thinking to happiness self-help world. I have fallen into the self-help books trap at times and I know how enticing it can be. "This Book Will Change Your Life". Burkeman's approach isn't to debunk but to use the idea of making change as a launch pad to explore philosophical and other modes of thought and apply those to life change. It is the opposite of a self-help, there are not 10 rules to follow or 7 personality types or whatever. Rather a new way to think about what change you might want and how you can explore it or perhaps how he chooses to explore it and what spaces that might open for the reader. Just a really refreshing read that will stick with me.
  amyem58 | Jan 1, 2023 |
This brought to mind a bit by Louis CK where he says «You gotta be optimistic [...]. Stupid. You have to be stupid. That's what "optimistic" means, you know... It means stupid. “Hey, maybe something nice will happen.” Why the f*** would anything nice ever happen? What are you, stupid?» Haha.
I'm not saying I'm a pessimist, but rather a realist who can't stand positive thinking and the self-help rubbish. ( )
  TonyDib | Jan 28, 2022 |
Stoicism teaches us that how we feel about a thing is not the same as the thing itself. Traffic may be bad but I don’t have to feel bad about traffic. I can choose how I feel about a thing, a decision which can foster peace or chaos, depending on the choice. But acceptance does not mean resignation.

From the Buddhists, “I” and my thoughts are not the same. Observing my thoughts can lead to a healthy detachment from them, leading to greater clarity of action - I do not have to feel like doing a thing to do that thing.

Slow down.

Safety, comfort, control, security are impermanent. Life includes risk, discomfort, chaos, vulnerability, failure, and eventually death. The negative capacity is a skill that doesn’t avoid the difficult aspects of life, neither does it seek them out. But when they come, it embraces them for what they are.

Happiness is not measured by one’s success in the relentless pursuit of the positive; it is a clear eyed, curious (awe and wonder), open embrace of all the mysteries of life. ( )
  nrfaris | Dec 23, 2021 |
The name says it all! If, like me, you have sat stone-faced opposite someone telling you people bring cancer upon themselves through negative thinking, then you'll see why the title suggests that the positive thinking movement is some kind of poison.

The Antidote has some nice practical ideas about stoicism, mindfulness meditation, the darker side of goal-setting, thinking about failure, and a brief introduction to some of the key ideas in CBT. If you forget all of it or it isn't for you at least the book will have made you laugh.

In the footnotes he mentions that there are some exceptions to the fact that self-help books are useless, one such exception being Feeling Good by David D. Burns. If you are going through a crisis or want to prepare yourself to deal with one in the future that is the book to read. The Antidote is an entertaining book about getting through the supermarket and the working day. ( )
  RebeccaBooks | Sep 16, 2021 |
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I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought, 'what the hell good would that do?'

Ronnie Shakes
I have always been fascinated by the law of reversed effort. Sometimes I call it 'the backwards law'. When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float . . . insecurity is the result of trying to be secure . . . contrariwise, salvation and sanity consist in the most radical recognition that we have no way of saving ourselves.

Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity
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The man who claims that he is about to tell me the secret of human happiness is eighty-three years old, with an alarming orange tan that does nothing to enhance his credibility.
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Exploring the dark side of the theories put forth by such icons as Norman Vincent Peale and Eckhart Tolle by looking to both ancient philosophy and current business theory, Burkeman--a feature writer for British newspaper The Guardian--offers up the counterintuitive idea that only by embracing and examining failure and loss and unhappiness will we become free of it.

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