The story of Hochschild's search for a long-term care solution for her ailing elderly aunt frames this study of the marketing and consumerism that now afflicts our intimate lives. I've been a fan of Hochschild's works for some time, and found this to be a very readable, personable account of the various fields which have become consumer based, from dating and wedding planning, to child-rearing and party planning, elder care and friends-for-hire. She interviews people who have hired help, as well as those who offer themselves for hire, getting both sides of the story, not judging either party. It is telling that I found many of the services described perfectly normal, or at least, acceptable, which would not have been the case even just ten or fifteen years ago. ( )

Interesting read, but not enough of linking between chapters/types of out-sourced services. The author used a personal issue/need as a kind of bridge but it wasn't very effective. ( )

Years ago in a sociology course, we discussed the mythology of convenience. In particular, the myth versus the reality of the washing machine. A convenience that was suppose to help reduce the amount of time required to do laundry that ended up increasing it. As a child, we didn't have washing and dryer in the home. So we had to go to the Laundromat once a week. That meant we had "school clothes" (which would get removed and hung up immediately upon getting home from school and "play clothes" which often got worn every day for a week unless they got so dirty mom couldn't stand to look at us anymore. And once a week, we'd go off to the Laundromat and spend a couple of hours doing laundry.

When we finally got a washer and dryer, things slowly changed. Play clothes no longer got worn every day of the week, because it was so easy to do a load of laundry. School clothes didn't need to be hung up and worn a second time before getting washed. Over time, the once a week for two hours job of doing laundry because an every day task.

From this perspective, I came into Alrie Russell Hochschild's The Outsourced Self.

Hochschild provides an amazingly intimate look at the commercialization of our family lives. Interwoven with her own personal narrative about her quest to find a live-in care giver for her elderly aunt Elizabeth, Hochschild discusses everything from matchmaking services to wedding planners to professional nameologists that help you select baby names to marriage counselors, nannies, party planners, and "wantologists" who help you figure out what you really want.

In all cases, one of the underlying themes is how our modern conveniences have made us more busy, not frazzled, and more in need of "professionals" to take care of tasks our parents, aunts, uncles, friends, and neighbors once did. As Hochschild navigates the often Byzantine realm of life coaches, rent-a-friend services, surrogate motherhood, and more, we bear witness to a society full of people who have lost the ability to trust their own instincts over the marketplace when it comes to finding a balance in life. Many of the individuals profiled in the book are otherwise successful career people who, despite their financial success, can't find the confidence to tackle family issues without the help of a consultant.

The author has a wonderful ability to dig to the root of the matter. Particularly on the subject of elder care in America, I found myself crying several times as her interview subjects shared their personal experiences as both consumers and service providers. I found myself growing angry at the strange disconnect between the wealthy consumers and their undocumented nannies or the surrogate mothers in India who rented their wombs to rich couples in exchange for enough money to feed their own families. Every personal profile hits the raw nerves beneath the shiny marketplace of the self.

The overall presentation is thoughtful and insightful. This isn't an exposé designed to rile people up or push an agenda. In many ways, this is the story of one woman trying to understand where the idea of family and community ends and the marketplace begins, and finding no clear answers. ( )