Different cover picture

I don’t know what it is I find difficult about Wharton, but I tend to find her writing style a bit too careful and formulaic, and at times the elegance of her highbred American characters can be irksome. ( )

I've never read a story where the protagonist was so self-centered and shallow yet so likable. And I've never read a story where money and partying meant so much to the protagonist, aspirations that are so foreign to myself, yet I still felt sympathy for her, and her misfortunes felt so real and callous.

This might be described as a story about New York, high society, partying, traveling, love, scandals, ambition, or money. But most of all this is a story ultimately about Miss Lily Bart's loneliness, and it succeeds in portraying this loneliness so well that I have to recommend it wholeheartedly. ( )

A woman in Lily Bart's world had only two options: marriage or death.

Lily was special -- primed to marry well, to be "decorative" and "ornamental," particularly for her exquisite beauty, and conditioned to avoid a "dingy" life. Except, Lily struggled to make decisions and had missed a few earlier opportunities to marry well. Now she was closer to being beyond marriageable age.

Unfortunately, Lily had expensive taste and was obsessed with money; and she was poor, sustained only by the pity of a wealthy aunt. She complained that men had a choice to marry or remain single, but women did not. If women were to appear successful and rich, they must marry into "partnership" with a successful man. Therefore, Lily was holding out for that unique man who was successful, well-off, and could also bring her happiness. But who?

Selden was a good friend to Lily, but he was not wealthy, and Lily knew he could never financially satisfy her thirst to keep up with high society. And yet, she considered him the "richest man she had ever met." He was free from the restraints of society.

Regrettably, high society was exhausting because there were so many rules that women had to obey, and many rules were hypocritical. Lily also felt the pressure to gamble because that is what women in her circle were expected to do. Lily's gambling addiction later cost her everything.

Lily frustrated me

Up to this point, Lily had frustrated me. She was malleable, indecisive, and foolish. And while I added up all of the lies she had told to cover her wretched lifestyle or to save herself from mortification, she showed a glimmer of noble character. Lily had received evidence that a married woman in her circle of acquaintances had pursued a romantic affair with Selden through letters. But instead of confronting either party, she kept the information to herself, specifically to protect her good friend; however, it could have been used to blackmail the wicked married woman who intentionally singled out Lily, took advantage of her, and finally, out of jealousy, sabotaged her reputation with rumors and, thus, isolated her from society.

It seemed everyone and everything had turned against Lily. She did not belong to that harsh "other world." Selden saw this clearly. He loved her and wanted to rescue her from it, but he could not help her. She was all alone.
That's Lily all over, you know: she works like a slave preparing the ground and sowing her seed; but the day she ought to be reaping the harvest she oversleeps herself or goes off on a picnic.
One of my own marginal notes stated: Lily would have married a rich prince, but self-sabotage is always her end. I don't think Lily wants to be married after all.

This story was hardly over when Lily's worldly aunt died of humiliation. She was outraged with her niece because of the rumors she had heard about Lily's "folly" and, therefore, decreased her legacy, leaving her in an extremely precarious circumstance. Lily had expected to pay off her debt with the inheritance, but now it could hardly be enough.

Lily was desperate and thought about a prosperous man who once admired and sought to marry her. She had declined because she knew she would have settled. Since circumstances had changed, she reconsidered marriage with him; however, he was no longer interested because her reputation had been tarnished. Yet, he knew about the damaging letters and the affairs of that particular woman who had ruined Lily, and he encouraged Lily to come out with the truth -- repairing her own reputation and "making her marriageable again." But because of her noble courage, she would not drag Selden's name through the mud.

Lily salvages my opinion of herself

By Book Two, Chapter Eight, I wrote: "Lily is a bigger person (even flawed) than all of us." She had declined in society, and yet, she refused to compromise her convictions. Not only was she alone -- she was invisible.
Hitherto her intermittent impulses of resistance had sufficed to maintain her self-respect.
Lily eventually resided at a boarding house and worked as a laborer, until that ended. And like Madame Bovary, she resorted to drugs to help her sleeplessness.

Reynolds: Mrs. Lloyd, 1775-76

Lily learned a lesson too late

In the final pages, Lily learned one simple lesson. She met a young working-girl whom she had once helped. The girl had married now and was a mother, and Lily had the opportunity to witness the "central truth of existence:" this young family was built in poverty, with faith and courage. They did not have the financial security of high society, but they were free to love each other and be happy.

In the end, she remained true to her word, and when her aunt's cheque arrived, she paid off all of her debts. She could have been happy with Selden, but she made her choice. This was the end for Lily. She will never have her life back.

A little soapbox

Though the demise of Lily is tragic, much of it was self-imposed. She complained about what it cost for [her] "to live on the rich":
--it's a privilege we have to pay for! We eat their dinners and drink their wine, and smoke their cigarettes, and use their carriages and their opera-boxes and their private cares -- yes, but there's a tax to pay on every one of those luxuries...the girl pays it by tips and cards too -- oh, yes, I've had to take up bridge again -- and by going to the best dress-makers, and having just the right dress for every occasion, and always keeping herself fresh and exquisite and amusing!
For Lily, her greatest fear was poverty; but it should have been fear of facing an angry God. I know that was not the point of the story, but I see it this way: man's problems are not caused by the discrepancy between rich and poor; man's problems are caused by his disobedience toward God and doing everything his own way. And that is why Lily was lost, indecisive, and obsessed with wealth. All of those people were lost because they lived life their way -- with gossip, adultery, covetousness, self-preservation, greed, materialism, lying, slothfulness, self-worship -- we know our ways are self-destructive; but there is a better way.

Nonetheless...

The House of Mirth is an intriguing and calculating story - never a dull chapter. The characters are believable, even as caricatures of society. And Edith Wharton is an exceptionally mature writer. She knows the human heart thoroughly and, I'm afraid, does not exaggerate or hide any rotten detail at all.

This is my second read of House of Mirth, and on some pages, I ran out of room in the margins to add any new notes.

If you have only considered reading House of Mirth or any other Edith Wharton, what are you waiting for? Do it now. You will not regret it. ( )

My favorite of all her novels. ( )