I read this book as part of a package with [b:Hatchet|50|Hatchet (Brian's Saga, #1)|Gary Paulsen|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1347443751s/50.jpg|1158125] for our reading club. Both are survival stories, yet very, very different. This one is far the more literary and realistic.

As the parent of six adopted children, this book often made me feel like I was looking in a mirror or reliving the past through the eyes of my kids. The frustrating social workers and counselors who just don't get it, the perspective from the children who are sure that "we " don't get it and the impact bad choices of both adoptive and birth parents make on the kids who are caught in the middle.

The story begins in the waiting room of a hospital where Angela, T.J.'s sister, has been taken, unconscious, and presumably suffering from a serious concussion; we're not sure why. The scenes shift between "now", "then", and "in-between" as T.J. looks through his lifebook (a scrapbook of memories prospective adoptive children are urged to create before adoption) and the pictures conjure up memories: his birth mother's problems with responsibility and life, some happy times, many difficult periods, and the protective relationship that T.J. develops for his younger sister. We see everything through the filter of T.J.'s memory: his conflicts within himself, torn between the love for his birth-mother and his loyalty to her and his protectiveness toward his little sister whose difficulty in coping we also view through T.J.'s eyes. Each child develops his own coping mechanisms, Angela's being origami paper cranes that she symbolically links to her desire for a parakeet, but an uncaged one, and that the paper cranes can never die. There are some very vivid and intense scenes that portray the fear and anxiety children must feel.

Among the many very positive reviews are a few who were disappointed by the book's realism. I find that interesting., if anything, the book isn't realistic enough. I guess we all like happy endings; yet we argue, especially in fiction aimed at teens, that what they read should be less gritty, less dark, and, in other words, less real. As someone once noted, we forbid our children to read about the lives they live.

One might argue I'm biased. Well perhaps I am a bit too close to the story, but as I have noted elsewhere, my general policy with regard to books I don't like or which I don't feel are worth reading is not to review them. This book is definitely worth reading.

Considered one of the 2012 Best Books of the Year for ages 9-12 by the Bank Street College of Education. http://www.bnkst.edu/cbc/best-books-year-2012/ ( )

I always have such a hard time rating books that deal with tough subject matter. I settled on three hearts because it was well written, the characters well developed, and because the story was one worth telling. The thing that held it back from a higher rating for me was just how upsetting and sometimes depressing the storyline was.

The book opens with the main character T.J, sitting in a hospital waiting room wondering if his little sister Angela is going to survive. We know she fell but we don’t know how or why.

The book included three main timelines: Now, Then, and Between Then & Now, with a few additional sections (Between, Almost Now…) near the end. I found this writing style to be very affective for this story.

T.Js time at the hospital are the “Now” pieces. The author uses these parts to create tension and suspense as to what happened to Angela and if she is going to be okay. It’s not until the last few pages that we get the answers.

In the “Between” sections, T.J. and his sister Angela have just been adopted by a couple named Marlene & Dan. This is yet another smaller mystery because in the “Then” the kids are still living with their birth mother, so the whole-time you’re also wondering what happens to her that lands the kids in the foster care system.

My biggest issue with this book was that it was upsetting to read about a mother who cared so little about her own children. The mother (Celia) is a single mom who can’t hold a job (not because she can’t get one, but because she always quits), and she goes through many boyfriends (most of which are bad news). The thing that upset me most was when one of her boyfriends would treat the kids like dirt and she just stood there and watched. At one point, I was so angry I wanted to jump into the book and shake some sense into her! The boyfriend has just flushed her 7-year-olds head down the toilet repeatedly and she blames the daughter for misbehaving, not her brute of a boyfriend! (There was practically steam coming out of my ears at this point.)

In the end, I’m glad I read this book. Despite it’s upsetting subject matter it was a good story, but I say that as a 21-year-old. However, this is meant to be a middle grade book for ages 10-15. I guess it all depends on the person, but this is definitely not the kind of book I was reading at 10 OR 15. It’s some heavy stuff for a 10 year old to handle in my opinion. I would recommend if for the oldest end of that and say 15 +. ( )

TJ's little sister Angela is unconscious in the hospital. While he waits, he looks at a photo album that reminds him of all the circumstances--their mother, foster care, past schools, etc.--that have brought them to this point. A rewarding read if you can stay with it! ( )

It's the lyrical nature of Sheila Kelly Welch's writing that kept me engaged throughout my reading of WAITING TO FORGET. I found this title hard to categorize -- flashing back and forth between a hospital waiting room, where T.J. waits with his adoptive parents to find out if his little sister is okay, and the past T.J. spent with a neglectful mother, it's definitely a bit dark for middle grade. And as a YA novel, it's hard to say whether a teen would be engaged by such a young character -- T.J. is around 13 in the waiting room, but is much younger in the memory scenes, which make up most of the story.

That said, it's a compelling book -- T.J.'s story, though often tragic, is filled with a joyful hope. The love he feels for his sister, and even the mother who has failed him so many times, radiates through the impeccable voice that Welch has written. WAITING TO FORGET is certainly an unusual book, but absolutely one that will find its audience among fans of tenderly-written hard luck story. ( )