Rating: 3* of five

Again a reminder that the 1987 film is what I'm reviewing, not the Fleming story.

Ye gods and little fishes. That's some uninteresting Bond-age. Fell asleep twice. Bratislava? Vienna? Can anyone tell the difference? The plot's very much as always, and that's not a problem if the series has its hooks into you. But the problem with this film is the 1980s-ness of it. What was wit in 1967 is sarcasm in 1987. What was seductive in 1967 is sexual harassment in 1987.

Highlights: this film's blond henchrat is seen nearly naked, and in period tight jeans, and is generally quite toothsome. The first Aston Martin since 1965 is a V8 Volante, nice to look at, but really? In Cold War Czechoslovakia? No, no one'll notice that among the Skodas and Tatras. As always, the scenery is lovely, is well-photographed, and has a well-bred exoticism. Q is his old, ornery self, and a comic treasure of a character.

Lowlights: The new Moneypenny is ridiculous as a smart, sexy helpmeet...she's dull. The new M is whiny and unfun. The script is leaden. The section in Afghanistan is a bit, well, wrong-headed in light of today's events there. Dalton as Bond is very 1980s: slight, stylish, forgettable, and quickly dated. Joe Don Baker as the baddie is just ridiculous.

WTF Moments: Riding down a snowy hill in a cello case, which supposedly held a Stradivarius cello that Bond waves about and allows to be shot. Pretty blonde cello-girl's sudden discovery of fighting prowess, flying prowess, and ruthlessness in Afghanistan. Uhmmm, no. And not least, A-ha, the Norwegian pop sensation/one-hit wonder, to do the title song? Not The Pretenders?! Their two tunes were much more memorable. But none of them had that something extra that "View to a Kill" had.

After this entry, no further explicit connection to Fleming's own stories was seen until Casino Royale, the Daniel Craig reboot of the series. Bond was, and remains, a cultural icon. But he got lost in the desert of creative exhaustion for a long time. ( )