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Amarli senza se e senza ma: dalla logica dei premi e delle punizioni a quella dell'amore e della ragione (2005)

di Alfie Kohn

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7631629,364 (4.18)6
One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting-including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.… (altro)
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    Learning All The Time di John Holt (hiphoptiff)
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    How Children Fail di John Holt (hiphoptiff)
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    Better Than School: One Family's Declaration of Independence di Nancy Wallace (hiphoptiff)
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    Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy di Naomi Aldort (hiphoptiff)
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    Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family--and the World di Jen Lumanlan (msdeee)
    msdeee: Both Parenting Beyond Power and Unconditional Parenting provide support for treating children as whole people. Both books recognise and teach acceptance of the uniqueness of individual children (parenting the child in front of you). Both books emphasise the role of parents as the modellers of the values they wish their children to cultivate.… (altro)
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» Vedi le 6 citazioni

Wow. Sounds like a classic work on the craft of parenting. Marking it for a re-read in the next few weeks. ( )
  Santhosh_Guru | Oct 19, 2023 |
Brilliant. Having grown up with one parent who used physical/verbal punishment and another who used conditional love (offered as praise when good grades or proper behaviour was given on my part) I was so thankful for this book which just strengthened and reaffirmed to me that the style of parenting I use (unconditional love, respect and acceptance) was the right choice to enable my child to grow up happy and loved. ( )
  spiritedstardust | Dec 29, 2022 |
Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from doing to to working with parenting including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. Selected Reading Questionnaire.
  ACRF | Sep 26, 2022 |
Like most parenting books, also applicable to teaching. I think it will help me more in the classroom than as a parent. ( )
  leahsusan | Mar 26, 2022 |
Eye-opening and thought-provoking; a good, if tough, read. I’m glad this was recommended to me, and now I highly recommend it myself. ( )
  waxflower | Aug 8, 2018 |
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One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting-including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

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