Happy Mothers Day inventory

Like the #MeToo moment, perhaps it’s time for each of us to recall our own reproductive histories.

Three live births
Three early miscarriages, two requiring D&C follow up
Two abortions
One rape in 1972. The ER doctor offered me the morning after pill; and my Roman Catholic mother had no objections. ( She, who had to get church permission for a hysterectomy after 11 children.)

Have a blessed day.

PS: I went to a group of midwives in Bethesda, MD in the 1980s for the third birth. One of their intake questions was asking about rape or sexual assault history. I had never been asked that by any medical personnel before or since.

Thanks for sharing this.

I have never been pregnant that I know of, and I hope to escape into menopause without ever having been. I appreciate the work of all those second-wave feminists who made noise until the pill became widely available. It has really helped my life.

My mother took DES, so more miscarriages than I can count bc throughout my early twenties I was pretty sloppy with contraception, relying on my messed up insides to clear everything out in time.

Serial rape as a child.

Never really wanted to carry a pregnancy to term and never did. Sometimes regret that, then come to my senses. One brief, psychosomatic pregnancy. His name would have been Julian and he'd be 29 now.

Adding my thanks.

Can we envision each miscarriage being a police matter?

>4 2wonderY: That would be horrifying. I am sure the police don't want this either. Honestly I would quit the police rather than do that work.

>3 susanbooks: I too am a DES daughter. Never had a child. Sometimes I regret not adopting but too late for that. Best wishes, k4k

>5 krazy4katz: I'm still holding the door open to adopting an older kid. I've never felt financially safe enough to do it, but I dream of lottery winnings (though I never play) or fabulous legacies from people I've never met.

As a lesbian my history and experience is somewhat different from most of those here, so let me just say I'm listening.

I was hoping the thread wouldn’t be seen as tabu or offensive. I am so riled up and angry at this offense against all women.

I believe the numbers of us that fall under new criminal proposals will be unbelievable. I’m ready to join an underground movement if I can find one.

>8 2wonderY: I'm grateful for this thread. We all need to be thinking about these things now. And given that Roe v Wade was decided based on the right to privacy, gay marriage, contraception, interracial marriage, sodomy, all of that can be up for grabs based on the draft opinion. We're in trouble in so many ways. I'm past menopause but I identify as a lesbian now so I'm still feeling personally threatened by the possibilities.

Why do the Dems never pressure the supposedly pro-choice Repubs to stand up & do something? Or, more concisely, why do the Dems never do something?

>8 2wonderY:

I'm sure no one belonging to the group could possibly find this thread tabu or offensive.

I'm not American so my experience has little relevance for women in the States; I can only say that I wish my one experience with abortion thirty years ago were standard everywhere. I had very irregular periods which contraceptives didn't much affect, so when I missed one likely date I gave it another ten days or so. At about six weeks from the previous period I called the maternity clinic and got an appointment for the very next day. The next day pregnancy was confirmed, I said I wanted to abort, and they gave me a date the next week. There were a few other women, the operation was performed under general anesthesia. I woke up on cue, my partner collected the antibiotic treatment I was supposed to take for another week, and we took a cab home. I felt no pain and was up and busy from the next day.

There were no bills, no charges, no bullying from the doctor or the nurses. There were no masses of insane anti-abortion protesters (at the time I had no idea such things even existed). It was as ordinary as going to a dentist.

And this is how it should be, if it must be, for everyone.

So, I wrote to Senator Chuck Schumer yesterday.
I don't know if you will agree with me on this, but the bill on abortion rights failed in the Senate today because a Democrat, who shall not be named, refused to vote for it. Also Senators Lisa Murkowsky and Susan Collins, who are pro-choice Republicans, voted against it. It seems they have an alternative bill that Senator Schumer refuses to consider. As far as I understand it, the only difference is that the Murkowsky/Collins bill allows people who do not believe in abortion to refuse to perform them. I don't think that is unreasonable. There will still be plenty of people who will perform abortions and it will still give women their freedom to choose what happens to their body.

I told Senator Schumer he should bring a vote on the Murkowsky/Collins bill. He still won't get that Democrat but he will gain 2 Republicans. A good deal.

As has often been said to me: "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good."

What do you think?

I think the alternative bill is fine as long as it goes for all other medical conditions. If doctors don't "believe in" appendectomies, then they shouldn't be made to perform them. If doctors don't believe in emergency trauma surgery, then they shouldn't perform it and should instead let gunshot patients bleed out in the ER. See how ridiculous that is? The Republican bill is another way to separate abortion from simple health care. If I have an ectopic pregnancy and an abortion is the only thing that's going to save my life, fuck what the doctor "believes in." If they don't believe in women's health care, why'd they go into that specialty? If they don't "believe in" performing their job why are they even on staff? Should the next bill be for white supremacist doctors who don't believe in treating people of color? Or doctors who don't believe in treating trans patients (which is a very real thing)?

On the other hand, if there was a bill that made it completely illegal to save the lives of Mitch McConnell, Kavanaugh, Alito, Clarence Thomas, et al I'd completely support that.

That reminds me of an OB-GYN I went to precisely once. He was at least candid about his philosophy. He thought women’s reproductive organs were troublesome and should be removed once she was done bearing children.

Well, they are indeed troublesome! They make the womenfolk all moody and such. Really, do we need the women at all if they aren't bearing any more children?

>12 susanbooks: Just so. A while back, a pediatrician in Michigan made news when they refused to treat the child of a lesbian couple because they didn't believe in supporting homosexuals.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/19/pediatrician-refus...

>12 susanbooks: >13 2wonderY: >15 southernbooklady: If you would like to write Chuck Schumer, here is a link:
https://www.schumer.senate.gov/contact/email-chuck

>16 krazy4katz: Thanks. I will.

>12 susanbooks: I guess my concern is to get something on the books right now that will help most, if not all, women. Planned Parenthood is available in most places to help women and in truth, I doubt that many physicians are against abortion — although admittedly I do know one who is an ob-gyn.

And to be honest, it won't be the same for other conditions because religion doesn't play a role in people's view of treating gunshot wounds etc. However, we have to keep our eye on the goal: keep abortion legal even if it means finding a different doctor in order for women to remain free and in control of their bodies. We have to get something done. Again: "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good."

Regarding your statement about Mitch McConnell et al….I'm tempted to agree — trying to hold off! :-)

>17 2wonderY: Unfortunately, I learned this today on the Pro and Con discussion about abortion:
https://www.aclu.org/sites/default/files/field_document/healthcaredenied.pdf#pag...

Now I am not sure passing the Murkowski/Collins bill is the right thing to do. I was shocked by the information regarding the prevalence of Catholic hospitals and how they are allowed to place religion above health care.

ETA: I wrote Senator Schumer again and explained why I changed my opinion. Sigh...

This NYT opinion piece seems to have a lot of resources referenced. If you hit a paywall, let me know and I will copy some of the content.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/24/opinion/abortion-roe-activism-how-to-help.htm...

It’s by Robin Marty, author of The New Handbook for a Post-Roe America

>20 2wonderY: Thank you! k4k

I managed to get a copy of Robin Marty’s book. My local Barnes & Noble had one copy. The clerks all nodded vigorously there and at the other bookshop I checked, that they need to stock more copies.

As a new resident of Kentucky, I’m researching organizations to become involved with. Kentucky is a ban state.

Georgian Jen Jordan, running for state AG, talks about her reproductive history:

https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2022/06/25/jen-jordan-georgia-heartbeat-bill...

Males just have no first hand conception of how complex and messy female reproduction is. And some women refuse to admit how little control many women have over their monthly cycles.