Lunacat's reading and other ramblings - The Happy Version, Part Sojjta (6)

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Lunacat's reading and other ramblings - The Happy Version, Part Sojjta (6)

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1lunacat
Mar 25, 2015, 10:03 am



I'm determinedly heading to happy. The sun is out, the anxiety is down to a dull roar, and I'm poking my head out of the cave and enjoying the warmth.

All happiness is welcome here. Fake it till you make it, right? Damn it, I'll MAKE the happy come.

2katiekrug
Mar 25, 2015, 10:34 am



Good to see you, Jenny!

3lunacat
Mar 25, 2015, 10:46 am

Yay, my first visitor of the happy thread. And I can think of worse ways to go than being crushed by happiness.

Here, have a bouncy lamb in return :)

4kidzdoc
Mar 25, 2015, 11:11 am

Hi, Jenny! Here's a happy video for your new thread.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=943003095744673

5Berly
Mar 25, 2015, 11:12 am

Hi Jenny! Your thread is off to a great start!

6kidzdoc
Mar 25, 2015, 11:14 am

You're never too young to learn CPR:

http://youtu.be/JRoSAkeV_Qc

7msf59
Mar 25, 2015, 11:59 am

Happy New Thread, Jenny. Hope you are feeling better. You sure seem to be thrashing me regularly at TC, so something must be improving. Grins...

8Ameise1
Mar 25, 2015, 1:52 pm

Happy new thread, Jenny. I love all your photos. Hope you feel better. Hugs xx

9jolerie
Modificato: Mar 25, 2015, 10:50 pm



Here's to your hoping your happiness spreads all over your thread and beyond. :D

Happy new thread, my friend!

ETA: I changed the gif so it wasn't so mouthy.... :)

10lkernagh
Mar 25, 2015, 10:09 pm

Happy new thread and Happy Jenny!

11ronincats
Mar 25, 2015, 11:26 pm

Happy New Thread, Jenny! Here's my contribution:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM

12AMQS
Mar 25, 2015, 11:30 pm

Happy, happy, happy new thread!

13PaulCranswick
Mar 26, 2015, 2:49 am

Jenny, wishing you a very happy new thread. Crushed by happiness is a good way to go I would think.

14lunacat
Mar 26, 2015, 4:26 am

Awww, thanks Friends. I'll be back to reply individually this afternoon, but it's lovely to see you here.

In the interests of being happy, I'm trying not to see the rain and high winds and focusing on that I've got a jumping lesson on Connie this morning. Which could be interesting in said weather. We'll see if I can keep the positive thinking even when I feel like a frustrated, drowned rat! :)

15alcottacre
Modificato: Mar 26, 2015, 4:48 am



I am working on this!

16lunacat
Mar 26, 2015, 9:55 am

>4 kidzdoc: That is a fabulous happy video Darryl, thanks! It's the face I make every time I get into bed, even when there aren't clean sheets there.

>5 Berly: Thanks Kim. I figure happy is as good a place to start as any.

>6 kidzdoc: Awwww, bless. Too cute. Not exactly effective but a pretty good attempt!

17lunacat
Mar 26, 2015, 10:02 am

>7 msf59: TC thrashing puts a smile on my face so by allowing me my wins, you are fundamental to the happy :)

>8 Ameise1: Getting there Barbara. In 'fake it till you make it' mode. I'll drag myself there kicking and screaming if that is what it takes.

>9 jolerie: Yay for a happy dance. I've been listening to a lot of music recently which isn't something I often do but its turning out to be therapeutic so happy dancing might be the next step.

>10 lkernagh: Thanks Lori! I'm feeling a bit more like myself so hopefully it will be a nice happy thread here.

>11 ronincats: Can't go wrong with a song titled Happy. Thanks for the link Roni!

18lunacat
Mar 26, 2015, 10:05 am

>12 AMQS: I think I'm at about a ha.... in happy happy happy but I'll keep working my way towards the rest of the letters :)

>13 PaulCranswick: We've decided that sugar is highly likely to be my cause of death, but I love it too much to be overly concerned. Crushed by happiness sounds a good alternative.

>15 alcottacre: Me too Stasia. I'll keep powering on through and hope I get there. I'm sure you will as well.

19lunacat
Mar 26, 2015, 10:12 am

This is my happy song for today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcrbM1l_BoI

20streamsong
Mar 26, 2015, 10:34 am

21lunacat
Mar 26, 2015, 3:12 pm

>20 streamsong: Thank you my friend! I saw the BBC programme where a lot of those animal friendships were looked at - they are so adorable.
________

This is another happy today. A fat ginger cat posing in famous portraits. As the owner of a fat ginger boy, these are fantastic.





More here:

http://distractify.com/pinar/fat-cat-art/?ts_pid=2

23lunacat
Mar 27, 2015, 8:23 am



Happy Friday People!

24msf59
Mar 27, 2015, 11:55 am

Happy Friday, Jenny! Hope you are doing much better. All crossables crossed.

25lunacat
Mar 27, 2015, 12:45 pm

>24 msf59: Getting there. Nowhere near as good as I've ever been but at least I'm taking baby steps which is more than I could manage recently.
__________

My happy last night: This girly came into our lives 7 years ago and was so terrified of life we thought she'd never get better. She was only about 14 weeks but didn't play, didn't purr, couldn't walk across the floor and would shake if you went near her. I don't think we touched her, apart from dragging her out from dangerous places, for the first six months we had her.

A LOT of TLC, time and endless patience, plus becoming a mummy to four gorgeous kittens (two of whom we still own) and this is the reward. She still won't let strangers set eyes on her though!

26ronincats
Mar 27, 2015, 1:11 pm

What a gorgeous girl, Jenny!! Hugs for both of you!

27kidzdoc
Mar 27, 2015, 1:33 pm

That's a great story and a lovely photo, Jenny! Thanks for sharing that with us.

I'm glad to hear that you're doing better, and I hope that things continue to improve for you.

28Crazymamie
Mar 27, 2015, 3:11 pm

Happy new thread, Jenny! Lovely cat photo - she's gorgeous!

29banjo123
Mar 27, 2015, 3:28 pm

Your kitty is so pretty! She looks like a combo of two of our boys, Francis and Banjo:



Glad that you are feeling a little bit better.

30maggie1944
Mar 27, 2015, 4:02 pm

I love it when skitterish kitties learn to trust at least a little bit. Quite the testament to how well you cared for her, and for her wee little ones.

31Berly
Mar 27, 2015, 5:02 pm

Happy Friday!!!

32nittnut
Mar 27, 2015, 6:11 pm

Happy Weekend! :)
I love a happy rescued animal story. Sigh.
Our term break is coming up, and my daughter has requested that she be taken to volunteer at the local animal shelter. So, we will be doing that, and I will be reminding her regularly that our rental doesn't allow pets... or we will both be wanting to bring everyone home.

33lunacat
Mar 27, 2015, 6:28 pm

>26 ronincats: Thanks Roni. She is an absolute stunner. And I love that she saves all her love and joy for her mummies (my best friend and I), and her daddy if we're not around! We adore our girly.

>27 kidzdoc: Thanks Darryl. Depression is such a ****ing killer. I hate hate HATE that even knowing I have it, knowing it is a battle, knowing what the symptoms are and where it takes you, I still get caught up and sunk by it. But I'll get there. At least I can hope that. I may not be there any time soon, but I have to believe I can force myself to that place one day. And good, loving friends like you are a big part of that.

>28 Crazymamie: Thanks Mamie. She is adorable. Can't beat our girl, especially when everything came after such effort.

A few of my favourite moments with our Luna girl:

Getting back out of bed at 1-2am to go and play with her. BestFriend and I would set alarms and come downstairs at that time, and Luna would be situated under our kitchen table. It was the time we could get closest to her, so we would sit on the floor and throw a string towards her again and again and again, every night for weeks. She'd watch it and look interested, but never go for it. Finally, she reached out a paw. Then she reached out a paw twice. After another month we got her pouncing on it, but only under the table. Now she is a little crazy loon and will play with herself, find scraps of nothing to pounce on, chase her own tail on the sofa.....we had to teach her how to play and now she is such a joy.

Teaching her to purr. After we finally got her remotely comfortable being around me, I would take her off to a quiet, dark place to give her a few cuddles. At first we had to drag her from under a piece of furniture and then sit quietly with her for ten or fifteen minutes at a time before letting her go on her way. The first day we ever heard her purr (after at least three months in the house), I'd taken her upstairs into a bedroom and was lying there in the dark gently rubbing her head, and suddenly I was aware of her tiny little purr. I text BestFriend and she came up and sat on the floor by the bed to hear it. It was an amazing moment.

Watching her with her kittens. We let her have kittens because we had homes for five or six, and she had four so it was fine. She was SO proud of her babies, so confident and brave in caring for them. She loved being a Mum so much. And the fact she 'asked' me to be her companion while she gave birth was incredible.

The night she went into labour, BestFriend and her husband were out, and for the first time ever, Luna came and voluntarily sat on my lap, so I knew something was up.

She'd been scouting out various places to give birth so at midnight-ish, I went to leave her alone downstairs and went up to bed. She followed me up, and pressed herself up next to me on the bed. Every time I put her in the cage we'd set up, or in a dark soft space, she'd come back on my bed and press right against my stomach. Eventually I spread two old towels and an old bed sheet on my bed and let her get on with it. I woke at 5am ish to hear the first peeps of her first kitten after she was born. Luna was still 'spooning me'. I was there for her through all four kittens.

Often during the first month of her kittens' lives, she brought them to me overnight, and put them to sleep next to me. I got used to sleeping very lightly and hearing when she deposited them so that I wouldn't roll on them. I'd wake up properly about 6am and find myself lying on my side, facing the center of the bed, with the kittens asleep against me and Luna on the other side so we were completely surrounding and protecting them.

To go from a terrified, traumatised stray to this.....to a cat who adores cuddles, who rolls over and chirps for us, who trusted me with her babies, who can be one of the only three people in the world who is allowed to touch her................it is such a privilege to be allowed to love our beautiful Luna.

For those who have never had pets, I don't think you can understand. I'm sure if I ever have children, I will see that this is a poor substitute for the love I'd feel for them, but for while I don't..........we sure appreciate our girl.

34lunacat
Mar 27, 2015, 6:35 pm

>29 banjo123: Awww, Francis and Banjo are very handsome. We have a stripy boy called Bobble who looks a LOT like Francis (assuming he is the one on the left of the screen) as he has those stripes. Luna is more 'mackerel' tabby.

>30 maggie1944: See the post just before for the in-depth story of our love for Luna. It's amazing how these animals can bounce back. I'd take a whole host of strays in if I had the room/money and it wouldn't upset our rather sensitive and neurotic bunch.

>31 Berly: Thanks Kim! It's been a good day and is looking to be a good weekend as well. Forcing positivity on myself seems to be helping in taking my baby steps so friends' help is spurring me on :)

>32 nittnut: Thanks! Weekend is looking to be good as I'm taking Connie out for her first proper competition of the year. Winter is over, YAY! I'd want to take all the rescues home as well. You can see above for just how wonderful it has been having Luna in our lives.

35Smiler69
Mar 27, 2015, 6:37 pm

Great to see you 'out and about', so to speak Jenny. That's an amazing story about how Luna had her kittens laying right besides you. I don't think I ever heard of a cat behaving like that, displaying so much trust in a human with her kittens during the birthing and immediately afterwards. I can certainly understand why you would feel incredibly privileged about the unique bond you have developed with her. Wishing you all the best. xox

36lunacat
Mar 27, 2015, 6:42 pm

>35 Smiler69: Thanks Ilana. I need to pop by, and to thank you for your PM's. I've been pretty useless and making myself reach out is...........well, you know. I'm trying to build on my 'momentum' of a new thread, but hopefully I'll feel able to write a proper response to your message soon. I really do appreciate your presence.

I've never heard of a cat doing it either, and I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it. Her having the kittens on my bed certainly wasn't the plan, and wasn't ideal given the various fluids involved! But that's what she wanted so I obliged. She's certainly a special cat.

37banjo123
Mar 27, 2015, 7:27 pm

Aww--what a sweet rescue story. Franny is actually the cat on the right of the screen---I thought his coat looked like Luna's. But Franny is a fierce boy, and Luna has a sweet face, more like Banjo's. Banjo's face is my profile picture, if you want to see---he is our NICE cat.

38msf59
Mar 27, 2015, 7:31 pm

Hi, Jenny! Thanks for the excellent Wolf Hall post. That was perfect. After just finishing the book, I am truly getting pumped.

39lunacat
Mar 27, 2015, 7:34 pm

>37 banjo123: I'll agree on both those counts - Luna has the mottled, blotchy coat of Franny but the face of Banjo with the biggest grin on her face and the slight white touches. So funny, while I was reading your message Luna came downstairs, jumped up on the sofa and rubbed herself against my laptop screen with a smug face, before wandering off again. Nice coincidence.

All our cats have good grins actually. The only one who doesn't is one of Luna's daughters who is pure grey and a little devil. She never grew much beyond 12 weeks so she's tiny, and we called her Mouse because she's small and grey like a mouse, but she is the devil cat. Utter spoilt nightmare (she's Daddy's cat so she gets away with murder).

40LizzieD
Mar 27, 2015, 7:55 pm

Jenny, I love your Luna stories!!! What a happy girl! Our Hilfy Bit came to us with her mother and brother, but she was the stand-offish one. She has really come around although she won't sit on my lap after ? years. We'd never heard her purr either, but we could see that she was purring. Last week DH had an inspiration and got out an old stethoscope - and sure enough - Hilfy purrs!!
I also can't wait for Wolf Hall. And I'm happy that you're here and putting up a fight. GOOD!

41Ameise1
Mar 28, 2015, 7:04 am

Hi Jenny, I'm very happy to see you posting and what a lovely Luna story. I wish you a wonderful spring weekend.

42lunacat
Mar 28, 2015, 8:34 am

>40 LizzieD: I love how cats have such different purrs from each other. I can always tell our cats with my eyes closed at night, just from the sound of their purr or the way they move. Our big boy Bobble has the quietest purr in the world but you can feel it when he's on your lap. However he makes up for it with the loudest snore!

I'm glad Hilfy is definitely purring :)

>41 Ameise1: Awww, what beautiful tulips! Thanks Barbara.

43Familyhistorian
Mar 28, 2015, 10:49 pm

Hi Jenny, love the Luna stories. Amazing that she had her kittens right beside you. Our Sally is a very shy torrie. She hides from everyone but my son and I. Because of this she is closer to us than our previous cats.

44lkernagh
Mar 29, 2015, 11:19 am

What a wonderful Luna story! I hope your weekend is happily purring along.

45nittnut
Mar 29, 2015, 3:08 pm

Love the Luna-kittens story! Reminds me of when our cat had kittens on my sister's bed. Only my sister was about 7 and woke up to the yowling of a cat giving birth and was convinced the cat was dying in her bed. Lol.

46lunacat
Mar 29, 2015, 4:38 pm

This was my happy today: first competition of spring. Sadly the weather was less than ideal, with it having to be stopped for 15mins because of torrential hail and driving, dangerous rain! So less than optimum conditions and we (I) made a couple of mistakes because of it. I was so cold and wet that everything, including underwear, had to be changed afterwards, and even riding round in what is basically body armour, while doing extremely high intensity full body exercise, didn't warm me up - I was still shivering when I finished.





47maggie1944
Mar 29, 2015, 5:25 pm

Are these photographs of you and Madam? Looking good, my friend. I am very impressed.

48lunacat
Mar 29, 2015, 5:38 pm

Yup, they are indeed Karen. Thankfully a photo can hide a multitude of less graceful moments :)

49lkernagh
Mar 29, 2015, 5:42 pm

Wonderful photos of you and Connie, Jenny!

50Berly
Mar 30, 2015, 1:33 am

Wow! You look amazing up there on your horse! How totally cool and impressive. That and the fact that you won the trust of Luna. That was a great story. Thanks for sharing it. I am totally allergic to animals (I have had a gerbil), so I am just going to live vicariously through you. Hope you don't mind. : )

51drneutron
Mar 30, 2015, 8:24 am

Cool! That last obstacle looks like it could double as a picnic table. But not during a competition, I suppose. I'd hate to have to keep ducking while trying to eat. :)

52Crazymamie
Mar 30, 2015, 8:27 am

Now I am picturing Jim sitting at that "table", trying to drink his coffee and read, but being constantly interrupted!

Morning, Jenny! Very cool photos!

53lunacat
Mar 30, 2015, 9:18 am

>43 Familyhistorian: I'm definitely closest to Luna out of all our cats because of our bond and how hard we had to work to get her to trust us. Second up is our ginger boy but that's just cos he talks a lot and is floppy, cute and impossible to resist. Plus I've got a soft spot for ginger cats :)

>44 lkernagh: Not much purring in my weekend because I wasn't at home much, but it was still very enjoyable. I'm suffering now though!

>45 nittnut: Luna never made a sound as far as I can remember, but I can imagine it would be a rather unnerving experience for a 7 year old!

54lunacat
Mar 30, 2015, 9:20 am

>49 lkernagh: Thank you. It was a good, if VERY wet, day and nice to be able to get out and about again. My poor body is complaining today, but I'll take the pain and exhaustion as it comes with good rewards.

>50 Berly: Go ahead with the vicariousness. Can I send you some vicariousness muscle pain to bring a certain realism to your experience? I can throw in some mud for good measure :)

>51 drneutron: The style of jump isn't called a picnic table as such, but it is known as a table, so you're not far off! It definitely wouldn't have been a nice place to grab a bite though - a little hair raising to say the least.

>52 Crazymamie: I do like the image of Jim with his coffee and paper, looking thoroughly frustrated at all the mud the horses were flying everywhere. It would make a cool advert for a racing newspaper as well.

55msf59
Mar 30, 2015, 9:43 am

Hi Jenny! Just checking in. I hope you are doing well and had a good weekend. I saw that you got some riding in. Smiles...

56DFED
Mar 30, 2015, 9:55 am

Shame the weather wasn't better for you both but you look great in the pics!!

57streamsong
Mar 30, 2015, 10:37 am

I loved the taming of Luna story. It sounds like you have quite a way with cats.

The jumping photos are awesome. From Connie's expression it looks like she was having a happy, too!

58lunacat
Mar 30, 2015, 11:14 am

>57 streamsong: She was a very happy girl, though not so much in the hail storm! I've never seen her load so quickly as when we made a dash back to the lorry in the worst of it, she was as desperate to be out of it as I was. I ended the day so so pleased with my Madam, which makes it all worthwhile :)

59kidzdoc
Modificato: Mar 30, 2015, 11:28 am

>46 lunacat: Nice photos, Jenny! Please tell me that Connie didn't have to jump over the car in that second photo as well. ;-)

60ronincats
Mar 30, 2015, 12:07 pm

Those are beautiful photos, Jenny, especially since they don't reflect how miserable the conditions were. I hope you are warm and cozy now!

61lunacat
Mar 30, 2015, 1:49 pm

>59 kidzdoc: We're not that good yet, but you can see in the picture below, it's easily possible for a horse with enough talent to jump the bonnet or back of a car.



>60 ronincats: Thankfully there wasn't as much rain when we were going round because of the delay in the competition. I've never had the situation before, where it has had to be halted for a certain amount of time because it's impossible to ride, but there is always the first time for everything and yesterday was certainly unusual!

62LizzieD
Mar 30, 2015, 2:31 pm

Wow! I'm impressed to pieces with your action pics - you're both beautiful! I have to agree about the picnic table although the bench looks a bit low for somebody with long legs!

63jolerie
Modificato: Mar 30, 2015, 3:13 pm

You look so badass, Jenny! :D

64jnwelch
Mar 30, 2015, 3:49 pm

^Agreed!

65alsvidur
Modificato: Mar 30, 2015, 4:12 pm

Connie has improved so much since you got her! You guys look so smart and together! Congrats on surviving the cold event.

66lunacat
Mar 30, 2015, 4:18 pm

>62 LizzieD: Yup, you wouldn't actually want to try and sit down on the table - even when people aren't jumping over it! It would have been rather wet yesterday too. And thanks, Connie is a stunner.

>63 jolerie: Thanks Val. I don't often feel or look badass so I'll take it as a compliment. The buzz of cross-country is amazing, like nothing else. One hell of an adrenaline boost.

>64 jnwelch: Thanks Joe. We keep trying!

>65 alsvidur: It's amazing what four years and a lot of work will do. If I hadn't made a fair few mistakes in that time, and known more when I first got her, she'd be even better now but it's great to feel her in her groove and enjoying her work. Well, the jumping part anyway. A couple of 'miscommunications' yesterday but nothing not easily fixed, which bodes well. Of course she was a nightmare trying to school today, but you can't have it all.

67Berly
Modificato: Mar 31, 2015, 2:06 am

>54 lunacat: Aw thanks! You just keep giving!! I originally looked up "Mud Covered Woman" images, but I can't post those here. (Yikes). So I settled for the G-rated option.

68humouress
Mar 31, 2015, 3:57 am

Hi Jenny - drive by wave. Glad to see things are looking up; just done a quick catch up of your thread. Stunning photos of you and Connie; you two look really good.

69lunacat
Mar 31, 2015, 8:30 am

>67 Berly: I'm glad my innate generosity is fully appreciated! If you'd like, I can also send the experience of trying to lead Connie to the field in 70mph winds this morning as well. It was...........interesting. That t-shirt is great.

>68 humouress: Things are indeed looking up. Thanks for the visit Nina!

70lunacat
Mar 31, 2015, 8:37 am

71maggie1944
Mar 31, 2015, 8:47 am

(-:

yup.

72Crazymamie
Mar 31, 2015, 8:49 am

Words to live by.

73Ameise1
Mar 31, 2015, 9:02 am

>46 lunacat: Oh Jenny, how beautiful even though you were shivering. I love you and Connie in action.

>70 lunacat: LOL, so very true.

Wishing you a most lovely day. Is it also so stormy at your place? Here it's like hurricane. When I'm outside I've to be very careful not to stumble.

74lunacat
Modificato: Mar 31, 2015, 9:05 am

>71 maggie1944: Isn't it just so?

>72 Crazymamie: I shall continue to live by them :)

>73 Ameise1: It is crazily stormy here. One minute bright blue sky, the next a downpour, and that wind?! I had to cling onto Connie this morning as we were walking to her field, just to keep upright in it. I hope you don't have any weather related incidents (or any incidents at all actually!).

75jnwelch
Mar 31, 2015, 11:04 am

Did Connie wear her rain gear?

76lunacat
Mar 31, 2015, 11:48 am

Connie definitely didn't wear her wet weather gear! The hat would definitely have been blown away, and I really don't fancy trying to get wellies on her. Think we'll just stick to her normal rug.

77lunacat
Mar 31, 2015, 11:53 am

I suspect she'll look something like this when she comes in this afternoon - thankfully I'm not in charge of her so she can be as muddy as she likes!

78lunacat
Mar 31, 2015, 12:45 pm

The madness of the weather this afternoon:

This was the view from the back of the house,



While at the same time, this was the view from the front.

79Ameise1
Mar 31, 2015, 12:56 pm

Same here, Jenny. Your photos are matching right my both side views at my home. It's absolutely crazy.

80lunacat
Mar 31, 2015, 1:55 pm

Isn't it ridiculous? We've got beautiful clear blue skies now and the wind has died right down (although still windier than normal) so hopefully things will calm down for you too.

81Ameise1
Modificato: Mar 31, 2015, 2:10 pm

Doesn't look so here and the forecast until Sunday is horrible.

82Kassilem
Mar 31, 2015, 8:24 pm

Happy is good. :) Love all the pictures here!

83maggie1944
Mar 31, 2015, 8:28 pm

And in the Seattle area we have sun shine, dark clouds, thunder storm noise, and down pouring rains.

84jjmcgaffey
Apr 1, 2015, 12:44 am

Well, we (and particularly my garden) could do with the down pouring rains... What we have is sunny, not particularly warm (nor particularly cold, unless you're in the shade with the wind blowing on you), and quite a bit of wind. Not _enough_ clouds!

85humouress
Modificato: Apr 1, 2015, 4:50 am

Have a tropical thunderstorm, then. This is the view (if I can manage to upload it) from Marina Bay Sands at the moment of the fly past for Mr. Lee Kuan Yew's funeral procession. The heavens absolutely sobbed.

86lunacat
Apr 1, 2015, 7:50 am

>81 Ameise1: I hope the forecast was wrong and it's brightened up for you now! Still windy here, but no rain at least.

>82 Kassilem: Thanks Melissa. There isn't any book talk occurring so I'm making up for it with photos!

>83 maggie1944: What fun for you, Karen. The thunder we had on Sunday that came with the hail was immense. I was very impressed with Madam as she didn't react much, but all the horses in the warm-up instinctively turned their backsides to the rain and we couldn't get them to turn round to go back to the lorries. Horses HATE having rain in their faces so will always turn their backs.

87lunacat
Apr 1, 2015, 7:54 am

>84 jjmcgaffey: We were glad of the rain as there hasn't been much to get the grass growing, but we could do without this wind. I absolutely loathe rain but try to remind myself it is very necessary. I wish we could schedule it to only rain during the night though. I hope you get some soon.

>85 humouress: Unfortunately the photo didn't show up but I just searched for similar and the heavens certainly showed their sorrow, didn't they? At least tropical rainstorms tend to be a little warmer than ours though.

88lunacat
Apr 1, 2015, 7:58 am

My happy for the day:

Please throw some celebratory streamers around........a miracle has occurred! I picked a book up last night and read 20 whole pages. It was a children's book that I loved when I was growing up, so not exactly taxing reading, but my concentration and energy have vanished over the last month and trying to pick up a book resulted in either high anxiety or me falling asleep. So 20 pages feels great. So ridiculous when I used to read a book a day, but I'll take it.

Also, I had hot cross buns for breakfast. That always makes for a better day.

89maggie1944
Apr 1, 2015, 8:31 am

better, and better. Great! I like Wednesdays, a bit, although I like Thursdays and Fridays even more.

90jnwelch
Apr 1, 2015, 8:58 am

Glad you were able to read a bit, Jenny. Hot cross buns sound like a tasty way to start the day.

I'm all for starting the weekend, per >88 lunacat:.

91swynn
Apr 1, 2015, 9:04 am

Hurrah for old favorites and thaws in reading freezes!

92lunacat
Apr 1, 2015, 9:07 am

>89 maggie1944: I quite like Wednesdays, always have, but Fridays are definitely much better. Thursdays end up feeling odd because the weekend still feels quite a long way away!

>90 jnwelch: They are indeed, especially hot from the oven and smothered in butter. I think I might go back to bed to read for another hour or so. Go me!

>91 swynn: It must be serendipitous as I bought the old favourite in a charity bookshop yesterday. It's the first time I've been in there in over a month, and the first time I've felt like reading, so it was perfectly timed.

93LizzieD
Apr 1, 2015, 9:46 am

Good news! Good news! I love to hear that the reading is coming back!!!

94Deern
Apr 1, 2015, 11:43 am

I've been reading here but not commenting for a while thanks to my wobbly internet connection at home and my exaggerated need for sleep lately (and now I do it from work, badmad me...).
Loved those pics of you and Connie and that Luna story brought tears to my eyes!

Weather is crazy here as well. 6 years ago those winds were a rare thing, but I can watch them getting more frequent and heavier every year. Last year we had thunderstorms all through summer and this year the storms are starting so early, it's really scary. So many of those beautiful old trees in the parks had to be chopped down already. And the temperatures do happy jumps of 15 degrees almost daily, so you never know what to wear.

I know hot cross buns only from Australia when I was there just before Easter in 2007. Loved them - maybe I should make some for the weekend! :)

95jjmcgaffey
Apr 1, 2015, 1:16 pm

>88 lunacat: Yay for reading thaws! It is such a lovely feeling...

And now I'm craving hot cross buns. Hmmm. Do I have a good recipe for those? Easter is coming, after all...

96LovingLit
Apr 1, 2015, 4:23 pm

>88 lunacat: hoorah! I good book sesh (20p or 100p) is a good book sesh. It can be so hard to concentrate sometimes, and its frustrating! Go you. I love the pics as I scroll through here :)

97lunacat
Apr 1, 2015, 4:29 pm

>93 LizzieD: Thanks. I'm not counting my chickens, as since various health things have come about, my attention span and ability to stay awake are lacking. But I'll take it as I can get it - I managed 10 more pages this afternoon!

>94 Deern: I'll join you with the exaggerated need for sleep. I woke up at 11am this morning, went back to bed at 2.30pm and slept 3-5pm. I'm now exhausted again and it's only 9.30pm. Can't be right?!

You should definitely make yourself some hot cross buns. No Easter is complete without them :) Let me know if you do!

>95 jjmcgaffey: Yay, another hot cross bun fan. I managed to hold off on starting to eat them until the middle of March this year so I didn't over-binge. They are very very addictive. I hope you can have some this weekend.

98lunacat
Apr 1, 2015, 4:31 pm

>96 LovingLit: I'm hoping this is the start of some decent reading, but not holding my breath. I think children's books might be the way to go for the moment. That, or nonsense slush reading! Thanks for the hoorah - most appreciated.

99LovingLit
Apr 1, 2015, 4:37 pm

^I am reading W A Series of Unfortunate Events right now and for a kids book, it is quite scary and sad! The kids are orphaned in the first few pages, and as the title suggests, it doesn't improve all that much after that. So. Steer clear of that particular kids book on your travels!!
Chipping away at the ones you love though, that is good :)

100Familyhistorian
Apr 1, 2015, 9:57 pm

Mmm, hot cross buns. I need to get some more before Easter is here. Good to hear that you are reading again.

101nittnut
Apr 2, 2015, 1:36 am

Awesome photos of you and Connie jumping. Even though you were wet and cold, it's got to feel good to come through an event in challenging weather. :)
Hooray for enjoying a book! Who cares what it is, as long as you're enjoying it. I'm always up for some nonsense reading, especially when I don't feel well or I'm tired.

>99 LovingLit: My kids have read/listened to A Series of Unfortunate Events. We listened to them in the car for a while, but I am pretty sure I reached my limit after The Reptile Room. I don't remember anything after that. Low tolerance for endless misery. Lol

102lunacat
Apr 2, 2015, 9:51 am

>99 LovingLit: Thanks for letting me know to avoid that series then, Megan. I would have done anyway, due to the author's racist comments last year, but that is just another reason to steer clear. I finished my children's book last night and picked up a retelling of Grimm's fairy tales by Philip Pullman - don't know why I didn't think of short stories before, as it suits my concentration very well.

>100 Familyhistorian: I just finished the last in the packet, so I feel a stop at a supermarket for another batch might be in order.

>101 nittnut: I think I'm going to be sticking with nonsense reading for a while so I might as well embrace it. I definitely enjoyed revisiting a childhood favourite, and would do it with more books if they were here instead of still at my mum's. Oh well.

103lunacat
Modificato: Apr 2, 2015, 9:58 am

My happy for the day:

After a mediocre night's sleep, I was still able to drag myself out of bed to go and do Madam rather than texting a friend to get her to do her, which gave me a small amount of satisfaction. And then meant I felt fully justified in having a nap from 12-2pm! Our cat Bobble, who NEVER comes into my room, joined me in bed as well, which was a nice treat.

And I finished a book last night:

Harry and the Wrinklies by Alan Temperley, which is very silly fun involving some elderly criminals, a few heists, and a corrupt judge thrown in for good measure. Eccentric but enjoyable.

I also picked up Grimm Tales: For Young and Old in my local charity shop on Tuesday which I started today. I can't get the right touchstone to work, but it's the retelling of various Grimm fairytales by Philip Pullman. He goes to the heart of each story so that you feel you're reading the 'unadulterated' version, and then provides details of similar stories in other folklores, and gives a half page comment on each tale. Fascinating so far.

104lunacat
Apr 2, 2015, 10:02 am

I put this on Paul's thread yesterday, but feel it sums me up over the last month or so as well. Plus........well..........wombats!

105Familyhistorian
Apr 2, 2015, 4:07 pm

Yes, hot cross buns - I have to go and pick some up after work. Love the wombat graphic!

106lkernagh
Apr 3, 2015, 6:51 am

Stopping by to get caught up and happy to see you are back reading! Yay! Hot cross buns.... I haven't indulged yet this year. Must remember to either pick some up at the store or attempt to make some.

What a cute name for a cat - Bobble. Here Bobble!

Wishing you a wonderful Easter weekend, Jenny!

107msf59
Apr 3, 2015, 7:19 am

Happy Friday, Jenny! I hope your good spirits outweigh the bad. And damn those wombats anyway!

I finished and LOVED Bring up the Bodies.

108lunacat
Apr 3, 2015, 9:54 am

>105 Familyhistorian: I figure it's useful to have something to blame, even if it is the wombats :)

>106 lkernagh: Bobble's full name is Bobble Cat. Like bobble hat. We have a weird sense of humour. We named another cat Mouse, so who knows what goes through our minds. I'll be picking up some more hot cross buns today I think, and if the weather isn't too awful, I should have a nice Easter. I hope you have a good one too.

>107 msf59: I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it, Mark. Two days to go for Wolf Hall for you in the US I think? It's hard to be angry with the wombats so hopefully I'll find all my mojo soon.

109lunacat
Apr 3, 2015, 2:38 pm

I finished another book, this time an audiobook of 19hrs 27mins. I've mostly listened to it while riding and driving, so it's taken a while.

The Book of Strange New Things worked well as an audiobook, though it took a while to get into. The basic plot is of Peter, a Christian missionary, leaving Earth to work for a mysterious and never much elaborated upon corporation called USIC who have set up on another world. He leaves behind his wife, Bea, but corresponds with her via an email type system.

It's slow to start as the reader isn't given a huge amount of information at the start, but the reveal is done gradually, as Peter says goodbye to his wife, travels, lands on Oasis and meets his new 'flock'. There is a lot of Biblical reference and evangelical type commentary, but its balanced with his, and particularly his wife's, battles with their faith as things begin to go wrong at home and he finds himself trying to learn the ways of the very mysterious local life, while his wife deals with changing situations at hime.

The frustrating, and skillful, part is that despite the book being long and sometimes too wordy, the author doesn't get bogged down in explaining every little thing and giving details about the past, or the current infrastructure, things like that. The reader is left to figure out the clues, and build their own story from them.

This is better novel than The Crimson Petal and the White, which suffered from too little plot for the length. However, he is still a very wordy author so be prepared to have to get stuck in. And Peter's back story never quite rings true. There is also some fairly explicit profanity, and an animal scene that I could definitely have done without. I hate authors using animals to make us feel. It's pointless, and just puts me off.

However, all in all it was an enjoyable read with some great world building, interesting characters, and a good mix of techniques used to move the story along. I nearly considered buying a Kindle copy when I only had 5 hours left of listening, as I was that keen to know how it ended.

Next up on audio is Stonehenge by Bernard Cornwell.

I'm still on my Firefly binge as well (am on my third successive watch of the series in the last month).

110banjo123
Apr 3, 2015, 2:44 pm

Hooray for the return of reading mojo!

111lunacat
Apr 3, 2015, 2:45 pm

>110 banjo123: Thanks for another Hooray! I'm worryingly excited by it. Though I didn't manage a 'words' book last night or today, I did at least get some listening in so my brain isn't turning to mush quite yet.

112kidzdoc
Apr 3, 2015, 3:48 pm

Great review of The Book of Strange New Things, Jenny!

I'm glad to see that your reading (and reviewing) mojo is coming back.

113lkernagh
Apr 3, 2015, 5:18 pm

Wonderful review of The Book of Strange New Things, Jenny! I loved Crimson Petal and the White when I read it, but I must confess that I read it a number of years ago at a time when I had to provide reception relief coverage at the company I worked for at the time. I was unable to bring any of the work I did to reception as it was usually of a confidential nature so I was allowed to cover reception reading a book while answering calls and receiving walk in visitors. Under those reading conditions, the lack of plot was a bit of a bonus. ;-)

114lunacat
Apr 3, 2015, 5:21 pm

>112 kidzdoc: & >113 lkernagh: Thanks for the review kudos. Ironic seeing as I did it while sleepy and listening to another book, and it wasn't really meant to be a review, more of a few random comments as I didn't feel right being pleased with myself for finishing it while ignoring whether it was good or bad!

Lori, I can see how any book of a suitable length, but lacking plot, would be ideal. I'd love a job like that, but I don't want to deal with actual people so maybe it's not right for me after all.

115cameling
Apr 3, 2015, 6:46 pm

Whew... just managing to catch up on your thread, Jenny. Love the pics and you and Connie both look incredible!

Great review of The Book of Strange New Things. I've had that in my TBR Tower for a while .. maybe I should move it up a rung or 3.

I need to get some hot cross buns tomorrow.

116jolerie
Apr 4, 2015, 1:50 am

Lovely to see you reading and reviewing again, Jenny!

I have my eye on The Book of Strange New Things on my WL and will get to it at some point. I have so many OTHER books that there is no rush at all. Really no rush...ha!

Hopefully more good mojo coming your way. :)

117Ameise1
Apr 4, 2015, 7:26 am

Hi Jenny, I wish you Happy Easter.

118lunacat
Apr 4, 2015, 5:27 pm

>115 cameling: It was definitely a good book Caro, even with the wordiness. There were times I wished I was reading rather than listening so I could skim the verbosity slightly, but in some ways it was better, the way it was eked out. I hope you get your hot cross buns - they've been my breakfast/lunchtime staple for a couple of weeks now. I put it like that because I don't like eating in the morning so, no matter what time I get up, about 2pm is my usual first meal.

>116 jolerie: Bring on the good mojo Val, I'm needing all I can get. :)

>117 Ameise1: Thanks Barbara, and a happy Easter to you too!

119lunacat
Apr 4, 2015, 5:33 pm

It's going to be a busy couple of days now, which for a hermit/recluse like me will be rather exhausting!

I'm getting up at the ungodly hour of 7am (on a SUNDAY no less) tomorrow to take Madam cross country schooling at a venue about an hour from here. It's just practicing but it's a great way of working on all the things you need to improve on, and being able to jump the same obstacle multiple times to get it 'right'. And you can attempt things you might not in a competition environment and see if you're ready to take things to the next level. I know we need to work on our steering, and our aim at narrow jumps as she has a tendency to run past them, so hopefully I'll be able to convince her to join in.

The friends I'm going with are going to take Connie home with them and I'm then off to a family lunch/afternoon, which will be good but taxing as I'm not great round huge numbers of people. It will be nice to see my cousins' children.

Then I have a competition on Monday that I'm off to on my own, no friends there for moral support, so hopefully it will go well and I don't end up injured enough that I need someone to come and bail me out! These things always flit through my mind.

And I have a lesson Tuesday, by which time Connie and I will be exhausted and left in a puddled heap. I foresee Wednesday as a day of nothing but sleep. Probably Thursday and Friday - my body doesn't like it when I push myself and I suspect I will end up with fevers, flu like symptoms and perhaps some tonsilitis thrown into the mix, just as revenge for daring to have had fun. I'm stocked up on painkillers, ready for it!

120nittnut
Apr 4, 2015, 5:35 pm

Happy Easter!

121cameling
Apr 4, 2015, 7:03 pm

2pm is my usual first meal

*faints*
No way I would make it past 10am without eating breakfast .. and it doesn't even matter what it is that I eat (as long as it's not cereal or oatmeal) as long as I eat. Could be cold pizza, cold friend chicken, scrambled eggs on toast, beans on toast, pancakes, bacon sandwich....

122maggie1944
Apr 4, 2015, 7:06 pm

You do have a very busy few days ahead, and as I've just finished a few busy days I know what you mean about pushing it a bit too far. I have been very easy going today - a little picking up around the house, a small amount of cleaning in my bathroom (which I still need to finish), a nap, a trip to the grocery store, and a trip to the books store! Hooray! I love the bookstore: I bought George R.R. Martin's children's book The Ice Dragon and Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief. Shortly, I'm heading back to the bed to read The Ice Dragon as it looks like such good fun. Illustrated and only 120 pages, small pages at that.

Then I'm feeding the dogs, and fixing myself a steak! Yes, I am. I feel I deserve some good red meat after a busy and tough week. Next week is all off - the kids' Dad is staying home with them for Spring Vacation, and I declared myself off on vacation from the shopping job. I am also without housemates this coming week! The young woman is dog sitting for some friends, and her son is off on the adventure of finding some kind of work, or some kind of programs for homeless young men. Wishing him good luck! but I am so glad to not be sharing my space with anyone except the dogs, who love to keep me warm at night.

Tomorrow I've been invited to a "Widows and Orphans" potluck Easter supper. Good food, good conversation, and no strain. It will be fun and I am taking small boiled new potatoes with good butter, chives and parsley. Could not be easier.

So: moral of my story - take good care of yourself in all the ways you can.

123jolerie
Apr 4, 2015, 10:24 pm

Have a wonderful Easter, Jenny!

124LovingLit
Apr 4, 2015, 10:36 pm

Happy Easter…as we sometimes say, I hear. Well, I don't normally think of it as a holiday for anything but chocolate…so. Anyway…..
Re: Lemony Snickett. I heard about his comments at the book awards last year, and already had 6 of his books lined up to read the kids! We will try this first one and see how we go I guess.

125Berly
Apr 5, 2015, 12:50 am

Happy Easter--hope you have fun with all your social business. Glad to see your brain is willing to accept audio books. Print is just around the corner!

126PaulCranswick
Apr 5, 2015, 11:39 am

Good luck to Connie and you this weekend Jenny. Stay in the saddle my dear for heaven's sake. xx

127Smiler69
Apr 5, 2015, 12:06 pm

Sounds like you're a busy gal today, and hope you're having fun. I haven't had hot cross buns in quite a while, and you're definitely making me want to have some. I'll have to send Pierre on and errand to find them somehow! I've had The Crimson Petal and the White on audio for several years now and really need to pick it up, as it came highly recommended, and now I hope I end up liking it more than you did. I've been wanting to get my hands on the UK edition of The Book of Strange New Things just because the cover is so gorgeous, even though it would likely take me ages and ages to ever actually pick it up and read it, so I'd probably end up framing the cover and putting it on my wall and getting the audiobook in the end! Glad to see you're doing so much better these days. xx

128jnwelch
Apr 5, 2015, 12:09 pm

Excellent review of The Book of Strange New Things, Jenny. I liked it better than The Crimson Petal and the White, too. He is a bit wordy, isn't he? But as you say, he didn't get bogged down in details he might have.

I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of Stonehenge. I've read lots of other Bernard Cornwells, but not that one. I just read he's coming out with a nonfiction book on Waterloo soon.

Hope you're having a good holiday weekend.

129humouress
Apr 6, 2015, 11:31 am

Hi Jenny. Hope you and Connie had fun today.

130lunacat
Apr 6, 2015, 1:42 pm

Sheesh. Absolutely exhausted. Thanks for all the messages though.

Unfortunately, the riding yesterday didn't happen as my lorry had a flat tire. I had a nice afternoon with the family though. And I took Connie out today (different vehicle) but fell off! Silly fall but now a) I'm a bit sore and b) it was quite frankly frustrating. Nothing ever works out too well over Easter - it's been a bit rubbish for the last few years - remind me next year to hibernate!

131maggie1944
Apr 6, 2015, 3:12 pm

Oh, dang! I'm sorry you had a fall. Epsom Salts in the bath, eh? And next year, well, just wait and see what is in the cards, I guess.

132Familyhistorian
Apr 6, 2015, 6:37 pm

But if you had hibernated then you wouldn't have had a nice afternoon with the family. I would have liked one of those but, except for my son, my family lives thousands of miles away.

133evilmoose
Apr 7, 2015, 12:20 am

I had a frustrating Easter too - so my commiserations (I didn't fall off anything, just came down with a cold on Friday that seems to be finally leaving me feeling a bit better in time to clean the house a bit on Monday evening, all ready to get back to work tomorrow). The horse jumping photos are rather excellent though.

134souloftherose
Apr 7, 2015, 7:31 am

Catching up Jenny. Love the story in >33 lunacat: of your rescue cat. Sorry to hear about the fall and your exhaustion - I hope it doesn't last too long.

135Ameise1
Apr 7, 2015, 12:26 pm

Oh Jenny, so sorry to hear about the fall. Get well soon. Hugs xx

136Whisper1
Apr 7, 2015, 1:32 pm

I want you to know how very much I appreciate your kind words of encouragement posted on my thread. You are a very special lady, and I am blessed by you!

137LovingLit
Apr 8, 2015, 5:00 am

>130 lunacat: please see >126 PaulCranswick:! Yikes, a fall. They hurt so much more as you realise you aren't a kid anymore. I hope you aren't still sore.

138humouress
Apr 8, 2015, 10:07 am

>137 LovingLit: *sigh* quite so.

Hope you're not too sore, and you recover quickly.

139jolerie
Apr 8, 2015, 2:19 pm

Oh no! I hope your fall wasn't too bad and you are back on the mend. A bowl of chocolate to sooth the rump perhaps?? :)

140nittnut
Apr 8, 2015, 3:18 pm

Ouch! Sorry. Hope you're reading rubbish and eating cheese and getting over your bruises.

141humouress
Apr 9, 2015, 6:06 am

>139 jolerie: To eat, drink or bathe in?

}0/

142msf59
Apr 9, 2015, 7:18 am

Hi, Jenny. Just checking in. I see you are a bit banged up. Feeling better?

143flissp
Apr 10, 2015, 1:12 pm

Hi Jenny, have just returned to LT, so thought I'd drop by to say halloooo! I've made a resolution not to try to catch up on missed posts, but skimming this one, it looks like you've had a hard year - glad things are perking up, bar Easter. I hope things continue to do so.

Here's some Cambridge ducks that I think you'll appreciate:

144DeltaQueen50
Apr 10, 2015, 4:52 pm

Hi Jenny, it's great to see you back positng. Let's hope happy is just around the corner for all of us!

145banjo123
Apr 10, 2015, 4:58 pm

Hope you are feeling better from the fall.

146Ameise1
Apr 11, 2015, 7:05 am

Hi Jenny, I wish you a wonderful weekend.

147lunacat
Apr 11, 2015, 12:50 pm

Thanks all.

Exhausting week with some significant emotional stress on top of a huge flare-up of whatever auto-immune stuff the doctors decide I'm suffering from this week. Fevers, aches, pains, headaches insomnia, non-restful sleep, massive amounts of nightmares, confused thoughts, lack of memory...........what fun!

I thoroughly appreciate all the visits though. They make me smile every time I pop by. Hopefully next week will be a little better.

148Crazymamie
Apr 11, 2015, 1:01 pm

Crossing my fingers that next week will be a better one and keeping you in my thoughts. I miss you, Jenny - sending you healing mojo and all of our love from the Pecan Paradisio.

149streamsong
Modificato: Apr 11, 2015, 1:03 pm

Very, very, sorry about the rough week.

I thought this was giggle-worthy and I hope you do, too. (Believe it's from Canada Horse). Personally, I need something about 24 hands ..... but you look good on Connie!

150maggie1944
Apr 12, 2015, 9:50 am

Ha ha ha! Janet found a great picture for all us horse lovers, and yes, it does make those girls look quite slim and attractive. But then again, perhaps it is because they are "girls".

I hope your exhausting week is over and done, and that health and comfort is yours, right now!

151jnwelch
Apr 13, 2015, 11:41 am

Sending you positive thoughts, Jenny. Sorry it was such a tough week.

152banjo123
Apr 13, 2015, 12:58 pm

Wishing you a happy week!

153Crazymamie
Apr 14, 2015, 9:05 am



Just dropping off some hugs from the Pecan Paradisio. Thinking of you.

154Fourpawz2
Apr 14, 2015, 11:00 am

Hi Jenny! Have just got caught up. (Have been hiding in my own cave trying to deal with my crap for the past several weeks.) I love, love, love your Luna story. How very sweet! Such patience you have and such great results. Luna looks (in the face) very much like my dear Willie did. I, too, love a ginger cat and went purposely to the shelter looking for one. There were several but Jane did not let me get close to them. She turns out to be sneaky-clever and very smart.

I am one of those who really liked The Crimson Petal and the White, but it was a number of years ago when I read it. I should dig it out again for a re-read. The Book of Strange New Things is on the wishlist. Hoping to find it cheap someday.

Hope you are mended from your fall and that the weather is co-operating. It's trying really hard, here in New England, to be Spring. Needs to try a little harder, but it is making good progress.

155Berly
Apr 14, 2015, 11:17 am

Hoping your autoimmune stuff quiets down soon and the bumps and bruised are fading. And I have decided I need a horse >149 streamsong: in my life to make me look better!!! Big hugs.

156lunacat
Apr 14, 2015, 11:37 am

Some sad news:

Our gorgeous guinea-pig Ralph died yesterday. He'd been off his food and drooling over the weekend, so I rushed him to the vet and they gave him an anaesthetic and did dental work. He made it through and came home, where we gave him huge cuddles and lots of love, and he died while being snuggled and stroked on the sofa in the early evening. We'll miss our wonderful boy, who had made it to at least 7 years of age (if not older as we don't know how old he was when we got him), and the house is definitely quieter without him.


157ronincats
Apr 14, 2015, 11:51 am

Oh, Jenny, so sorry to hear about Ralph--I know he was a huge part of your household! Sounds like he had a full and loving life.

158Ameise1
Apr 14, 2015, 12:24 pm

Oh Jenny, I'm so sorry to hear about Ralph. Thinking of you. Hugs xx

159katiekrug
Apr 14, 2015, 12:43 pm

:(

Well, poop. That sucks. I'm sorry, Ermintrude.

(Ralph was the name of my first dog, so I am doubly sorry, as the name is special to me.)

160banjo123
Apr 14, 2015, 12:49 pm

So sorry about Ralph! We used to have guinea pigs, so I know how sweet they can be. It sounds like you gave him a great life.

161LovingLit
Apr 14, 2015, 5:12 pm

Aw, wee Ralph! Sorry you dont get to have him with you any more. What a rough week or two you have had.

162DeltaQueen50
Apr 14, 2015, 5:29 pm

So sorry to hear about Ralph, Jenny, but it certainly sounds like he had a wonderful life.

163Fourpawz2
Apr 14, 2015, 5:40 pm

So sorry to hear about Ralph's passing, Jenny. At least he did not die alone.

164humouress
Apr 14, 2015, 6:11 pm

Adding my condolences, Jenny. He sounds like he had a huge personality.

165ronincats
Apr 15, 2015, 11:24 am

Just coming by with a hug for you, Jenny.

166nittnut
Apr 15, 2015, 3:50 pm

>156 lunacat: Sorry to hear about Ralph. The good part? He clearly led a secure, cozy, well-beloved life and a long one too. ((Hugs)).

167ronincats
Apr 17, 2015, 12:22 pm



Oh, Jenny, what a handsome duo! Young fellows, I assume. Are they brothers?

168jolerie
Apr 17, 2015, 2:53 pm

Sorry to hear about Ralph, Jenny!

Extra hugs to you.....

169SandDune
Apr 17, 2015, 5:08 pm

Sorry to hear about Ralph, but he clearly had a good life.

170Deern
Apr 17, 2015, 9:05 pm

Very sorry about Ralph! As the others said - he had a very good life at least.
Back in Frankfurt I had two guinea pigs, one died aged 3, the other one made it to 7 as well*. Loved them and the noise they made all the time, they welcomed me with their piping before I could open the appartment door. You can't feel lonely with a gp in the house. :)

* I know they should be kept in pairs or more, but that second one clearly was a loner and much happier once the other gp had died.

171The_Hibernator
Apr 17, 2015, 10:23 pm

Sorry to hear about Ralph, Jenny! It's always hard to lose a pet. But as Nathalie said, at least he lived a life of love. That's really important. 7 years is a long life for a guinea pig, isn't it?

172Berly
Apr 18, 2015, 3:33 am

Sorry about losing your little guy. Hugs.

173humouress
Apr 19, 2015, 7:52 am

Hi Jenny, happy weekend. Hope things are going well for you.

We took the boys over to the RDA to have a look at dogs. Makes sense, doesn't it? You'll have to pop over to my thread, for a loooooong explanation :0)

174Crazymamie
Apr 19, 2015, 4:23 pm

Oh, Jenny! So sorry to hear about Ralph. Thinking of you and sending you all of our love.

175jnwelch
Apr 20, 2015, 11:54 am

My sympathy re Ralph, too, Jenny. Hope you're doing okay.

176Whisper1
Apr 20, 2015, 5:43 pm

>156 lunacat: Oh, Jenny, I am so sorry for your loss. I send gentle hugs!

177evilmoose
Apr 23, 2015, 3:36 pm

Hola Jenny - I've not been about much, but sending you hugs and a unicorn.

178Ameise1
Apr 25, 2015, 8:41 am

Thinking of you, Jenny and sending you a load of positve vibes.

179lkernagh
Apr 26, 2015, 11:36 am

Sorry to read about Ralph. Hugs for you. My nephews have two guinea-pigs and it is fun to watch the guinea-pigs become very animated - a lot of chatter coming from them - whenever the fridge door opens or when the older nephew comes home.

180humouress
Apr 26, 2015, 9:56 pm

>149 streamsong: Ah think ah need me a draft.

Hi Jenny; checking in.

181katiekrug
Apr 27, 2015, 11:24 am

Miss you, Ermintrude.

182cameling
Apr 27, 2015, 12:37 pm

183flissp
Apr 27, 2015, 1:29 pm

Sorry to hear about Ralph Jenny - although it sounds like you gave him a pretty good life and a pretty long one for a guinea pig (and if we have to die, to die whilst being cuddled is a pretty good way to go).

184jolerie
Apr 27, 2015, 7:10 pm

Thinking of you Jenny and hope you are well, my friend.

185humouress
Apr 28, 2015, 11:50 am

>181 katiekrug: Ermintrude?

186katiekrug
Apr 28, 2015, 6:46 pm

>185 humouress: - Long story... Not sure I actually remember it now!

187Crazymamie
Apr 29, 2015, 9:44 pm



Me, too! Missing you, that is.

188The_Hibernator
Mag 2, 2015, 12:46 am

Happy weekend!

189PaulCranswick
Mag 4, 2015, 10:08 am

As a MIA just returned I am saddened to see you have gone AWOL in the interim. The group is much better with you in it, Jenny. Hope you are back amongst us soon. xx

190lunacat
Mag 4, 2015, 6:05 pm

I miss you all.

I'm just miserable at the moment. I shouldn't be - I'm off to Rome on Wednesday, and I'm desperately keeping up a 'happy' front in the presence of others, but there is all sorts of S**T (yes, with capitals) going on in my head that I'm not dealing with well. Some of it is to do with the past, some with the present, some with family stuff. I dunno.

I do miss you all but there are so many elements to things at the moment it's hard to ask for help for just one problem. There isn't one thing that brings me to this place and there isn't one story I could tell that would help in getting me out of it.

191Ameise1
Modificato: Mag 4, 2015, 6:12 pm

Jenny, you are in my thoughts. Safe travel and I hope you'll enjoy Rome's Italianita. Hugs xx

192lunacat
Modificato: Mag 5, 2015, 1:35 pm

Deleted. I'm sorry, I just can't bear to have it all out there.

Off to Rome tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be in a better headspace on my return.

193jjmcgaffey
Mag 4, 2015, 8:00 pm

You're WEAK? You've lived with this, you've done what you could to protect those most at risk - both female children and your mother - and now you're considering speaking out. You are being, and have been, incredibly brave and determined to get past what that filth did to you. I can't advise you on speaking up - there will be consequences both ways, and I don't know - can't know - your full situation - but I admire you for even considering it.

Is there anyone you could trust, within the family (maybe the parents of some of those female children?) that you could talk to and get another point of view? And possibly even support?

194nittnut
Mag 4, 2015, 8:15 pm

Ah. Jenny. I know you can't see me, but I am crying. My heart aches for you. I am sending you all the love and hope a person you don't really know can possibly send. I don't have any advice for you, but I do know a few things for absolutely sure. I am sure you know them too, or try to know them, but I'm going to tell you anyway because I'm the big sister in my family and that's how we roll.

It is not your fault.

If others blame you, they are in denial.

It doesn't matter if people hate you for telling the truth. You do what is best for you.

You did not ask for it. Ever.

Your Dad's death was not your fault.

It is not your fault.

Wanting someone to love you is not the same as wanting them to molest you. You did not want to be molested.

He did not love you.

It is not your fault.

It's OK to be scared.

Your suffering is more than enough for you to deal with.

You are alive. You are fighting. You are STRONG.

Whatever you decide to do, I believe in you.

195jolerie
Mag 4, 2015, 10:40 pm

HUGS. You are not alone.

196Kassilem
Mag 4, 2015, 10:44 pm

Seconded fullheartedly. No one's suffering is superior or inferior to any other's suffering. Just because you're struggling does not mean your weak. That fact that you've gotten this far in life proves how strong you are. And that you're considering talking about it makes you even stronger. I think reaching out to your family is admirable and needed. It takes speaking about the shit you've been through to get closure and peace.

You are an amazing woman Jenny! Please don't doubt it.

197humouress
Mag 5, 2015, 12:45 am

Jenny, I don't have the words that everyone else does, but I second them wholeheartedly. Your mum loves you, it seems obvious; I'm sure your family will support you.

Best of luck. Enjoy Rome - you've been looking forward to it for so long. Hoping you find healing and closure.

198Ameise1
Mag 5, 2015, 2:19 am

Dear Jenny,

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

Everything he told you is rubbish.

I don't know how it is in England but here in Switzerland we have special organisations which help girls and women who are sexually abused with everything what is needed. So if there is such a thing in England go to such a place and you'll get professional help.

You are a wonderful young woman and this terrible man has NO right over you.

Hugs xx

199roundballnz
Mag 5, 2015, 4:26 am

Speaking here from experience - you are not WEAK. You are strong, passionate etc even if you don't always feel it.

I can't tell you what choice to make, there will be consequences intended & unintended whichever path you travel

Try & enjoy your break away, I wish you strength to truly believe that none of that was your fault.

200souloftherose
Mag 5, 2015, 6:01 am

>192 lunacat: {{{{{Jenny}}}}}

>194 nittnut: Absolutely seconding what nittnut said.

There are organisations and charities in the UK that would support you working through this and deciding whether or not to tell more people in your family about this (you have done so well and been so brave to tell the people you have so far). I'm very hesitant to tell you what to do but I think it's important that you have all the support you can get making the decision about whether to tell your family and then helping you make that step if that is what you decide to do.

I found some links to charities and organisations that may be able to help on Mind UK's website:

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/abuse/...

201kidzdoc
Modificato: Mag 5, 2015, 6:09 am

Jenny, I am deeply sorry that you had to undergo sexual abuse from that evil man, which no one ever deserves. I applaud you for being strong enough to share your experiences, feelings and concerns here (and thanks to everyone in LT for creating a safe environment where the most painful topics can be discussed openly).

As others have said, you are far from alone in being abused as a vulnerable child. I hope that you are able to eventually disclose the abuse to your mother. Would it be easier to write a letter to her, and have her read it in your presence? That's what a dear friend of mine did when she was eventually able to tell her parents about the years of abuse she suffered from her stepbrother. As you said, if that man is not held to account for his crimes, he may go on to abuse another innocent child, and continue his depraved behavior.

I'll be praying for you, and please let me and the rest of us know if there is anything we can do to be of help.

202maggie1944
Mag 5, 2015, 7:24 am

Jenny, I join all your friends here in sending my hugs and love to you. Please do not discount the messages which remind you that you are being strong, not weak! Also, do remember if there is anything we can do for you from our far flung corners of the world, do not hesitate to ask. You know we would be happy to do whatever we can (I am confident in speaking for your friends here, in this).

In the many AA meetings I've attended in 30+ years of recovery from abusing alcohol we had a cliché which many times helped: It is our secrets which make us sick. You do not need to tell people with whom you do not feel safe, but being able to talk about what happened, and what you are feeling, with some safe people will be helpful.

Hugs, and admiration sent to you from the far flung northwest corner of the USA.

203Familyhistorian
Mag 5, 2015, 9:51 am

Jenny, know whatever you decide to do we will be here to support you.

204ronincats
Modificato: Mag 5, 2015, 11:19 pm

Jenny, everyone above has said those true things which have to be said, but I strongly second going to a resource that deals with survivors of sexual abuse and working with them. That way when you decide whom to tell, you will be working from a position of strength and not desperation. It's important! {{{{{Jenny}}}}}

205Whisper1
Mag 5, 2015, 12:47 pm

Dear, sweet Jenny. What an honor that you trust this group
Oh. Sweetie. Sick people will project their ugliness to others YOU ARE NOT WEAK
I agree with Darryl"s comments above. Please know that even though this evil man used you at a very vulnerable time in your life, this was never your fault. It was a snake who knew when to strike. Much love to you

206drneutron
Mag 5, 2015, 7:55 pm

I missed the original message, but I will say I agree with everything folks are telling you. I'll be praying for you too.

207SandDune
Mag 6, 2015, 2:36 am

I'm not sure that I've got much to add to everyone else's comments, except echoing that it is not your fault. You should not feel guilty whatever path you choose to take.

208msf59
Mag 6, 2015, 8:22 am

We are always here for you, my friend. And you are always in our thoughts and prayers.

209lkernagh
Mag 6, 2015, 9:40 am

Chiming in to say that I agree all of the comments already posted above: It is NOT your fault and you should not feel guilty. {{{Jenny}}}

210jnwelch
Mag 6, 2015, 2:50 pm

Ditto, Jenny. I'm so sorry you had to experience that awfulness and then to deal with its effects on your life. I agree with Darryl's thoughtful comments, too.

211kidzdoc
Mag 6, 2015, 10:22 pm

And I agree with Jenn's comments in >194 nittnut:.

212evilmoose
Mag 7, 2015, 12:09 am

Sending hugs your way Jenny. Hope Rome has been wonderful too!

213banjo123
Mag 7, 2015, 11:31 pm


Sending (((hugs))) and hoping that you are eating lots of yummy gelato!

214humouress
Modificato: Mag 8, 2015, 1:51 am

>213 banjo123: Yes; I eat gelato because it doesn't have the calories that ice cream has. I know this is true, because my sister, a gelato fan, says so. See - you can have your cake and eat it. Or something...

Enjoy the holiday, Jenny!

215Ameise1
Mag 9, 2015, 5:20 am

Hi Jenny, I hope you like Rome.

216lunacat
Mag 9, 2015, 5:17 pm

Rome has been incredible and I'll put some pics up at some point if anyone shows an interest. I'm sunburnt and full of pizza and wine.

But at the same time everything back home is in the back of my mind and I'm struggling with some decisions. Everything feels closer to a tipping point - to the moment I decide if I keep this secret forever or try and get justice. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to rip my family apart. But I'm not sure I'm brave enough to keep silent either.

Still, I have one more night of keeping the real world away.

217Ameise1
Modificato: Mag 9, 2015, 5:27 pm

>106 lkernagh: Jenny, I'm so happy that your Rome trip was a blast. I would really like to see some photos.

Thinking of you. Love and hugs xx

218lunacat
Mag 9, 2015, 5:56 pm

Happy version - can someone slap me for daring to put that in my title? I'm turning into an attention seeking drama queen and i don't want to be that person of LT. I don't want people to dread seeing I've been active, but that's what I fear.

Ugh. I should vanish for a few days to think. I love you all, and I wish you could all know how much you mean to me.

219banjo123
Mag 9, 2015, 7:56 pm

>218 lunacat: I don't think that you need to worry about that! We are always happy to see you active. But sorry you are having a tough time. This is hard, but you will get through it -- the fact that you are even thinking about it shows how strong you are.

(((hugs)))

220Whisper1
Mag 9, 2015, 8:49 pm

>218 lunacat:...no, no, no You are not an attention seeking drama queen. Perish the thought. Much love sent your way.

221humouress
Modificato: Mag 10, 2015, 7:12 am

Hello attention-seeking drama queen!! (Oops, sorry, Linda; I'm being a bit counterproductive).

It's good to see you posting again; we worry about you when you're not here (I was about to start thinking about pm-ing you, and you don't want that, do you?). Glad to see you're having a great time in Rome. Post pictures!

(So sorry - I seem to be one of those idiots that start blathering under stress. It's meant to make you smile, not be offensive. Let me know if it is, and I'll try and turn it off.)

222maggie1944
Mag 10, 2015, 7:38 am

Silly! Anyone who is tired of you posting will just stop reading. Anyone who continues to read your posts, and drops in to say hello, obviously enjoys chatting with you. You do not need to retreat.

I had some good time on my shift of shopping to sit in my car and read. I love my job where I can be paid to read on some days! I'm into Breakfast with Buddha and so far I'm enjoying it.

223katiekrug
Mag 10, 2015, 12:47 pm

(((Jenny)))

224PaulCranswick
Mag 10, 2015, 6:47 pm

Sending hugs your way, Jenny. I won't add to the specific messages of support here for you my dear but will second some of the comments which show how loved you are by the group. Take very good care of yourself. xxx

225lkernagh
Mag 10, 2015, 9:40 pm

Happy to read that you had a wonderful time in Rome, Jenny! As others have mentioned, we are here to support you so don't feel as though you need to tone down any of your posts.... jut be yourself!

226jnwelch
Mag 11, 2015, 9:25 am

Ditto, Jenny. Welcome home, and I'm glad to hear it was a great trip.

227DeltaQueen50
Mag 11, 2015, 6:54 pm

Hi Jenny, just wanted to drop by and let you know that I think you are very brave, and of course, leave some (((Hugs))) for you as well.

228Whisper1
Mag 11, 2015, 8:17 pm

Hi There. I'm simply stopping by to see how you are feeling.

229LovingLit
Modificato: Mag 12, 2015, 4:13 am

Hi Jenny, I totally get you editing your message. Having stuff 'out there' can feel just too revealing sometimes. I can gather from the the messages afterwards though....and I am flabbergasted at what decisions you are trying to make now. This should never have been something you should have to deal with, and I really feel for you. And I, like Darryl, applaud your bravery in letting us know (.....and I am really glad that there are no yucky people here who are being mean.)
Whatever you decide to do, life will take its course. And although revealing hidden secrets may frighten shock scare and anger people, that doesn't alter the fact that this stuff happened. You know you have my (our!) support.
Eta: I can delete this message at a later date if you want...just let me know. I am sure others would oblige too.

230nittnut
Mag 12, 2015, 5:49 am

What Megan said. If we need to edit our messages to you, happy to. Hope you're doing OK. Thinking about you.

231Ameise1
Mag 16, 2015, 8:00 am

Hi Jenny, I wish you a wonderful weekend. xx

232humouress
Mag 16, 2015, 3:10 pm

I say; we all get beautiful flowers, and Jenny gets beautiful horses.

233lunacat
Mag 16, 2015, 6:14 pm

First, let me start with this.

Although my absences may not show this, the friendships I have here are incredibly important to me, and I beat myself up every day I don't come here and let people know how much, and how often, I think of them. My friendships are a lifeline to me, and I don't do nearly enough at my end to keep them going. Those of you who mean the most, hopefully know it, and I send thoughts and love out into the ether every time I think of you.

I've had a couple of unpleasant PMs about things I've said of late. And they have fed into my rampant anxieties and insecurities. So much so I considered some way of closing my account and not coming back. I'm not going to take that step, but I don't feel 100% safe, though I am trying very hard. I would very very much like to go back to how I am on my good days, reading, writing, tormenting people and generally making a nuisance of myself on others threads. But the anxiety is making that impossible at the moment. My hill to climb, my demons to battle. And at the moment I'm ****ing sick of beating a demon down, only to have it regenerate and start the fight again.

234drneutron
Mag 16, 2015, 8:17 pm

I'm so sorry you've had a tough time lately. You're welcome to make a nuisance of yourself on my thread anytime! :)

235jolerie
Mag 16, 2015, 8:30 pm

Sorry you have to deal with all of this, Jenny.

Please don't listen to those who are negative towards you.

*HUGS*

236alsvidur
Mag 16, 2015, 8:43 pm

I'm glad you've decided to stay. I enjoy your musings on books and love photos & updates on your progress with Connie!

237Kassilem
Mag 16, 2015, 8:54 pm

I mostly lurk nowadays, but I do enjoy visiting your thread and seeing your work with horses (I always wanted to work with horses) and your book thoughts. I'm glad you're sticking around. But no matter what, do what makes you feel happy. :)

238jjmcgaffey
Mag 17, 2015, 2:36 am

If someone's pestering you by PM, you might tell Tim or Lorannen - that's inappropriate behavior (OK, I don't know what they said or what they were talking about - but if it's bothering you that much it's inappropriate. Harassment is in the eye of the victim).

239Ameise1
Mag 17, 2015, 4:15 am

Jenny, I'm so sorry to hear that there are bad people here on LT. Please, don't listen to them. Love and hugs xx

240kidzdoc
Mag 17, 2015, 7:45 am

I'm very sorry that you've had to read those disturbing PMs, Jenny. Hopefully your public mention of them will make it less likely that you'll receive any oter ones.

I'm very glad that you've decided to stay on LT. You're a valuable and loved member of the family, and it wouldn't be the same if you weren't here.

241maggie1944
Mag 17, 2015, 8:26 am

I do check your thread regularly and enjoy your contributions to our bookish society. A pox on those who sent you private messages which were negative, and which gave you icky feelings about being safe here on LT. One of the finest characteristics of this site is the kind, supportive, and generally positive atmosphere. I'm always glad that there are so few childish, petty, nasty moments. May it always be so!

Please do report to Tim any inappropriate messages as it takes all of us pitching in to keep the atmosphere the good thing it is.

Hang in there, and keep letting us know how you are doing, and what you are reading. You are an important part of our community.

242ronincats
Mag 17, 2015, 1:16 pm

Jenny, my friend, I'm glad you have decided to stay! I do not forget your support for me earlier this year. You are a valuable and valued friend.

243lunacat
Mag 17, 2015, 5:06 pm

For the past four days I've been having intense spikes of anxiety, in between the constant low level stuff that has crept up on me. It was bad enough today that I couldn't make myself go and ride Connie. This is not a nice development.

Sooner or letter, it's going to get easier again. Right?

244tymfos
Modificato: Mag 17, 2015, 5:52 pm

Sorry I've been absent lately, but stopping by and am sorry for your troubles and horrified that anyone is sending you nasty pms. Echoing supportive thoughts folks have posted here, and hope you'll report inappropriate messages. Hang in there!

245katiekrug
Mag 17, 2015, 7:45 pm

Nasty PMs are what evil little trolls use to make themselves feel big. I know of a few people here who have experienced that particular kind of harassment, and it infuriates me.

You are strong. We are here, and we care.

(((Jenny)))

246banjo123
Mag 18, 2015, 12:30 am

(((hugs)))

247Ameise1
Mag 18, 2015, 12:36 am

>243 lunacat: Yes, it will. Love and hugs xx

248nittnut
Mag 18, 2015, 5:43 am

Thinking of you and hoping that some rays of sunshine will creep in. Also sending dust bunnies and head colds to the mean nasty baddies who are sending mean PMs. That's not how we roll around here. You do what you need to and take care of yourself. We'll be here. :)

(((Hugs)))

249souloftherose
Mag 18, 2015, 6:53 am

{{{{{Jenny}}}}} So sorry to hear about the anxiety spikes at the moment and the nasty pms. You shouldn't have to deal with that on top of everything else. And sorry to hear you weren't able to ride Connie today.

250DeltaQueen50
Mag 18, 2015, 5:41 pm

Thinking of you (((Jenny))). Don't let any negativity from other people get you down, they are the one with the problem.

251Familyhistorian
Mag 19, 2015, 9:52 am

Sorry to hear about your continuing anxiety and the nasty pms. I hope you are able to ride Connie soon as I think that helps give you strength.

252jnwelch
Mag 19, 2015, 1:21 pm

I join in what others are saying, Jenny. Sorry you've had those disturbing pms, and maybe Tim and the staff can help on that. I'm awfully glad you've decided to stay on LT. I enjoy your visits to my thread, and your comments here and on others. As far as I can tell, this generally is one of the more safe and benign online environments. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

253LovingLit
Mag 19, 2015, 8:16 pm

It's great to know that you think of 'us' often, in a good way. I do too. For example- when I see a horse I think of you, and when I see a camel I think of Caro (I don't see that many camels here in NZ though). It is funny how an internet friendship affects RL too. Don't feel bad about dropping out from time to time. We know you are there.
Keep on keeping on, Jenny! I am convinced things will feel better for you if not right away, then soon.

254Ameise1
Mag 23, 2015, 7:12 am

Hi Jenny, I wish you a lovely weekend. hugs xx

255lunacat
Mag 23, 2015, 7:37 pm

I've just had a rant with someone and I don't know how to react to that rant.

I was trying to explain how I was trying to make myself feel worth something in this world. Bear in mind, I've spent 20 years believing I am worthless. And now I'm testing the boundaries of being worth something. Of taking up peoples' time. Of being worth peoples' energy.

He said I was selfish. I said I was learning self worth. Which is true? I believe I am worth nothing. I go to bed each night counting the number of people who will turn up to my funeral, as a level of my worth. People would turn up as a definition of what they 'should' do, not what they want to. The people who actually love me, I could on one hand, and if I subtract animals, I reach the number 2. 2 people in the world love me for me.

And yet I keep trying to make myself feel more.

But apparently I'm being selfish in striving to be more important than that number 2? Am I? Is it selfish to wish to be more important to more than 2 people, or is it wishing that I could make a difference like those people like Mother Teresa who touched 2xinfinity?

256banjo123
Mag 23, 2015, 7:47 pm

(((jenny))) No, you are not selfish. Plus Mother Teresa was not really all of that.

257Ameise1
Mag 24, 2015, 4:35 am

{{{Jenny}}} you are definitely not selfish. You are a gem and I think people in your surrounding won't see this and that's the big problem. Every time when somebody tries to stand up who never or seldom has done this before, makes others, who are used to ignore this person, uncomfortable. So, it's not your problem but theirs. Go on with making you feel worth. Hugs xx

258maggie1944
Mag 24, 2015, 7:18 am

Congratulations for starting on the journey of discovering your own worth. I use the word "discovery" purposefully as your worth exists, you just need to discover the width and breadth of it. One way in which I've convinced myself of my own self worth (after being raised by someone who did not know how to build self worth in a child, knew only how to criticize, and tear down) was to realize that if the Universe did not find me worthy I would not be here. The Universe has very effective ways of not supporting elements which do not belong. If you live and breathe, you have worth. Now the task is to look for its evidence and convince yourself.

Each day when you do at least one good thing for another sentient being you are contributing. Even if no one came to your funeral, you will have lead a worthy life if you continue to find ways to practice kindness, and concern for others.

OK. That's my thoughts on the subject. You will discover your own way of seeing your worth. It is a wonderful journey, and it does take courage and effort. Best wishes for one more day on the planet! And be gentle with yourself, you deserve much kindness and you can start by being the first kind person you meet every morning when you wake up.

259Familyhistorian
Mag 24, 2015, 6:36 pm

Finding your self worth is a continuing and worthwhile journey. Don't let other people discourage you from your path.

260bell7
Mag 26, 2015, 2:31 pm

Hi Jenny, I haven't been posting much, and many people have said what I'd been thinking so much better than I would've. But I want you to know that I am reading, and you're in my thoughts.

261jjmcgaffey
Mag 27, 2015, 6:20 pm

If possible, I'd cut that person out of my life. Someone who calls you selfish for trying to be more than you've been allowed to be? I can't think of any translation of "trying to find my self-worth" that can equal any reasonable definition of selfish - except where selfish means "not focused on me (him) first any more". Which is not the sort of person I'd want to be around.

I probably wouldn't go to your funeral, because we're not physically close and I couldn't afford the trip. But I would feel a real hole in my life if you weren't around any more. Can I count as a fraction in your accounting of worth? 1/4 or 1/8 of a person-who-thinks-you're-worthwhile?

262LovingLit
Mag 30, 2015, 6:19 pm

I 2nd , 3rd, 4 th, 5th and 6th the sentiments express here already. Particularly Maggies one. Self worth is good, getting some where you had not much is necessary. So keep building yours up, as you are important!
((((hugs))))

263Deern
Giu 3, 2015, 6:49 am

Jenny I am so sorry I wasn't here earlier in May. Can I just say that I am feeling with you and I am sending my love and all my support for you? I'm another one with frequent absences this year, but you're often in my thoughts and I believe you're on a good path although some steps do hurt. But standing still hurts more and it is guaranteed to keep hurting, while stepping forward there's a good chance for improvement.

The selfish thing - I've heard that a lot in the last years since I started not only having my issues treated but also speaking about them instead of shamefully hiding the fact that I'm seeing a therapist. I usually hear the "people like you who have the time to think of themselves all day long while others have important things to worry about". Those are often people who had to sacrifice something of themselves in order to emotionally survive some trauma of their own. They hardened up and now they expect others to do the same because if they have been suffering all their lives then for them you have no right to wish to improve your own situation. You'd think that if someone went through a bad childhood s/he'd wish everyone else to be happier, but that's not the case with many people. They become incredibly judgemental towards those who try to make their lives better instead of suffering in silence.

You're definitely not selfish. One thing I learned in the last 3 years: since I started the self-worth work I haven't become more egotistic, but on the contrary more openly emphatic and understanding towards others. It was an automatic consequence and an experience I wish my critics at home could one day have for themselves.

264Ameise1
Giu 5, 2015, 11:30 am

Hi Jenny, thinking of you. Love and hugs xx

265Berly
Modificato: Giu 8, 2015, 2:54 am

Hi Jenny--I am sorry that I have been mostly MIA during this difficult time for you, and that I wasn't here to visit your thread and lend my support. But I am here now and I applaud your quest for self-worth. And ultimately I think your love for yourself is way more important than the number of people who would show up at your funeral. You have nothing to forgive yourself for. Only to celebrate. I am sorry for what you have had to go through and I just want you to know how very much you are appreciated here. I hope LT continues to be a place you look forward to visiting!! Big hugs and lots of them.

266Ameise1
Giu 12, 2015, 11:24 am

Wishing you a wonderful weekend, Jenny.

267jnwelch
Modificato: Giu 12, 2015, 11:36 am

Ditto, Jenny.

268cameling
Giu 12, 2015, 11:40 am

There are many who aren't able to counter the type of challenges you've been thrown and you are doing it so admirably. Please don't listen to those who send negative PMs to you. They're cowards. If they truly believe that they're right, they would have posted their comments in the open rather than hide behind PMs. I think they know that if they had posted their negative and nasty comments here, we'd all descend upon them like a pack of protective and outraged wolves and they would, of course, expose themselves for being the judgmental cowards that they are.

You're brave, you're lovely, you are valued and loved.

I will only be repeating what others have already more eloquently said about you. Just be assured that we come here because we care, because we are interested in you, we support you and ... for the horsey pics. :-)

Big big hugs!!!! and may a thousand fleas infest the armpits of the mean PMers.

269humouress
Giu 14, 2015, 3:43 am

Hi Jenny! I've not been on LT consistently for a while. Chiming in with supportive vibes, and echoing what everyone else has already said so well.

It's good to see you posting on LT.

270SandDune
Giu 15, 2015, 2:50 am

Jenny, just dropping by to say it was really nice to meet you yesterday. Hope you had a good time.

271flissp
Giu 16, 2015, 5:59 am

Oh goodness Jenny - I'm so sorry I've missed so much of this - I had no idea. I don't know what to say, other than to echo everything everyone else has said here on your thread (and please do try to dismiss anyone who is so cowardly as to abuse you through PMs - and yes, also report them).

You may not think it, but you clearly have a core of strength in you and I personally have huge respect for someone who can rise above all the cr*p in the way that you have and put such a cheerful, brave face on things. You are not worthless. You are NOT selfish. We all enjoy talking to you very much. We will support you whatever you choose to do.

On another note, it was great to see you again on Sunday and if you ever fancy another trip bookshop trawling or otherwise, just send me a message - I'm always up for exploring! (although probably message me on fb - I continue to be rubbish at keeping up with LT..)

272lkernagh
Giu 16, 2015, 9:43 pm

Hi Jenny, I have been kind of absent from LT for the past 4 weeks and only now slowly getting caught back up with various threads. I am shocked and dismayed that you have received some unpleasant PMs and I join everyone else in being glad that you have chosen to stay and not close your LT account.

On the topic of self worth, I believe that is something that only the individual embarking on the journey can judge. No one should be labeling you as acting selfish just because you want to discover your own self worth. They are not the one taking the journey. You are. Sending hugs your way.

273Ameise1
Giu 27, 2015, 6:38 am

Hi Jenny, I hope you feel better. Take care with your injury.

274LovingLit
Lug 6, 2015, 4:07 am

Hi there,
I'm just nosing about to see if there is any action here. Hello! And bye, for now :)

275lunacat
Lug 12, 2015, 4:09 pm

So much for my delusional 'happy version', eh?

276LovingLit
Lug 12, 2015, 4:56 pm

^ well, not being happy is ok too. I'll take down in the dumps over fake happy any day.
You'll get there, Jenny, even if it does take more time than you want it to.

277lunacat
Modificato: Lug 16, 2015, 9:36 am

More ranting doesn't help.

Nothing to say but I'm strong, and I'm fighting.

278maggie1944
Lug 12, 2015, 6:24 pm

I am not sure what to say but I know I want you to know I believe you to have great courage, and I support your journey to health and serenity!

279LovingLit
Lug 12, 2015, 8:34 pm

>277 lunacat: sorry if my comment sounded trite. I didn't mean it to.
I am *fist pumping* for you to hear that you are not beaten and that you are battling. (And that you are standing up for yourself to nasty PMers.) You are facing huge challenges, and I am glad to see you back here posting, cos then I can cheer you on.

280humouress
Modificato: Lug 12, 2015, 9:39 pm

>277 lunacat: You sound strong. Keep fighting; we're with you all the way.

ETA: I do hope I've never said anything to upset you. If I have, I promise it was unintentional. Sometimes I read posts I've written in the past, and wonder what on earth I was on about; you'd have to be in my headspace at the time I posted to understand it :0/

281nittnut
Lug 12, 2015, 9:32 pm

I will join Megan in the *fist pumping* section. And good for you for being assertive and setting some boundaries on what people can/should say to you. I know someone who is working through something similar. The first thing they were told to do in therapy was to (respectfully) work on being assertive and protecting their boundaries. I would think that getting good at standing up for yourself would be very healing. You are so strong and I admire you so much.

282humouress
Lug 12, 2015, 9:41 pm

PS - It's good to see you back on LT again. It's been a while.

283jjmcgaffey
Lug 13, 2015, 1:39 am

>277 lunacat: I think a person who was dealing with what you are and never complained and tried to deal with it without saying a word would be in a very bad place, bottling all that up. Let it out - I'm sorry your own thread isn't a perfectly safe place to do so, but you've got a lot of supporters here. Let us outweigh the ones who attack you (who, you note, don't dare do so where your friends can see - they only do it privately).

Good for you - keep going! *joins fist-pumping*. And good to see you again.

284lkernagh
Lug 13, 2015, 11:01 am

I'll keep battling. I'll keep fighting. I'll keep out of hospital and I'll keep vaguely sane.

It sounds to me as though you have got the right attitude to take on these demons. Sending you strength for your continued battle.

285Deern
Lug 15, 2015, 5:59 am

I'll never understand people who send hateful PNs or write abusive comments in forums - you must be completely "poisoned from within" to do such a thing.
I just know that not a single one of them would be able to "get over themselves", be better than you, "just deal with it" or whatever else they're saying if they were in your place.
They are lucky if they aren't - and then they should be grateful and either be supportive or stay quiet.
And if they are in a similar place, what I suspect, and have dealt with it by suppressing it and taking the wrong side (because it felt safer) and are now letting it out on people who chose an open, honest path, I fear they are beyond help.

Sending strength, support and lots of love your way!!

286jnwelch
Lug 16, 2015, 3:59 pm

I'm also glad you're fighting, Jenny, and back on LT. I miss your 18th century food, and tales of the algae people.

287EBT1002
Lug 20, 2015, 9:39 pm

Hey Jenny, I've been awol for an awfully long time but wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I'm sorry it's been a rough road lately. Whoever the mean PMer is, I do hope you can ignore them and focus on the journey of self-discovery and self-appreciation you have started. I'm in therapy and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, even though I absolutely struggle with my own ambivalence, my determination not to need anyone, my sense that I should have this all figured out by now. But we are all human beings, all works in progress. I truly believe that.

I hope you can focus on the folks around here who want you to find a sense of worth in being, not so much in doing.

Take care -----

288Familyhistorian
Ago 3, 2015, 2:19 pm

It has been a while since I checked your thread, Jenny. I must have accidentally unstarred it but realized that checking in on LT didn't seem right without hearing from you. When I saw that you are still on the thread that you started in March, I realized that you are still working through things. I hope that you are doing better and will soon be increasing your posts. We miss you.

289maggie1944
Ago 3, 2015, 7:23 pm

I will join in with the chorus of "we miss you" and hoping you will hop back into the discussions here. What are you reading, any way?

290Whisper1
Ago 3, 2015, 7:33 pm

Hello Dear One. I'm stopping by to say I'm thinking of you and sending gentle hugs.

291tymfos
Modificato: Ago 10, 2015, 12:55 pm

292jnwelch
Ago 10, 2015, 2:37 pm

More ditto, Jenny!

293humouress
Ago 11, 2015, 11:55 pm

*waving* Hi Jenny! I seem to be absent from LT a lot these days (at least, the Talk side of it), but it's always good to see you on here, when you are. Hoping you'll come back soon.

294LauraBrook
Ago 19, 2015, 6:14 pm

Just wondering and worrying about you, dear. I may not stop in at LT all the time, but I think of all of my friends here (you're one of them!) every day. (((Jenny)))

295tymfos
Ago 21, 2015, 2:39 pm

>294 LauraBrook: Ditto what she said!

296cameling
Ago 27, 2015, 12:08 pm

Stopping in to say hello and wishing you well.

297Ameise1
Ago 30, 2015, 4:49 am

Happy Sunday, Jenny.

298DeltaQueen50
Ago 30, 2015, 10:10 pm

Hi Jenny, just dropping by to send some good wishes your way.

299humouress
Set 5, 2015, 2:54 am

Hi Jenny. Hope you're keeping well.

I really should carry on with my riding lessons; I think I was just about comfortable on a horse by the time I got to the end of my 8 week session. My six year old is keen.

I have been continuing with Riding for the Disabled and next week I'm doing a one day Leaders course; so far I've been doing side-walking. Each rider gets 2 side-walkers to help them (till they're more confident), and the leader focusses on the horse. Maybe I'll turn into a horse person eventually ;0)

300Berly
Set 14, 2015, 2:19 am

Hi Jenny--Making a sadly rare LT appearance and came to check up on you. Hope you know that you are valued and missed here. If your own thread doesn't feel safe yet, then PM me, okay? Big Hugs.

301Kassilem
Set 16, 2015, 8:26 am

Hi! I'm here to lurk a little bit as I get my LT thread-watching groove back under my feet. :)

302humouress
Ott 17, 2015, 1:11 pm

*waving*

303tymfos
Ott 22, 2015, 12:01 am

Missing you!

304LovingLit
Nov 6, 2015, 1:00 pm

Hi Jenny,
My friends who love horses have just sold their house to rent the house next to the paddock where their horses live. I thought you would appreciate that :)

305Berly
Nov 28, 2015, 2:28 am

Waving hello! Hope we see you soon. : )

306lkernagh
Dic 20, 2015, 1:02 pm

Stopping by with Hellos for you, Jenny!

307humouress
Dic 20, 2015, 10:07 pm

Hoping we'll see you back here before the end of the year! Best wishes to Connie, too.

I did the leader's course with RDA, so I've lead the horses once or twice. Gosh, those animals have personalities! There's one cute-looking little white mare we use for the smaller riders; she's a real grumpuss. Takes you by surprise before you get to know her. :0o We've finished for the year and scattered to the four corners of the globe, but I think we're all looking forward to being back next year.

308SandDune
Dic 23, 2015, 4:29 pm

Sending Christmas wishes Jenny!

309tymfos
Dic 23, 2015, 6:25 pm

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas, Jenny!

310lkernagh
Dic 24, 2015, 10:13 am

311PaulCranswick
Dic 24, 2015, 11:55 am



Have a lovely holiday, Jenny. I do hope we will see you again soon. xx

312The_Hibernator
Dic 24, 2015, 2:39 pm



Merry Christmas Jenny!

313ChelleBearss
Dic 26, 2015, 9:22 am


Merry Christmas, Jenny!

314Fourpawz2
Dic 26, 2015, 11:47 am

Merry Christmas, Jenny. Hoping you come back to us next year...

315Berly
Dic 26, 2015, 4:06 pm


316LauraBrook
Dic 26, 2015, 4:52 pm

Merry Christmas, Jenny!

317LovingLit
Dic 27, 2015, 1:21 am

Holiday greetings to you!
See you again about here soon, I hope :)

318jnwelch
Dic 28, 2015, 2:33 pm

Happy Holidays, Jenny!

I join Megan in hoping we see you here soon.

319lunacat
Dic 28, 2015, 7:21 pm

Thanks so much everyone.

This year has been............challenging. Being involved in a police investigation (victim, not perpetrator) is exhausting, taxing, tiring.......I dunno. Not easy anyway. I'm so fed up of forms, statements, tests, yadda yadda ya.

Maybe I'll be back next year. I hope so. But I so so so so appreciate the love shown to me here. I wish I could expend the mental energy being here instead of dealing with **** police forms and helping them. But c'est la vie. Maybe 2016 will be my year. For now there is vodka, port, chocolate and my bed. What more could I need?

320humouress
Dic 28, 2015, 10:13 pm

Merry Christmas Jenny! Best wishes for 2016; see you then.

321msf59
Dic 28, 2015, 10:25 pm

OMG!! Was that a Jenny sighting? Gulp...

322tymfos
Dic 28, 2015, 10:30 pm

So glad to see word from you, Jenny! So sorry this year has been what it's been. I wish you a MUCH better 2016!

323LauraBrook
Dic 28, 2015, 10:30 pm

Jenny! Lovely to see you! Hope things settle down for you very soon, and 2016 is excellent and kind to all of us.

324Familyhistorian
Dic 29, 2015, 12:58 am

I hope all the forms are done by the start of 2016, Jenny. I look forward to seeing your posts again.

325Ameise1
Dic 29, 2015, 5:04 am

It's so lovely to see you, Jenny. Thinking of you and keep my fingers crossed that 2016 will be much better. xx

326Crazymamie
Dic 29, 2015, 11:20 am

Jenny!!! SO great to see you here! You have been greatly missed, my friend. Sending you our best wishes and keeping you in our thoughts. Much love to you, dear.

327evilmoose
Modificato: Dic 29, 2015, 11:47 am


Merry 2016 Jenny, hope the coming year goes better for you.

328Kassilem
Dic 29, 2015, 4:00 pm

My fingers are crossed for you that it all gets settled soon. Welcome back! I'm looking forward to reading your threads in 2016 if it works out. Best!

329PaulCranswick
Dic 31, 2015, 6:30 am



Have a wonderful bookfilled 2016, Jenny. Port, chocolate and vodka are useful bedfellows! Miss you lots.

330Ameise1
Dic 31, 2015, 3:35 pm

331Storeetllr
Dic 31, 2015, 6:40 pm



Here's to another year of good friends, good times and lots of good books!

332lkernagh
Gen 1, 2016, 1:05 pm

Popping over to wish you a Happy New Year and best wishes for 2016, Jenny!

333Berly
Gen 2, 2016, 8:05 pm

Jenny--hoping to see more of you in 2016--hope time allows!!

334The_Hibernator
Gen 3, 2016, 11:30 pm



Happy New Year!

335humouress
Modificato: Feb 7, 2016, 8:10 am

Hi Jenny. Hoping to see you over in the 2016 group with your own thread soon!

336tymfos
Modificato: Feb 9, 2016, 10:27 am

>335 humouress: Ditto! Missing you and wishing you well.

337LovingLit
Mar 4, 2016, 12:24 am

>319 lunacat: great to see you have popped by!
Any news on the 2016 thread?
Keep on trucking, your mission is a pure one and you have my support.

338jnwelch
Mar 5, 2016, 3:23 pm

*waves to Jenny*

339tymfos
Mar 10, 2016, 10:34 am

*I'm waving too!*

340Berly
Mar 14, 2016, 12:30 am

Come back Jenny!!! : )

341humouress
Mar 14, 2016, 4:15 pm

*also waving*

342Whisper1
Mag 12, 2016, 6:06 pm

Hello Dear Jenn..I'm sorry that you experienced rude posts. I very much like your attitude and vow to remain positive. I haven't posted on lt a lot because of health issues. I am stopping by to wave hi and to wish you well. Hugs to you.

343Berly
Mag 18, 2016, 1:06 am

Still missing you. : ) Hope all is well.

344tymfos
Mag 19, 2016, 8:59 pm

Hope you are OK!

345humouress
Set 13, 2016, 2:31 am

Hoping you'll come back soon!

346Crazymamie
Ott 21, 2016, 8:07 am

Me, too, Jenny.

347jnwelch
Ott 21, 2016, 4:02 pm

Ditto, Jenny!

348Berly
Nov 24, 2016, 7:16 pm



Miss you. : )

349humouress
Nov 24, 2016, 8:02 pm

Hi Jenny; I've spotted you around the threads here and there. Good to see you back!