Definite and indefinite articles to be abolished

United States Government announces the end of the the

In surprise move, use of indefinite and definite articles is to be banned in official government documents. Definite articles will disappear with effect from April 1 2015, whilst indefinite articles will be retained for transitional period until April 2016. Demonstrative pronouns are said to be unaffected by the move, but this situation may be reviewed in due course. Official reason for taking such radical steps is that articles are considered old-fashioned and largely redundant and their withdrawal will cut government text-processing costs by as much as 0.5%, but sources close to White House suggest that it is gesture aimed at conciliating Russia at moment of international crisis.

It is expected that business and local government will follow suit, taking advantage of similar savings. Government spokesmen declined to comment on situation in other English-speaking regions, but it is thought that pressure has already been brought to bear on them to implement these measures. Canada is rumoured to be considering permitting use of French articles in English texts, but questions of gender would have to be settled first. Australia is still trying to determine which articles would be covered by the ban.

I'm sure it will be October, to get the full fiscal year effect.

I already speak this way. Influence from Finnish :)

And happy *** day to you too :)

Was it difficult to write these two paragraphs? I guess it wouldn't be easy in French. Nice constraint.

Edited PS: there is a 'the' at the end! I just noticed it while you were posting your reply...

Must be April 1st.

>5 Pepys:
You probably noticed that I missed one. I resisted the urge to go back and remove it. Or to add that Canberra was developing a new set of characteristically Australian articles that would save paper by being unprintable.