Slash

Well, Slash, holy fuck man! I sort of want to take you under my wing and give you a hug dude. But first, I want you to have a shower because you are dirty. And I don't mean that in a "dirty-sexy" way. I mean it in a "remember Pig-Pen from Charlie Brown, how filthy he was?" way. I would like to introduce you to soap and laundry detergent and, what the hell, underwear. I get that living on the road, touring, has its challenges. And I get that junkies are, well, junkies. But seriously. You grossed me out a little bit, and that is really, really hard to do. I am fairly certain we did not need to know about your treatment-resistant penis-warts. But, gosh, I am sure glad you had them cleared up before reuniting with Sally. Phew! That was a close one, eh?

You definitely seem to be a wise old soul so, for the love of humanity, man, stop sticking needles in your veins. That is not cool and you are way smarter than that, dumb-ass. I am glad things are calmer in your life and that, by the end of the story you are clean and sober (this book is from 2007). It seems you and your wife, Perla, have had more ups and downs in the past year but your two little boys are super-cute so I hope you are making life easy for them and not stressing them out with your bad-boy antics and Perla's party-mama ways; though reading about it all was very cool. I have to ask you a favour though, Slash. Stop using the word "literally". Please? Now!

One niggling annoyance: your co-author sort of sucks. A lot. And your editor sucks too. If you ever do another memoir, a part two to this book, choose someone else to co-write with. Apply the same logic and gut instinct you use in feeling the groove with other musicians to seeking out writers and editors. It wouldn't take much to turn your okay story into a totally kick-ass book!

So, from your book I came away still thinking you are underrated as an axe-man. Your vibe (as a human being) is totally excellent and I am sure a lot of people could learn from your ways. And I don't mean your not-so-smart-junkie ways. I mean your sit back, take it all in, accept people as they are for who they are ways. I am pulling for you to have a happy and calm life filled with a lot of music-making.

I felt the need for a visual, here. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!

… (altro)