David Sheff

To be a parent means you are only as happy as your most unhappy child — this is never more profound as when your child is an addict.

For parents of children who are not addicts, you will never know the grief, pain, loss, desperation, angst, guilt, anger, betrayal, and unimaginable fear we with addict children go through. I envy you.

Beautiful Boy is a raw story of love and misery that one man goes through with his addict son. Sheff’s authentic introspection says it all: “I became addicted to my child’s addiction.” We parents of addicts become preoccupied, at the expense of other responsibilities, marriage, other children, work, friends, church. We justify. We beg. We make deals. We compromise, with them, and with our selves. And we never stop loving them.

This is not a read for the weak. This is an in the trenches look at what it feels like to go through the ups and downs of life with an addict. This is not pretty. But this is necessary to know. Addiction is a disease of the brain that only the addict can choose to control. None of the platitudes work: They can just stop. It’s a choice. No one is making them take the drink/drug. And that is the rub for us parents: How can I not try to fix my child? How can I sit back and watch? How can they do this to themselves, to me, to their family? What could I have done differently? What did I do wrong? But again, this is about the addict and we parents just have to ride the waves, arms open for the fall; and the fall always comes. Hopefully, the fall will just be a slip, not a life altering or ending one.

I have heard this book has been made into a movie, I’m sure it’s great. But my guess is that the book is far more powerful with its written descriptions of emotion, feeling, and fear. If you are going through it, or if you have been through it, or if you know someone who is in the through of a child with an addiction, this is one for you. I wish you well, you are not alone.… (altro)

The Buddhist on Death Row was an intriguing, yet sad book. Jarvis Jay Masters’s early life WAS a horror story, setting the tone for adulthood. Abuse, neglect, juvenile detention, but when it comes to imprisonment for a murder of a man, I believed by the end of the story that Jarvis was innocent. I may be wrong. I KNOW he was not given a fair trial. I am surprised that he has not been pardoned for good behavior over such a long period. While in prison, so many influential people helped him cope using Buddhist techniques. I am not, nor ever, will be Buddhist. However, the fact that these people taught him self-calming techniques and positive imagery to do better and be better, especially under the worst of circumstances, is amazing. I took offense to the sentence that Jarvis said that only Buddha saves, and Jesus doesn't. He has it backwards. As a Christian, I know that is not true. Only God saves, and I pray that Jarvis is able to read my review somehow one day and question himself once again about God. You see, Buddhism may have very well have given him an inner peace. But Jarvis is not going to reincarnate when he dies. I believe even he scoffed at that notion. Jarvis needs to have the hope of good AFTER dying, that this world is not all there is to offer. Christianity offers a world ever after, with a mansion to himself so great that no one on earth can envision it. Streets of gold. No sickness, no sorrow. Meeting your loved ones again. Buddhist beliefs have you turn into something else. I don't want to turn into a tree when I die. Christianity becomes alive in a person when he or she accepts God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. It doesn't mean your life here on earth will be easy. It is the opposite, because Satan is fighting hard with God. Spoiler alert on this one: God wins. I have had many hopeless things happen in my life, and prayed and had miracles. If God doesn't answer a prayer, it may either be too soon, or not good for you. God can see into your future what you can't see. There is one prayer that God will always answer: to save you from a lifetime of Hell. You either choose God (the good side) or Satan (the bad side). This is a lifetime decision. You don't get do-overs once you die, which could be at any time, any day. It is important. You can be in prison, guilty as sin of killing 5000 people, but if you accept God - confess you are a sinner - and believe, you will go to Heaven. You will be in such a happy state, it can't even be described. You will belong. God your Ultimate Father will never reject you. He will never beat you. He will never neglect you. In fact, God will never do those things now. But if you lose favor and say you don't accept and believe in Him, you will be on Team Satan the rest of your life. Some people have seen glimpses of hell in near death experiences. You do not want to go. Extreme painful fire that will never kill you. Worms eating at you. Darkness, fear, snakes. You are always thirsty, and you will want to die, and can't. You will always be looking over at the land where people did love God and are rejoicing. Don't let that be you! I rated this book five stars, not due to religious beliefs presented, but because this book was raw, real, and Jarvis has become rehabilitated, even though the jury system won't at least let him go for that one reason. I also was fascinated with how Jarvis realized how blessed he was, even when he was not in a place where most would want to be. For instance, during the brief years he had kind foster parents, he noticed a bowl of fruit. When he grew up (as poor as his family was), they had a bowl of fruit for the children to eat. When he went to eat a piece of fruit that the foster parents had put out, it was the plastic fake kind. Jarvis felt let down, because even at his poorest, he knew he could get real fruit. Then, he described how one day he was in the back of a van, being transported to another prison facility. There was a traffic jam, so he sat up and observed. Everyone all around in their vehicles were observed to be showing stress in some kind of way, but Jarvis was happy to be there because most of his years were in solitary confinement where he didn't even see a blade of grass, and he was out and traveling, learning all the things he had missed, even about technology. I hope a sequel is written to this book with the title: Jarvis is Prepared For His Homecoming, about his after life to be with Christ (Jesus, God).… (altro)

On December 8, 1980, I had a date. I think it was my third or fourth date with this girl and I was at her place hanging out listening to music and drinking coffee Seriously, just coffee!. I don't what time it was when I left her house, but it was after midnight (EST), this I am sure of. As I normally did, I turned on the radio to WNEW- FM,, no Sirius/XM back then, a NYC rock station. They were playing a Beatles block which was not unusual. Seconds after driving away the DJ said that John Lennon had been shot and killed at The Dakota, he and Yoko's NYC home in Manhattan. 40 years later, I remember this moment as it was yesterday.

This book brings back that moment as if I was watching a high-def movie. The conversations contained herein are nothing short of historic, not just because of the subject, but because of what that subject was saying. John loved to talk. Here he opines on topics as mundane as food to deeply held beliefs about nuclear war, politics and religion. I vividly remember buying the December 1980 issue of Playboy and reading the abridged version of what was to become this book. The Playboy issue was published and delivered BEFORE John was killed. I still have that issue.

One does not need to be a fan of The Beatles or John Lennon for that matter, to enjoy this book. One needs to be curious about history, music and wants to get inside of won't of the true original minds of the 20th century. You may not agree with John's opinions and comments, but I can guarantee you you will find it hard-pressed to put this book down once you start it.… (altro)