Tara Parker-Pope

This book cited a ton of research on marriage and tried to organize and communicate the research results to readers in an interesting way. Most of the research results are not surprising. For example, research finds your marriage will be stronger if you avoid criticism and contempt of your spouse when you argue with or talk about each other. Research finds couples who argue in a healthy manner have stronger relationships than couples who rarely argue.....etc. Three findings that I personally find interesting include: 1. Sexual intimacy is so important to marriage that scholars recommend having frequent quickies rather than waiting for the perfect time/place/occasion; 2. "Romantic love," or what C. S. Lewis would call "Eros," can be rekindled in long-term couples if they try new and exciting activities together every week for a month or two; 3. Happiness level for individuals remain pretty much the same for the individual's lifetime regardless of income, education, marital status, or race. The book provided many questionnaires used by researchers to measure different aspects of marriage (eg. strength of (six types of) love, level of stress, sense of power....) and encouraged readers to use these questionnaires to gauge the health of their own relationship.… (altro)

Tara Parker-Pope’s new book about love and marriage has been getting a great deal of attention in the media, especially as she challenges the oft-quoted “50 percent of marriages end in divorce.” This perhaps is the hook of “For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage,” those who stop there are missing out. In three parts, Parker-Pope addresses factors which have positive impacts, negative impacts, and some combination of both. The first chapters address the fifty percent statistic, and how it has possibly impacted the way people think about marriage and divorce. She continues by looking at the concept of commitment and monogamy. There is, of course, a chapter on sex and its role in marriage, as well as chapters about fighting, children, and housework. Throughout the book, Parker-Pope cites studies of all sizes from a variety of sources, research from other countries, experts such as psychologists, anthropologists, doctors, professors, novelists, and so forth, totaling nearly two hundred citations. Interspersed through the book are “For Better” quizzes to help the reader analyze and understand some of the dynamics at play in their own relationships. These are also collected and printed together at the end of the text.

This book primarily focuses on marriage in North American society, although the author does draw on some studies from other countries. Also, there is not much commentary on the role of other family members (parents, siblings) on the marriage, nor is there much discussion about race and ethnicity, though she does address the difference in studies between heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Overall, this is a timely, well-researched book that will be helpful to many wanting to learn more about one of their most important relationships.… (altro)

It's amazing how culture can move forward in 7 years and render some elements of relationship books cringe-worthy. This isn't a terrible book, but it isn't very good either. Lots of areas worth skimming. Focuses on language assessments was worthwhile, especially in the area of constructive argument. Being a stay-at-home-dad reader renders a decent 1/3rd of the content laughable (personally), but probably more useful for historically conventional families. Grateful for science-oriented research rather than philosophy... but a lot of the author's personal opinions rule the roost.… (altro)