Beth Orsoff

I read Romantically Challenged by Beth Orsoth on my mother's recommendation. She cautioned me that it was "silly" but a fun read nonetheless.

The recommendation:

This book is a really quick read. It's simply written, and entertaining enough. It is most definitely the kind of book you take to the beach, and I wouldn't dissuade anyone from reading it for those purposes.

The "pan":

The book also has to be one of the most vapid pieces of writing I've ever read. The main character, Julie Burns, is a Jewish lawyer who has had trouble keeping boyfriends in the past. She's getting older, and wants to get married and have kids. Aside from being the usual combination of being both bitchy and a whiner, she is a complete cipher.

It's true that that a lot of the guys she dates are losers- but in my opinion, she deserves them. She's so focused on dating Jewish men, but there's no explanation for why other than that it would please her mother. Indeed, that seems to be her entire motivation for dating to begin with. In dating, marrying, and eventually having kids, it seems that all she's trying to do is escape her family's judgement.

She's a laywer, but she doesn't seem the least bit interested in her job. I understand that professionals often dislike their jobs, but she doesn't have to have any interest in anything else either. The only time she is really passionate is when she sues a company that screwed her out of a few hundred bucks. Apparently revenge is the only thing that gets her motor running.

I won't spoil the ending if any of you still want to read it, but let me say that the plot is so transparent it's practically air. I could tell from the first 20 pages of the book how it would end. As for plot points, there are a few amusing coincidences and some absurdly funny scenes, but they seem more or less strung together randomly. And of course, all plot points revolve around her relationships with men. Understandably so, since this is the point of the book. I suppose it's my fault that I don't find it particularily interesting.

Final Judgement:

The book itself is funny, but I can't get over what a horrible character Julie is. She's emotional, irrational, easily offended, and has no redeeming characterstics like wit or intelligence. Personally, I think the likeability of the protagonist (or at least, the antagonist) is central to the success of a book. This novel fails that miserably.… (altro)

Hmm. I could have sworn I'd read something else by this author, but nothing's showing up as read. Odd, that. And after this one here, I find it likely that I probably won't be trying another. Well no matter - my fifteenth Chick Lit book, and first by this author. Previous chick lit book review says that one is the 13th and the ones before that seem to line up. But this is the 15th one I've marked read. Not sure where the miscounting started.

From start to finish, I couldn't stand Lizzie Mancini. Not only super naive, and gullible, she also seemed to make the stupid decision almost every single chance she could. She didn't necessarily come off as stupid. No, more like she just didn't actively use her brain when it came time to actually make decisions. I'm probably the last person to say this but . . . she really is the kind of woman who needs someone next to her guiding her through life. Because, as I said, she's a bloody stupid decision maker.

Granted, I already knew this going in. That she was naive, stupid decision maker, etc. My eyes were open. I expected someone like that. I just also expected other things. Like, say, humor. Or, at the very least, romance. Sure, Lizzie was panting to fuck everyone around her, but that's not exactly the same thing as romance now is it (also, panting for, is not the same as actually doing)?

So. Her fiancé breaks off their wedding the night before (I think I recall it was the night before). So, she goes on her trip by herself. Because, gosh darn it, she did a ton of research and she just deserves to go. Not completely an out of the norm type response. I'm sure many go on the vacation anyway. But, even putting that down as a - maybe not stupid, maybe not naive, it still lead to everything else.

Being friendly with a man she just meets at the airport. A man she had no attraction to at all. Who she allowed to pick up her bag, and rolled her eyes at her friend when her friend reminded her not to allow that (you know, that 'not allowing strangers to touch your bags' thing). Apparently she can't say no. She's friendly, can't really fault her for that. She's a little too naive and gullible to be so open, or to allow herself to be so open, but can't fault her for being friendly. But. Even though they didn't have seats together on the plane, they end up sitting next to each other. Even though she wanted the empty row. And sleep. But no.

Then she agrees with him, this super creepy stranger, who gives off vibes of being a criminal to her friend Jane, to pretend to be a married couple at a resort. Because it'd just be couples there. You know what I noticed? No one would have given a fuck if she had just gone by herself and admitted everything (dumped, etc.). But, meh.

Then she meets some guy named Jack. The 'scuba boy'. Who she promptly thrusts herself at. And moons over. Good god, didn't she just have her heart broken? Oh, wait, 'fuck it out of her system, like men do'. Right, sorry.

Then there's Jane. I figured she was the smart one, what with her watching out for her friend at the airport. Almost successfully cock-blocking that 'drug dealer looking guy', and keeping him off of her bag. She made some other relatively smart comments near the beginning of the book. But every comment, thought, action, after that was down-right on the level of her friend Lizzie. Heck, occasionally she led Lizzie into stupid situations.

Now all of that could have been hilarious. I mean, there seems to have been the potential here for hilarity, action, and mystery. But . . .. The plot, despite being lead around by someone making stupid decisions, was coherent enough. The writing wasn't that bad. But every character annoyed me greatly. There was no humor. There was no romance, just a constant lust for a one night stand.

This was not a romance. This was not comical series of funny bad decisions. This was just tedious. To a certain extent, going in the way I did, I kind of expected a Lucy Ricardo bouncing around from one bad decision to another while creating much laughter and humor along the way to finding her Ricky. That'd have been great. Wasn't that either.

There were some vaguely cute moments with Fred the turtle, but that was basically that.… (altro)