Plum Johnson

This was an unexpected 5-star read for me. I received this in a box of books that had made its rounds through several states, each friend along the way putting in a few biographies/memoirs and taking out a few. As I went through the box last week, this one stood out to me and I set it aside to begin that night. I am SO glad I did---it really spoke to me.

My own mother's mother died at the very young (and getting younger all the time) age of 49. I was 7 years old and my mother was 30. I had no perspective at the time but, now looking back, I can't imagine how lost my mother must have felt losing her own so very young. It's heartbreaking, really. My mom didn't get a chance to go through her mother's things after she passed away and there probably wasn't a whole lot to disperse anyway. Grandma lived with us the last few months of her life and I'm sure mom held on to most everything she'd brought into our home during that time---at least for awhile.

Losing my mother will probably be different. I think about it sometimes---going through her stuff, I mean. I imagine her husband, dazed and crazy in his chair, watching nonsense on TV while I am locked in their bedroom crying and boxing up every. single. thing. to go through back at home by myself. Or maybe her husband has passed on first and it's just me. I imagine then that I'd lock myself inside and hermit for a few weeks as I slowly come to grips with all the beauty I want to remember and all the regrets I want to forget. Writing this out makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

Once a few years ago, my mom posted an article on Facebook about how my generation doesn't want to be left with all their parents' stuff. It said it would be better for retired/elderly parents to disperse their things early and donate the rest so it will just be a quick and easy wrap up for this generation of too-busy adult children. I was horrified. No. I want to be able to go through her things. I need that closure and that coming-to-grips. It is my right and a step of mourning that I don't want to be denied.

I was fascinated that Plum's mom had enough written correspondence, diaries, and more to fill up a room on her third floor. I wish my mom and I had more letters. We have years of daily Facebook messages---but that's not the same. I've decided I'll start copying them and printing them out, though. It's something. I do have several years of letters from my teenage years when we lived apart---but we were different people then. I don't want my grandchildren to have a skewed view of what our relationship was like. As Plum says, "What's going to happen to all our histories if computers crash? What happens when software formats change? Storing things is one thing. Retrieving them is a whole other matter...With computers, the more we think we have preserved, the more we may have lost." I don't know if the older generation realizes this. The written word on good old fashioned paper is still the most important form of communication in letters.

This book sparked so many thoughts and emotions in me. I feel like writing it all out would lessen the effect for the next reader. There's a lot I want my mom to get out of this book and I'm curious what her thoughts will be as she didn't have this experience with her mother. (Though I've heard some horror stories about my great-grandmother Annabelle...ha!) I'll be passing it along to her this week.… (altro)

I'm afraid that I found this book hard to get through but not for the reason that I thought. I thought it would be hard to read because we have just gone through similar stuff with my Mom's house. Although, not as grand a house, nor globe-trotting life. However, I was often frustrated by the narrator. The episodes where she thought that the house was speaking to her and her constant reminder that there was so much feeling in the house. A house is an inanimate object with no feelings. The fact that she didn't do anything about the squirrels or the mice drove me crazy and then voila, there is a hornet's nest in the ceiling. This did not surprise me at all. I was often times bored with the story, the details about who was taking what and who came to look at it I was thinking yes, let's get on with this. I did enjoy some of the history of her parents but that went on too long as well. My most consistent thought is that the narrator was just plain crazy so hence the rating.… (altro)

I wish I could give this book 10 stars. Before I review, I would like to suggest that anyone going thru grief,estate,dispersal, or a parent dying,this book is a good read for you. I was hesitant to read this book as this moment in time.Like the author,I am grieving the recent death of a parent and going thru the the process of grief and dispersal etc. Ironically, the locale for the author's family story is not far from my own home.It involves their long loved "cottage", all 23 rooms of it on the shores of Lake Ontario.The parents were unique and had a great story to learn about. The father strict but loving, the mother more eclectic. This turned out to be a cathartic read. Many of my own thoughts and emotions on loss and death confirmed by the author's own thoughts and feelings. Her story is one of family-love and struggle,ancestry,loyalty,faith,humour and survival.She and her siblings handled the entire grief and dispersal process , united as a family-unlike many families that seem to fall apart after the "glue" of the family passes away.I would recommend this book to anyone,but I found it especially comforting and insightful during my own process of grief. I think anyone in the same situation would also find comfort.This is one of those books that came into my life at just the right moment. (less)… (altro)