Mrs. Humphrey (–1925)

Manners for Women is said to be a 1993 reprint of the book of the same name published in 1897. At first, I wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t a parody of such a book, but Internet sources (at least) tell me otherwise. The word out there seems to be that this is the genuine article, although I’m still not entirely convinced.

What made me think it’s a satire of a manners book? Besides my naturally suspicious nature? Such ‘modern’ comments as:

(I)t would be a good day when a League for the Mitigation of Outlay on Marriages should be started …

Doubts aside, Manners for Women was enjoyable to hold and read: it measures 4″x7″ (10cmx20cm), is soft-covered & light, and printed on an ivory matte paper. The advice is interesting: said to be aimed at the middle or merchant class – those who did not have these manners ‘bred’ into them as the gentry did, but who wished to be able to hobnob with them. But the language has a modern feel to it, certainly not as ‘wordy’ as a newspaper or a magazine of the era, and seems many times to accommodate today’s sensibilities:

At this end of the century one is first a woman, then a possible wife. There is one’s own life to be lived, apart from the partnership that may be entered into by and by. The idea used to be that it was a wife’s duty to sink her individuality completely, and live only for her husband.

Really, were attitudes this enlightened then? If so, the author writes with wit and candor, and with foresight beyond her times.

postmanGenuine or a clever counterfeit, Manners for Women certainly shows that some things change:

In the country house there are usually but two, or at most three, postal deliveries daily, and the “rat-tat” [of the postman’s knock to pick up mail] is seldom, if ever, heard.

while others stay the same:

Nowadays (…) we live at such high pressure that it is only from friends living abroad that we ever expect a real letter.

Plus ce change plus c’est le meme chose

I’m looking forward to reading the author’s companion book “Manners for Men”.… (altro)