Anne Hooper

DORKING Kindersley (DK) is probably the most respected publisher of high-quality illustrated educational books in the world: they come in many formats and on a variety of subjects, and the hallmark is always intelligence and visual excellence.

Anne Hooper is “the world’s best-selling author of illustrated sex manuals” and DK has published at least 16 of her handy guides to the sexually challenged and, indeed, the erotically adventurous.

If the meat and potatoes of doing what comes naturally are not enough for you, then Hooper is your man. As it were.

But DK is not into porn, or even mild smut: the Pocket Karma Sutra may have provocative chapter headings such as Oral Sex Etiquette, with racy subsections such as Congress of the Crow, but the full-colour, photographic illustrations serving as a visual guide to these X-rated acrobatics are bland and sexless.

From The Twining of a Creeper to The Splitting of a Bamboo, we see the real-life equivalent of Barbie and Ken, engaging nude in a variety of shadowy and boring contortions, in a seemingly somnambulistic state.

The couple in the photographs are clean-cut and athletic, fit in every sense of the word — as they would have to be to pose for acts such as The Suspended Congress — but about as erotic as a third-hand bedpan.… (altro)

If anything, The Pocket Sex Guide is even less titillating than the Pocket Karma Sutra: here the couple is blonde, not brunette, but engaged in much the same clinical gymnastics, all photographed in hazy soft focus.

Now, the Kama Sutra implies a basic level of sexual knowledge and experience, while the Pocket Sex Guide is aimed at the virgin, and so has to depict actual genitalia (never so much as glimpsed in the more advanced guide) over a series of sections detailing sex organs, the g-spot, safer sex and masturbation.

But not to worry: the private parts are shown by using a set of diagrams only slightly more stimulating than the flat line on a heart monitor.

As further evidence that no actual organs of generation were touched in any way during the production of this book, the section on fellatio features line drawings — in which the woman is definitely asleep — while the illustration of the 69 position shows the female kissing the male’s chest, while he applies chaste lips to her lower abdomen.

It’s not quite all Barbie and Ken, though: since the Kama Sutra is too raw to attract timid beginners, the photographs are that much more revealing.

Nothing pornographic, of course, but, daringly, both couples have nipples rather than featureless mammary mounds on their chests.

The titles of these two pocket guides might attract teenagers with raging hormones, but won’t hold their interest for long — and I speak from experience since mine put the little volumes down after just a brief glance and a contemptuous ejaculation of “boring!” — since there is more erotic edification to be had on the back page of the Sunday Times.

DK produces illustrated educational books: Hooper may be the author of sex manuals, but to get the benefit of her advice you will have to read the text. That’s where the good stuff is hidden.

Despite chapters on erotic fantasies and illustrations of positions like The Frog, these are not books you are likely to find hidden beneath your son’s mattress (or your daughter’s) surrounded by suspicious stains.

If informative, high-quality illustrated sex education’s your game, Hooper’s DK range is the name: for anything stronger, consult the adult entertainment section of your local DVD rental shop.… (altro)