Joe Darger

I guess I've read enough books on polygamy by now that I just expect more than what I received with this one.

The writing is nondescript... just flat. The same events are rehashed multiple times. This memoir didn't have a proper climax and conclusion, so it was hard to care about what the Dargers were going to say next.

As far as their success in sharing their beliefs.... well, I was a little confused. They state that they are fundamentalist Mormons, but then they say many other things that are in complete contradiction with their own religion, making it seem as if truth is relative. For example, in defending polygamy, Vicki states, "It works for some people to live together, for some to be married, and for some to love another person of the same sex." p 179

I guess when I read religious memoirs, I expect the authors to understand their own faith and practice of it a little better than the Dargers seemed to.… (altro)

This book was suggested to me while I was reading "Sister Wives" by the Brown family. Just like with that book, I enjoyed this book a lot, too. I have long been curious about modern polygamy, so it was really interesting to read.

I liked this book better than the one written by the Browns, because this one was more forthcoming and honest about the stuff we "regular" people REALLY want to know. You know, all those questions that make us look like prying jerks if we actually ask them. At the same time they covered a lot of other stuff too that really provides an insight into how they live, and takes away the mystery that can lead to a negative view of them. This book also included a few chapters by some of the older children about what it was like to be children in that type of family, which I appreciated as well.

Overall, a good book. I gave it one more star than the Brown book because this one was written better and had more information, and I would consider it an excellent book for anyone that wants to learn more about this lifestyle.

I would say you do need to have an interest or curiosity about polygamy, though, or this book (and the other one) would probably be pretty boring to you.… (altro)

Love Times Three is the true story of the Darger family. They are Independent Fundamentalist Mormons living in plural marriage. Yes, another polygamy book! The Dargers are unique even among polygamists in that Joe Darger married his first two wives, Vicki and her cousin Alina, at the same time. Usually polygamists wait at least a year after their first marriage before they take a second wife. Then, even more unusual, Joe married Vicki’s identical twin Valerie ten years later. All together the Darger’s have 24 children, which includes Val’s five from a previous marriage. (One child died in infancy so 23 children are living.)

I first heard of the Dargers when they appeared on the TV show Sister Wives a couple of weeks ago in an episode where they take a vacation with the Brown family. (Of course I immediately Googled them and that’s how I found out they have a book out.) Apparently, they’ve been friends with the Browns for a couple of years. Like the Browns, they are trying to take the stigma out of being polygamists by going public with their lifestyle.

I appreciated that this book went more in depth on the religious reasoning behind polygamy. Joe and his wives quote Mormon scripture as well as other important church documents like the Doctrine and Covenants when explaining the Principle of polygamy and why they have chosen the live the Principle. (Polygamy is also referred to as the Principle, plural marriage, or celestial marriage.) Also, in the back of the book, the different Fundamentalist Mormon communities are listed with a brief description that includes where they are located and what makes them different from each other.

I don’t want this review to turn into a theological debate but I feel I have to point out one inconsistency I found with the Principle as I understand it: People who live the Principle will achieve the highest level of heaven and live together as a family for all eternity. The Principle helps women to become more Christ-like, and thus deserving of the highest level of heaven, because sharing their husbands will help them overcome petty emotions like jealousy and ultimately make them more selfless people. It’s a daily sacrifice. However, even though this is the sixth book on polygamy I’ve read, I can’t figure out how living the Principle makes men more Christ-like. The only thing this book said was that Joe didn’t have any time for hobbies or outside interests because he had so many wives and kids that he needed to spend time with. It seems imbalanced to me.

That said, how consenting adults choose to live is with me as long as no one gets hurt. The Dargers make a good point that many of the abuses that occur in polygamist communities may occur because of the secretive life polygamists are forced to live. If they could live openly, perhaps the abuse would be harder to cover up.

I liked that three of the Dargers’ older children (one from each mom) contributed to the book. Most accounts I’ve seen from children who grew up in polygamy are negative ones where the children suffered abuse. The Dargers’ children seem happy and well-adjusted.

Like the Browns, the Dargers seem to be on the more liberal side of Fundamentalist Mormonism. As I am still quite intrigued with the polygamist lifestyle, I enjoyed this peek into the Dargers lives. Recommended for Nosy Rosies like me.… (altro)