Lavinia Collins

I am mystified by the praise and adoration in these other reviews. Did these other reviewers read a completely different book than I did?

Basically, all of my issues with this book can be summed up in three major complaints that, combined, cause it to fail miserably. Made it halfway through and abandoned. I've read many books on Arthurian legend, and this is the worst rendition of it that I've read.

**minor spoilers**

1) Sloppy, inconsistent, and inexcusably inappropriate character development.

ARTHUR - Arrogant, ignorant, and uninspiring. How did such an idiot become the king of all Britain?

The morning after the wedding night, Arthur plays a cruel joke on Kay for apparently no reason, where he pretends to not be in his room. Because they are all (even Arthur) still suffering from PTSD with regard to the recent war, Kay interprets this as Arthur having been murdered by his new bride. So, what does Kay do? Breaks down the door, which Arthur thinks is, like, totally amusing! Arthur knew something like that would bother Kay, so why didn't he just answer the door, especially when he is always jumpy himself and must know the panic Kay would be feeling and could predict what his reaction would be? I guess it’s supposed to be a funny scene meant to build Kay’s character as a hothead or something, but it makes no sense and is just not funny at all—mostly, I just felt sorry for Kay.

Arthur doesn't know how to read, or has only just learned to read and still struggles with it. I cannot see how that is realistic at all. Even before everyone realized he is to be the king of all Britain, Arthur was a foster boy who grew up in a lord's house and was treated like a true son by those who lived there, so the idea that he would not have been given at least some tutoring in how to read and write makes no sense to me. I am not sure what point of this is. Is it setup for a future plot point? Is it supposed to add to the child-like appeal the author seems to be trying to generate? It is supposed to give Arthur a "flaw"? I can't imagine him doing all the things he has done, yet being unable to read, because that would leave him open to being taken advantage of, or ignorant of, important information and dealings. You cannot be the king of all Britain and be unable to read. It just doesn't mesh.

Arthur forgets the name of his own sword. Are you kidding me? I am pretty sure that if I pulled a sword out of a damned stone, I'd remember the sword's name, regardless of whether I could read at the time. I got the idea that this fact was supposed to endear him to us somehow, like it's another strained attempt at giving him a "flaw" so he seems more human or to show how nonchalant he is about having a sword like that and accomplishing everything he has done at such a young age. Plus, right after he says that, Guinevere thinks in her mind that no villager (likely over half of whom wouldn’t be able to read themselves, so being unable to read isn’t an excuse for Arthur’s lack of memory about it) ever forgot the name of the sword, which just makes Arthur's statement that he can't remember it even more absurd. You can't be an idiot and do what Arthur has done. Again, it just doesn't mesh.

The whole reason Arthur decides to marry Guinevere is unclear. Marriage for him in his situation would have been no joke and not something to take lightly, yet it seems that he really put no thought into it at all. She is already past her prime (more on that later), there seems to be no political benefit to the match, she is not very likeable or smart, and it's not like Arthur had no choice in whom to marry--he could've had any woman in his whole kingdom, yet he picks this Guinevere for a reason that seems not just selfish (he gives some lame excuse about his past and somehow Guinevere is going to protect him from the incestuous mistake he made) but silly. I don't get it, and there hasn't really been a further explanation of this even 50% into the book.

Arthur would not even see Guinevere the first day she arrived, even though she was supposed to marry him the very next day. It wasn't like he was enduring war-related activities, meeting other delegates, or tending to an emergency. Nope. "Sorry I couldn't meet you, but I wanted you to help me with this thing that happened in my past because I sense you are magical." Okay... but that still doesn't explain why he childishly hid from her or what the benefit is to him and his kingdom in marrying her, so it came off more like a contrived circumstance to create suspense.

GUINEVERE – Weak, inconsistent, and not very intelligent. Not queenly or warrior-like at all.

I do not admire or like Guinevere at all. She has no redeemable qualities. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: If I cannot relate to, respect, or even like the protagonist on any level, I have no interest in what happens to them or what they might accomplish.

Oh, Guinevere, a warrior you are not. There are women warriors, they can be badass, and I've read books about just such things! But this author did not build Guinevere's character up in a way that was even remotely convincing in that direction. The first thing that happens in the book (after a painfully artful description light filtering through Guinevere’s eyelashes because she, of course, fell asleep in the forest, which is what all warrior women do, I guess) is that we learn that Guinevere’s mother went off to fight Arthur, leaving Guinevere and her father behind. The mother subsequently, and predictably, dies. There is no explanation of why her father does not go to war or why it was all up to her mother to save their village. So, now her father seems weak and unlikable and I’m preoccupied with the confusion over Guinevere’s supposed warrior mother. There is this contrived circumstance to explain why Guinevere sees herself as such a “warrior,” but the author couldn’t take the time to actually explain its significance and background to root it more firmly in our minds so it is believable. It’s like the author had an idea of what she wanted Guinevere to be in her mind, and kept assuming that we have all the information she does, and so therefore never fully realizes Guinevere’s character for us in this area—even though this whole book is about Guinevere being a WARRIOR queen. Because of this, I did not believe Guinevere going off to war and her fighting next to Arthur was realistic, either from a historical perspective, a changing-things-up perspective, or a character-building perspective. I quit reading when she predictably got injured by being underfoot.

Guinevere is a few years older than Arthur (I got the idea that maybe Guinevere is 19-20 and Arthur is 16-17). This isn’t realistic. I can't imagine Arthur marrying a woman who is already past her prime, particularly when he needs heirs. This is hundreds of years ago, even over a thousand years ago, depending on which versions of the myth you look at. A woman in her late teens/early 20s in that day and age was basically middle-aged by then and likely had already given birth to most, if not all, of the children she was going to have--assuming she lived through the births at all.

The endless contradictions and waffling centered around Guinevere and her very changeable nature, which is mostly centered around her "feelings" for Arthur, all of which were negative until she found out he was (arguably—the sex scenes were numerous but “meh”) a good lover. Since Arthur hid that first day, they had only known each other for a few hours before it was time to consummate the marriage, and in that time Arthur did nothing meaningful to change her mind about who he is and he still basically killed all of her family and her entire village with his war. Yet, after bitching and moaning for days and days (maybe weeks—who knows because, like I said, I couldn’t keep track of the passing of time in this book) that she has resolved to hate Arthur because he is a child and a murderer, Guinevere is seduced by him after one kiss, and sleeps with him three times their first night together and again the next morning. In five minutes, she falls into his bed, falls in love with him, and completely falls out of line with her own values and beliefs. How is that a strong woman, to basically forget who you are so easily? The strained attempt to build sexual tension by not seeing each other that first day or with the scene of them battling what wits they have before they sleep together for the first time was obvious, painful, and failed utterly. I'm not saying that growing to love (or at least tolerate) Arthur eventually wouldn't have made sense, but the author did not have the patience for a realistic transition of Guinevere's feelings, so Guinevere comes off as weak and easily manipulated.

When Merlin killed the baby and sealed her womb from other children, I was just like WTF. First of all, she just laid there and let it happen. I am not a mom, but I couldn't imagine just lying there placidly while someone kills my unborn baby, particularly after they just announced that is what they are going to do! Second of all, why is Guinevere stupidly wandering ALONE around the castle, anyway, in such a vulnerable condition when she knows there are people--witches!--around who don't like her?

2) Poor timing and pace make this story disorienting and patchy to read.

It reads like the sex scenes were written first, then they decided to add an Arthurian theme to make it sell and filled it in around the sex. I don't mind sex scenes, but in this book many of the sex scenes don't make sense, felt disingenuous, and they are used to carry the whole book. Which is probably why the world-building attempts failed for me entirely, like they were an afterthought, which made the story completely lack charm.

The first 25% of the book seemed to happen in two days, but then all of a sudden Guinevere's reminiscing with Arthur that they've been together four days, and I was like, Where did the other two days go? I only remember them sleeping one night. Or, when Guinevere travels to meet Arthur, it seems like she was in a boat for a few hours after riding a horse for a few hours, but then they talk about it later as if it was supposed to have been an arduous journey of many weeks.

The first 50% reads as if it had to be told in 20,000 words or less, like the author is hurrying to tell the main basics of the traditional story and get that out of the way so she can get to her own interpretation. Huge plot points and key parts of the legend kept happening just to happen and did not fit together, or were hastily explained as having already happened to fill in gaps, like the author wrote something and was like, "Darn I didn't explain that other thing before talking about this thing, so I'd better explain that other thing now." All of this culminates in it feeling like a bunch of short stories plopped into chapter form with no transitions.

3) Nonsensical plot changes that aren't supported by either the timing or the characters.

All that stuff with the table, give it a rest! A magical table... that you lay on... and make wishes on... We had to hear about it over and over and over. I still don't really get that, particularly the wishing part of it, and most particularly when Guinevere says something like, "Oh, my feelings about Arthur have changed, but I'm not yet willing to take back my wish about wanting him dead." Whhhuuuut. Later (but who knows how much later because I couldn't keep track of time in this story), Guinevere takes her wish back and does it within Arthur's hearing, basically admitting to him that she had previously wished for his death on her wishing table--and he is TOTALLY OKAY with it and doesn't say a word. I guess this is supposed to show how much he loves her, that he will forgive her anything, including basically committing treason, and have nothing to say about it. Instead of showing me how far their relationship has come, it just made me roll my eyes. I'm guessing Merlin and Morgan hate Guinevere so much because they knew she would wish for Arthur's death and her wish will come true in the end and it's all Guinevere's fault that Arthur dies. And if THAT wish comes true on the wishing table, then why was her baby killed by Merlin (while she is resting on the magical table itself, even!) instead of being born healthy when she had wished for a healthy baby on her magical wishing table? And if the table is the whole problem, why don't they just get rid of it or destroy it?

In other versions I've read, Arthur's inability to meet with her that first day (for political reasons) is what introduces Guinevere to Lancelot and that is how their courtly romance starts, but in this version it is Kay who goes to fetch her, and so now she appears to be interested in Kay. So far we have an Arthurian legend book... without Lancelot. Is this seriously Arthurian legend without Lancelot, and instead it seems that Guinevere might fall for the king's foster brother? Unfortunately, even though I'm kind of curious about that part, I cannot subject myself to any more of this series to find out if Lancelot enters into the book later or to see if she sleeps with both Kay and Lancelot, in addition to Arthur. I almost wished Guinevere would sleep with Kay even if that has never happened in any other version of Arthurian legend I've read just so I could stop hearing about how she is drawn to him (and maybe she does, but, again, I'll never find out because I can't stand another moment of this book).

Tried way too hard to be magical and mystical and never got to the point of it all. So much talk about the "Otherworld" and isn't Kay delightful but also dark and scary and forbidden because he is Otherworldy, flutter-flutter. Despite the fact that this is being built up as some sort of major plot point, I was halfway in and I still didn’t know what the Otherworld nonsense is really about or how Guinevere can supposedly protect Arthur from his past mistake with her Otherworldy magic, which she hasn’t even displayed as having yet (unless all the nonsense with the magical wishing table is her displaying her Otherworldy magic).… (altro)

If this was an attempt to re-create Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Mists of Avalon, it ended up as a failure. Morgan tries to come to surface as an interesting character, but all the rest are unsympathetic. Even Morgan comes across as irritating , not to mention the intercourse that takes place every other chapter...A book that has little to do with the story of Arthur and all the other characters we have come to love. It went to my never-finished self when I reached 41% of the book, since life is too short and the TBR pile is so crowded.… (altro)