Alexandra Billings

I rediscovered what goodness truly meant and learned each night that without forgiveness of both oneself and others, one cannot ever truly fly free.

The memoir of Scott Shanté Alexandra Billings cannot be reviewed without their own words coming first.

This Time for Me touched me personally in places I would never had expected. Although Alexandra's life is different than mine, there are universal themes about Humanity that they speak of in such a way as to bring up hurts buried under lock and key.

"The man behind the curtain began to shriek and demand attention. Everything was not perfect. Not us, and not me. So we lied . ."

From the age of 4 or 5, Scott was aware that their happiness was based upon pleasing his mother, Mimi. Yet, they just wanted to dress in Mimi's clothes and makeup. Scott's father, a violent man, reinforced the danger they lived in.

"I was the Transgender child in the house, and my life revolved around secrecy and fear."

Scott survived because of their best friend, Chrisanne and her total acceptance of them. By the time they were 14, Scott was out on the streets of Chicago looking for answers and a place to fit in. Their first transformation was into a Drag Queen called Shanté.

"I had to discover that there was something more than me pretending to be someone I wasn’t."

Although Shanté made friends for life, found an acceptance they had never had, they learned that there was much more to themselves than just roleplaying. An inner actor and highly creative person was, quite literally, dying to get out.

"We’re no longer called Transsexuals. We’re called Transgender.” “Sounds like a detergent.”

Talking to their mentor, Shanté realizes that, although they can laugh about it, the transformer of themselves is still in progress. Changing their name legally to Alexandra Scott Billings, they start taking acting classes.

What I haven't spoken of yet, is the dehumanizing and degradating events Scott/Shanté goes through to to make it to this point in their life. I was heart broken and disgusted at the way Humanity gets away with treating others in the name of the law.

"There's more than enough time, we have more than enough money, and you are the light.”

Alexandra finally finds an ally, an acting professor who is willing to help them dig past the layers of lies, false identities and protections they have barriered themselves under. Alexandra, a person of color and a transgender person is the first assistant professor at the University of California at Long Beach.

Read this book! I'm not going to review the ending because it's incredible, awe-inspiring and one of the most hopeful stories I've read lately. It took me 5 days to recover from reading it to calmly write this review. I hope it touches you as well.… (altro)