Russell A. Barkley

We have an adult son who has self diagnosed himself with ADHD. Although I am not keen on any psychological self diagnosis, having read this book I can see why he is tempted to believe this to be the case.

I found the book very helpful, particularly the sections on the consequences of untreated ADHD, the impact of adult ADHD on the loving ones, helping your loved ones to get professional help and how to help your loved one understand and accept adult ADHD.

Obviously i found the chapters on living with an adult with ADHD less useful, but I’m sure that for a spouse/partner these contain valuable strategies.

Overall then, four stars.… (altro)

This book started off okay and then went downhill for me. I believe it could possibly be helpful for some people, but it was not particularly helpful for me. I think part of the problem I had with it is that it focused primarily on a very stereotypical hyperactive manifestation of ADHD from the male perspective and I cannot relate to that lived experience, so much of it was just not relevant for me. However, I had some other issues with it as well.

The author sometimes comes across as patronizing. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Does he really believe we are all so severely incapacitated that we cannot even ___?” It also seemed like he equates having ADHD with a lack of character and integrity and in his examples of women with ADHD, it started to feel like he was painting them all as floozies with zero self-control. He definitely broad-brushes people throughout the book. For example, on page 253, he says, “Because you have ADHD symptoms in place of innate conscientiousness, you’re…” I had a major problem with this because when tested by a psychologist with a Big 5 personality test, my trait conscientiousness tested notably above average. I have very high trait conscientiousness. To assume that I don’t just because I have an ADHD diagnosis is, honestly, kind of offensive.

Further, some of his recommendations seemed unrealistic. For example, one of his suggestions is to ask your supervisor at work if you can meet with them “several times a day” to keep you on track with getting your work done and reaching your goals. This kind of having to “report in” to someone multiple times each day, while perhaps a good strategy for some people, would drive me nuts and make me feel like I was being micromanaged. I can’t imagine a request to do so going over well with a supervisor who just wants me to get my work done, not babysit me. He also recommends having a parent manage your money for you. Keep in mind this book is directed to adults. Learning to manage your money well and responsibly is part of being a functioning adult and you are capable of doing it even if you have ADHD. It might take a little more effort and more frequent reminders to keep on top of it, but most people do not need to rely on their parents to do it for them. There are many resources Barkley could have recommended to help someone learn money management instead of recommending handing finances off to a parent. What about when one doesn’t have a living parent or a parent dies or gets sick and the responsibility falls back on you? Let’s not forget, too, that if you don’t want to learn do it yourself, you can hire a professional.

He definitely seems to paint people with ADHD quite negatively and stereotypically, i.e. not being able to pay bills on time, always speeding and driving recklessly, incapable of discipline or self-control, frequently overspending, addicted to substances, etc. I’m not saying these characteristics never describe anyone with ADHD, but neither I nor anyone I know with ADHD presents this way, so I think it is far from the stereotypical norm he seems to place on everyone.

Lastly, the author emphasizes evaluating sources of information and looking for citations when reading about ADHD, which is great, except that he doesn’t follow his own advice. He frequently makes claims that are not cited and in the back of the book where citations should be, he basically says the book is based on thousands of studies (none of which he bothers to cite), then recommends another of his books.

The section on medications is helpful if you have not yet become familiar with the different options currently available for treatment. The author definitely prefers this method of treatment and does not go into much detail on alternative methods for managing symptoms.… (altro)