Dur e Aziz Amna

Beautifully written, Dur e Aziz Amna debut novel is a thought-provoking coming-of-age about a Pakistani Muslim on a year-long exchange program in rural Oregon. As a narrator, sixteen-year-old Hira is both skeptically witty and disturbingly judgemental, but, above all, honest to what she feels and wants and thinks; even when she doesn’t say it out loud. Being far from home, in a strange country that fears our own and doesn't see us as we always have, is terrifying. Even more if we are sick with a disease that consumes us without us even noticing so. How can we embrace the unknown and discover who we are‌ far from what we've always known, when our body has no energy and homesickness takes what's left of it?

The idea a person can visit the United States and not see the appeal of it seems to strike Americans as strange, which is why I understand why there are so many unfavorable opinions of Hira. But as Portuguese, one thing I am most proud of is being informed about the world—other nationalities and cultures—and to be open to them. In short, of being the opposite of what most of Portuguese people imagine the USA to be. I've never been there, and I always wanted to go; it's a dream I still nourish, but as an outsider I am a spectator of events that reinforce my belief—maybe wrong, I concede—that the USA feels superior to the entire world, and is incapable of looking outside without fear, distrust or pity.

That said, I understand why Hira spent so much time making critical and slightly arrogant comments about the United States and its people. Aside from being a teenager and suffering from the know-it-all mania like all self-respecting teenagers, Hira knows perfectly that, to some extent, she is not and never will be welcome for some people. And the idea of not belonging to a place where we always dreamed of being is infuriating. There's also the fact that Hira is too busy internally battling with who her parents want her to be and who she truly is. Between teenage angst and a frightening illness, she doesn't have much time left to let herself be immersed in the experience she volunteered for‌. But it's not like she goes back home the way she left.

Personally, I believe Hira learned something about herself and her relationship with others and the world, even if only in hindsight. The period between adolescence and becoming of age is full of challenges and growing pains; it is a time of confusion, struggle and loss—in more ways than one. But is also exciting; and I felt we get a little of that too, especially through her first love interest and the way she gained self-confidence to rebel a little against the rules and expectations she grew up with. And then, there’s the fact that Hira is also extremely observant, which gives us a glimpse into what social issues like racism, paternalism and Islamophobia look like to the ones who are more affected by it.

As you can expect by now, I truly enjoyed this reading. And the only reason I don’t give it five stars is because I wanted more closure for Hira; I think there were many things left unsaid to her parents. But, as we learn far in life, there are many things we leave unsaid, even to ourselves.

I received an eARC for free, through Edelweiss, and I am leaving this honest review voluntarily.… (altro)