Sherry Argov

I read the first half and skimmed the rest. I agree with the author's basic premise-- that women should not make men the centre of their lives, that they should be financially independent, that they should enter relationships on their own terms. However, instead of writing a book about that, the author chose to share a whole bunch of manipulative little tricks that she believes women should use in their relationship in order to make the man stay. Are you kidding me? What kind of relationship would it be if you were constantly playing mind games with your significant other??

Some of the advice in this book is terrible-- for example, the story of the woman who, in order to avoid doing her boyfriend's laundry, deliberately threw in a red sweater along with his white underwear and dyed them all pink. He got so pissed off at her that he yelled at her that he'll never let her do his laundry again. Seriously? I don't see how this would make a man respect you more. Sure, the woman got out of doing his laundry with her "clever" trick, but if I were the guy, I'd think she was an idiot for not being able to do something really simple, and it would make me lose respect for her. I'm pretty sure there are other ways of letting him know you won't be doing his laundry that don't involve pissing him off on purpose. Actually, the more I think about this, the more that woman comes off as incredibly immature to me. And Sherry Argov thinks we should all be striving for this kind of relationship?? Whatever happened to actual communication and talking things out?

On the other hand, I do agree that women shouldn't be nagging, needy, or mother-like in their treatment of men. Argov is right when she stressed that women should have their own lives outside of their relationship. She emphasizes the need for independence, and her explanation of her use of the word "bitch" really shows that she is talking about strong, independent women who go after the things they want and live life on their own terms. (And I have to say, I do like the story about the woman who leaves for the weekend to spend time with her friends and family whenever her husband is being a little distant. Her husband is back to his usual loving self when he comes back, and proves that a little space and interests outside your relationship can make it stronger.)

I think where she goes wrong is by creating a false dichotomy between the "nice girl" (who does everything for the man) and the "bitch" (who expects the man to cater to her). Very few people are at either extreme, and really, I don't think you should be at either extreme. Argov argues that being the nice girl doesn't benefit you, but neither does being a total bitch. I think the point is to be your own person, but also learn to bend a little to the other person's needs as well-- a balance of sorts.

Anyway, this book is really a mixed bag of advice. I wouldn't recommend it, as I'm sure there are books that say the same thing (be your own person) without promoting manipulative head games.… (altro)

[‎Tuesday, ‎October ‎16, ‎2012] A friend of mine recommended this book to me. I felt lost and angry and bitter when it came to guys so the only way to overcome this phase according to my friend was reading this smart book.

Let me tell you this, my friend was right. That was fun to read and it gave me another take in the world of men and how they think. I haven't read book 1 but I heard they are slimier so there is no point.

In any case, this is a good book. I recommend it to girls and women.… (altro)