Battle lines have been drawn. It’s the North vs. the South once again. But this time it’s the Bay Area Brahmins against the Angelenos; the cultured vs. the philistines; old money vs. new; literary vs. blockbuster; irrelevant vs. fabulous. Fortunately, this war hasn’t produced any casualties, but rather a vast cache of stinging barbs, witticisms, and droll commentary on life and meaning in Southern California alongside haute attitude and preciousness in Northern California. Twain’s infamous shot at L.A. ("a great place to live, but I wouldn’t want to visit there") is matched by Gertrude Stein’s enduring slam on Oakland ("there’s no there there"). Of course, there are other fronts in this timeless clash — San Francisco vs. East Bay; Berkeley vs. Hollywood; the San Fernando Valley vs. Civilization — and Jon Winokur has visited them all in this hilarious compendium of cultural dish from the front lines.