TW: Graphic violence, death, racism, grieving, mental illness (OCD)

I love the title of Hanna Alkaf’s The Weight of Our Sky. And after you read it, I think you will too. This phrase comes from a Malaysian saying that is brought up several times in the book, “Di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung,” basically meaning “where we plant our feet is where we must hold up the sky.” And as Melati says:

We live and die by the rules of the land we live in. But this country belongs to all of us! We make our own sky, and we can hold it up— together.

Plot:

The Weight of Our Sky is set during and surrounding the 13 May Incident and race riots in Malaysia in 1969. As the Opposition parties made gains in the general election, racial tensions came to a rise on the 13th. Melati, our Malay protagonist, gets caught in these riots while she is in town with her best friend. From there, Melati ends up being separated from her mother and it becomes increasingly difficult to try and make her way back.

Adding to all of this the fact that Melati has OCD means that for her, it is both an internal and external struggle to survive and keep her mother safe. Because not much was known about mental illness at this time in Malaysia, Melati does not know why she has OCD symptoms and she ends up believing that she is possessed by a Djinn. Her obsessions manifest in graphic visions of her mother dying in infinitely grotesque ways. The one thing that really seems to help these thoughts stay at bay, along with her accompanying compulsions, is music. In particular, The Beatles.

While trying to make her way back to her mother, Melati meets a Chinese family that is able to help her. And, more than help, they seem to show understanding and care towards her regardless of the rising racial tensions throughout Kuala Lumpur at the time. But Melati is scared that even so, they wouldn’t be able to accept her if they knew about her Djinn.

Characters:

Alkaf places an intimate focus on Melati, allowing us to get a real sense of how OCD affects her. We know how often she obsesses over her mother’s safety, how she must endure the never ending visions of her mother’s death, how she exhausts herself daily to push these thoughts and images away and keep them from actually happening, and how guilty she always feels when something bad happens anyways.

As the rioting continues, we begin to see how the stress of Melati’s environment makes her OCD tendencies worse. However, Melati must also overcome a lot to survive and save those she cares about. In doing so, she begins to feel like, for the first time, that maybe she can fight back against her Djinn.

Because Alkaf focuses so closely on Melati, we don’t get to see the other characters be fleshed out very much (this also may have something to do with the length of the novel, as it is on the shorter side at 288 pages). However this didn’t really bother me that much because Melati’s character was done so well, plus it was honestly refreshing to get a single person’s POV the whole time since so many of the books I read are multiple POVs now.

Background:

I love how this is a YA #ownvoices book released in the US that has a Malaysian MC and focuses on Malaysian history and culture. I honestly don’t know too much about Malaysia and I definitely don’t know much about the country’s history, so I had no idea about the events that this book was based on before reading it. However, this book encouraged me to look more into this particular historical event.

I really appreciate that while the author of this book stays very true to the horrific events that occurred in these riots, she makes sure to also show how the goodness and hope in some people was able to shine through in these dark times. Some people were willing to put themselves in danger in order to help someone else, and even in cases where they were helping someone of a different race like what happened in The Weight of Our Sky. I think this story really points out how sometimes it is in the bleakest times and when people are going through a lot of adversity that they will really be able to find their true strength and bravery and finally be able to take a stand.

Playlist:

I made a music playlist inspired by this book. I included all The Beatles songs that are mentioned, but I also included some of my own choices that I feel really express some of the ideas in The Weight of Our Sky. This playlist is on Apple Music but I have also copied a text version of the list below:

1. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles
2. Trapped in my Mind by Kid Cudi
3. She Loves You by The Beatles
4. Migraine by Twenty One Pilots
5. We Can Work it Out by The Beatles
6. Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson
7. Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles
8. Music by Mystery Skulls
9. Twist and Shout by The Beatles
10. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother by The Hollies
11. Imagine by John Legend
12. Here Comes the Sun by Yuna

Final Thoughts:

I read Hanna Alkaf’s The Weight of Our Sky as a buddy read with my friend Kat
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ( )

This book is based on 1 of our darkest days in Malaysian history. Told from Melati’s point of view, from the moment her best friend was killed in the cinema to being saved by a kind Chinese auntie and her family and then reuniting with her mom in the end. A turbulent ride indeed!
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This is my first read from this author and I did like the way she portrays the story which was filled with nail biting incidents. Being a Malaysian, I definitely can imagine and relate to the scenes as harrowing as it maybe. I was brought back to the days of Rex Cinema, Kampung Baru, Batu Road… it was so engaging that I couldn’t put it down!
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I have heard the tales from my parents and uncle when I was young (they had also endured those hard times way back then) so reading this sort of affirmed the ugliness 😅 I know this is a work of fiction but it’s based on the true story hence struck a chord with me.
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Melati’s mental illness is so raw and real, a taboo not many people will write or read or even own up having. OCD or not, this is real and I’m glad that the author has written it as straightforward and truthfully.
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I pray that we will live in peace and harmony forever. I pray that the minor disgruntled humans will dissipate forever. I pray that we will cherish and appreciate our lives until we die. I’ve always preached this to anyone who will hear me - We only live once so live our lives to the fullest! ( )

Two aspects make this a particularly unique read, first that it’s set in 1960’s Malaysia during conflict between Malays and Chinese, a time and place I haven’t read about in fiction before, nor have I read a book where the heroine navigates obsessive compulsive disorder in what is essentially a war zone.

Melati’s obsessive compulsive disorder plays a huge role here, it’s with her on nearly every page, at odds with cultural beliefs that require her to keep her condition hidden and worsened by the conflict around her and her fears for her loved ones in danger. Melati’s thoughts frequently spiral to dark places, providing readers with a strong sense of how difficult and draining life must be with a mental health issue.

With war weighing so heavily in our real life news right now understandably the subject matter here might feel like too much for some, however, I did want to mention that the book has some heartening moments where you see characters in crisis come together to help one another, providing shelter, protection, and other forms of aid.

While this book left me wanting to know more about where someone I adored ended up, and there was the occasional moment where characters were conveniently in the right place at the right time, it was easy enough to overlook those minor quibbles when there was so much else to appreciate in this novel, particularly the bonds between characters whether those established prior to the conflict or those that came about in heightened circumstances, the emotion of those connections drove the story as much as the page turning action did. ( )

Very readable with great pacing but it reads more like middle-grade than YA. ( )

The story follows Melati Ahmad, a Malay teenager during the 1969 racial violence. She is forcibly separated by rioters from her friend at the movies, and is sheltered by an older Chinese woman , who takes her into her home, treating her as family. Melati wants to go home to be reunited with her mother, but it is not safe so she tries to adapt. Meanwhile, Melati suffers from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and believes her anxiety is the doing of an evil djinn. While I thought Alkaf does a good job describing Melati's suffering and worries, it is at the expense of the rest of the story: the background and progression of the racial strife and the rest of the characters outside of the harboring Chinese family. The presence of the djinn seemed contrived unlike the real concern for others, regardless of their race, demonstrated repeatedly by Auntie Bee, Uncle Chong, Vince and Melati. ( )