Excerpt: ...Mrs. MALAPROP That's you, sir. ABSOLUTE Reads. Has universally the character of being an accomplished gentleman and a man of honour.-Well, that's handsome enough. Mrs. MALAPROP Oh, the fellow has some design in writing so. ABSOLUTE That he had, I'll answer for him, ma'am. Mrs. MALAPROP But go on, sir-you'll see presently. ABSOLUTE Reads. As for the old weather-beaten she-dragon who guards you-Who can he mean by that? Mrs. MALAPROP Me, sir -me -he means me -There-what do you think now?-but go on a little further. ABSOLUTE Impudent scoundrel -Reads. it shall go hard but I will elude her vigilance, as I am told that the same ridiculous vanity, which makes her dress up her coarse features, and deck her dull chat with hard words which she don't understand-- Mrs. MALAPROP There, sir, an attack upon my language what do you think of that?-an aspersion upon my parts of speech was ever such a brute Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world, it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs ABSOLUTE He deserves to be hanged and quartered let me see-Reads. same ridiculous vanity-- Mrs. MALAPROP You need not read it again, sir. ABSOLUTE I beg pardon, ma'am.-Reads. does also lay her open to the grossest deceptions from flattery and pretended admiration-an impudent coxcomb -so that I have a scheme to see you shortly with the old harridan's consent, and even to make her a go-between in our interview.-Was ever such assurance Mrs. MALAPROP Did you ever hear anything like it?-he'll elude my vigilance, will he-yes, yes ha ha he's very likely to enter these doors;-we'll try who can plot best ABSOLUTE So we will, ma'am-so we will Ha ha ha a conceited puppy, ha ha ha -Well, but Mrs. Malaprop, as the girl seems so infatuated by this fellow, suppose you were to wink at her corresponding with him for a little time-let her even plot an elopement with him-then do you connive at her...