This is a good book for those interested equally in psychotherapy and meditation. I was looking more for the latter and did find a lot of good insights on the benefits of meditation. But didn't care too much for lengthy descriptions of psychotherapy cases. ( )

I wanted to like this but he lost me in the first few pages when the psychology jargon started to pile up and I really had no idea what he was driving at. Then the meditation got folded in and I totally lost my way. I had no idea what he was driving at most of the time except the "add some meditation concepts in your therapy", which seemed a reasonable idea but is that a whole book?

This book is divided into four parts.

Having completed the first part, I must say that I am confused about Epstein's argument. On the one hand he seems to say that while the objective is strengthening the ego, this is best achieved indirectly, by focusing on feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction and letting those feelings breathe. A stronger ego and restful mind result when not being directly sought. Kind of like a spiritual Obliquity ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obliquity_(book) ).

On the other hand, Epstein seems to be arguing for a jump from thesis to synthesis, with no antithesis in between. He cites Ken Wilber's "you have to be somebody before you can be nobody," and characterises Wilber as follows: "The ego must be formed before it can be dismantled; the self must be consolidated before it can be transcended." But all of this is written disapprovingly - he is setting Wilber up so he can knock him down. "Somebody and nobody are interdependent," he writes, criticising Wilber's framework; "they feed off each other rather than succeeding one another."

In this way, Epstein seems to be arguing for a jump directly from pre-ego to post-ego, with no ego stage whatsoever. I'm not sure I agree with him. I'm not convinced that is how things work. What's more, this seems to contradict his earlier writing in the book that advocates for indirect strengthening of the ego.

Lets see if Epstein can bring further clarity and, perhaps, change my mind in the rest of the book.

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Confusingly written. Self-contradictory. I tried and tried and tried again. Yet this book is so bad that I have added it to my otherwise very small shelf of abandoned books - books willingly left incompletely read. The literary equivalent of walking out of the cinema. ( )

For decades, Western psychology has promised fulfillment through building and strengthening the ego. We are taught that the ideal is a strong, individuated self, constructed and reinforced over a lifetime. But Buddhist psychiatrist Mark Epstein has found a different way. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart shows us that happiness doesn't come from any kind of acquisitiveness, be it material or psychological. Happiness comes from letting go. Weaving together the accumulated wisdom of his two worlds--Buddhism and Western psychotherapy--Epstein shows how "the happiness that we seek depends on our ability to balance the ego's need to do with our inherent capacity to be." He encourages us to relax the ever-vigilant mind in order to experience the freedom that comes only from relinquishing control. Drawing on events in his own life and stories from his patients, Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart teaches us that only by letting go can we start on the path to a more peaceful and spiritually satisfying life.

Genuinely not sure what to make of this - it seems simultaneously very slight and incredibly profound. Good to be reminded that meditation/spiritual traditions are useful tools. Interesting synthesis of psychoanalytic theory and mindfulness/Buddhism- and the ‘pain comes from your own defences’ feels like a useful lesson. But feel like I’ve missed a lot in it, perhaps. ( )