It's been a few years since I read this, the first book by Colette that I ever read. And I must say that my reaction to the ending is much different than it was the first or second time. Then I was disappointed. Now I understand. ( )

Once my favorite book

Talent, overwhelming talent allows Collette to completely take over the reader's mind and repossess it with the mind of Renee, a Parisian dance hall girl whose heart has been frozen to love's warmth by an early disastrous marriage. Published in 1910, this definitively feminist novel that extols the single life for women, regardless of its cost in loneliness and heartbreak, is the story of a poor, honest -- always brutally so to herself -- and profoundly introverted woman of courage that is exceptional for the age in which she lives.

In lyrical stream of consciousness, we experience an intensely intimate communication with Renee's thoughts and emotions as she reveals details of her home life, the sophisticated relationship she has with male friends in contrast to the maternal one her closest female friend has with her. Renee is a star of a touring performing troupe whose members offer nonjudgmental support to one another. In fact, the nonjudgmental natures universal to all the characters in this book is confirmation of the French character often mistakenly interpreted by some traveling Americans these days that the French are aloof, even rude when, in fact, they are politely disinterested.

Soon, the serene balance of the life Renee has maintained as a wall against the humiliation, pain, and disgust with herself for having married the wrong man out of love-blindness is overthrown when a handsome, youthful, and wealthy admirer seduces her with his sincere charm, innocent (of destructive forces of love), and true devotion introduces himself into her life. Renee is overcome with a roil of and becomes disoriented to her principles. Befuddled by the dread return of passion and, she believes, warped by the unworthiness of her love for Max, Renee, though determined to resist Max, is too beset and succumbs to love's force in a happy idyll.

When the performing company's manager comes to her with the announcement of a six-week tour, Renee vacillates between asking Max to come with her and denying him what he wants as well. Finally, reality and Renee's insecurities assert themselves and are reinforced by her imagination. Picturing upcoming nights in drab hotels, the boring confinement of long train rides, and horrified thoughts of how disenchanting her appearance will be to him when he sees her "en deshabille" she faces facts. For a woman who no longer feels young and made beautiful by love's glow, the imagined terrors are too much. She regretfully sets off alone.

It is these six weeks on tour that she wrestles with herself internally, and through letters she writes to Max, and over the ones he writes faithfully in return, she tries to resolve her conflict about which future life to choose. Will she trust in Max's love and believe she may have the capacity to again give herself in love for a lifetime, or will she return to her small set of rooms in Paris only to wrest herself out of her beloved's arms forever? There, in the dreary rain of a chilly dawn, the reviewer must regretfully depart her company. ( )

Beautifully written but not at all what I expected. I guess that I was thinking it would be something like Gigi; instead, it is the painfully melancholy story of a woman so wounded by her failed marriage that she is struggling to suppress all emotional attachments. ( )

This is the first book I read by Colette. I thought it was witty, inspiring, full of life and personality. One of my favorite sentences already towards the end, on page 211: ' Who is the full-mouthed ancestor who goes on barking inside me with a violence not only verbal but sentimental?'. ( )