Prepare yourself for an emotional roller coaster. The counselor suggested I start a journal and write down my thoughts. He called it 'Journal Therapy' and said it would help me cope with my feelings. I'm not sure where to begin, except to say that I had a wonderful life. Actually, it was a perfect life. A loving family and everything money could buy. A life envied by all, but it was stolen from me. I know I made a mistake. But I'm the one struggling to forgive myself. To explain I need to start from the beginning. But before I do, I must be honest and admit that I wasn't perfect. No, I had a secret. A secret that came with a price. A secret that will haunt my dreams forever.